Tag Archives: liar

Thoughtful Thursdays # 37 Feelings

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You will not break or die or disappear if you feel your feelings. There’s no need to run away or distract yourself with some substance or panic. Wait at minute. Just stop.

Feelings are scary. We don’t want to face them because we fear the depth of our magnificent selves. Deep in the well of our being is where the truth is.

That’s the reason you are feeling something. Your inner wisdom is telling you a truth. So why are you afraid?

Take a moment to just feel without judgement, without reacting, without running away. Let your feelings come out. Turn down the chatter in your mind, silence the inner critic that dishes out fear as if it were candy. The critic is not your friend when it comes to personal growth.

Your heart is calling you. Your feelings are calling you. You are a wonderful human being. Start acting the like it.

Don’t be so selfish. The world is waiting for your wonderfulness.

Go ahead love your self and others in your world. Say good things to yourself.

Give your self credit for getting as far as you have in this life. Your life may not have been perfect. So what if your life is not perfect. Welcome to the club because no one’s life is perfect.

Stop making the world wait for you. You are important.

Go ahead be happy, gorgeous, wonderful and a rock star.

Blessings to all.

Thoughtful Thursdays #21

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I smell liar and backstabber, and sneakiness in the air. When that smell gets on a person it never goes away. Has anyone lied to you and back-stabbed you? They smell really bad, don’t they? Rest easy it happens to everyone at sometime or another. Let’s say the damage is done, this person you trusted pulled the rug right out from under you. Turned others against you. Slam, splat your life has just melted into warm Jell-O. This person will not communicate or answer any questions. Just turned their back on you. Walked away, smug and strangely entertained by your reactions. You didn’t know they were using you. You were honest and helping and trusting. Their motives were hidden. This person has some definite sociopath issues. Unfeeling, unaware of what their actions did to you. What’s the next step?

1.Damage control. Stop all communication with this person and anyone who might be on their side.

2. Assess the damage. Such as, find out what they might be saying or doing that involves you. Take necessary steps to stop it.

3. Take time away from the situation. Go for a walk. Talk it out, write it out. Take care of yourself first.

4. Be as objective as possible. As time goes on clarity will reveal the truth and the next step. Be as unemotional as possible. It’s OK to feel, but too much emotions muddies up clarity.

5. Time will pass and the situation and damage will end.

6. Keep the focus on your own self-improvement. This helps move your life forward by maturing and getting smarter about relationships.

Sorry for the pain. But you are a better person than that bad smelling one. And besides, if someone feels the need to tear you down, best you know you are already above him or her.

Happy improving.

Thoughtful Thursdays #14

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Expectations:

I’ve always disagreed with the expression ” Have no expectations of anyone and you won’t be disappointed” because it sounds so strange. It doesn’t make sense. How can you not have expectations of anyone? That expression would mean never expect the bank teller to get your deposit right. Or not expecting to trust a doctor with your health. But I have recently changed my mind because now I understand the expression a little more deeply. This expression means not to have any expectation of a person to be anything but themselves.

For example, let’s say you know someone who is a thief and a liar. You leave this person alone with your purse and your wallet disappears. You ask where your wallet is and this person lies saying that he/she doesn’t know where your wallet is. Here’s where the expectation comes in. You expected this person to be trustworthy when you knew, on some level, that this person is not trustworthy. This is where disappointment comes in. You forgot the true character of this person. This person is a thief and liar. Unless by some miracle this person changes his/her character all actions will remain that of a thief and liar.

Simply put, don’t expect others to be anything other than who they are and you won’t be disappointed.

It’s good to be hopeful that people are basically good and well intentioned because you can expect the the bank teller and doctor will do their best for you. However, some people are not. It takes time to really get to know who you are dealing with. It’s safer to be detached and slowly get to know the other person.

There is no magic formula to protect yourself from those who are untrustworthy. It is risky to trust others. Sometimes we are desperate to trust someone. But using the skills of detachment, objectivity and trusting your gut will help in deciding if someone is trustworthy. And don’t let fear of being taken advantage of stop you from trusting. Most interactions with others are just fine. But the minute you see or feel something is not right, get out of the situation quickly. Trust yourself first and you will ultimately find the truth of anything.

Peace.