Tag Archives: victim

Jul9

Thoughtful Thursday #309 – In Service To Humanity

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With today’s negativity on TV and radio and magazines and hurt people acting out violently we can get sucked into the drama very easily and end up feeling hopeless and afraid.

Focusing on the external will make you feel you must react in some way. Not necessarily.

If you make your reference point external and have that run your day you are unwittingly acting from victim consciousness, when we operate from a victim consciousness we give away all our power to external people and events.

Note: people who are hurting aka victims, hurt other people which creates more victim consciousness. Think of the bully who has to hurt others because he/she is hurt.

When we meet angry events with the same polarity and divisiveness that created the angry event, and we are meeting those events with low level reactions and we are  postponing a greater world.

A world of peace, love, compassion, respect for all sentient beings, the openness to talk to one another and expand our wonderful world of exceptional humans and believe it or not, most people want this. Most people want to live in peace and safety.

Instead take a break from the negativity and choose a higher form of action:

  1. refuse to get taken in by unhealthy actions of those who wish to harm.
  2. have gratitude for the ability to choose your reactions.
  3. find reasons to feel positive.
  4. find people who you can love and that love you.
  5. send good wishes and pure feelings to everyone.
  6. take the time to think and understand what is going on in your life.
  7. take the time to think about how to react.
  8. be kind whenever possible.

Let’s build each other up instead of tearing down, let’s be of a greater service to humanity. Let’s be united for a better world with positivity. All of us.

 

 

 

Jan23

Thoughtful Thursday #288 – Others Stories

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I was listening to the former Miss America of 1958 Marilyn Van Derbur story who is a survivor of incest. This is not the first time I have listened to her story and I read her book.

I listen to a lot of other people’s personal survivor stories, these stories remind me that I am not the only one in the world who is a survivor of mentally ill caregivers. I am not the only one in the world who has to recover from horrific childhood conditions.

Listening to many courageous folks talk about their trauma experiences and their personal journey to recovery validates my trauma experience and personal recovery journey. And I am sure when I share my story of trauma I am an inspiration also.

I have given speeches and written about my life’s experiences for a long time now and I know I am taking the chance of stigmatizing myself as a victim but that is OK because as long as I can help someone on their own journey of trauma recovery I have done the right thing.

Here’s the takeaway: Share your story, listen to other folds stories that resonate with you. Your life’s story will be an inspiration and upliftment to someone, whether you know the person or not. Sharing your story is one small act of kindness and compassion for yourself and for someone else.

Thanks for reading and thanks for your courage.

 

 

Aug15

Thoughtful Thursday #268 – The Court Of Public Opinion

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I posted my opinion on a Facebook page that I thought was open minded and I could trust with my words.

Nope – my post was deleted and I  was called dumb and my opinion was wrong and didn’t matter. This is not the first time I have been treated this way when I give my opinion and once again I became a victim of the Court of Public Opinion.

Is it just me or does anyone else see this: I get that Facebook is not real life but it’s a platform for personal agendas and dividing people into different aggressive camps. I can bet you that the people running these pages are hateful and want company in their misery and only interested in advancing their own dysfunctional worlds. Which is really scary.

In healthy relationships no matter the platform, do not beat others up for having a different opinion, it’s normal and OK to have your own opinion, it’s OK to disagree, it’s not OK to bully someone for a difference of opinion.

The Court of Opinion is far and wide and in every direction on the internet. We see this everywhere – divide and conquer – if you don’t follow what this group believes you are banished into blocked land forever never to return, sounds like a trigger for abandonment and those who are not sure of themselves with cower to the pressure of compliance and wanting to belong.

These are trolls and where the weak minded, bully infested, creeps live. They hide under fake guises of welcoming the open minded but only open minded that unquestionably agree with their agenda.

Take this as a warning: the Court of Public Opinion is not your opinion, if you are not sure of yourself and have the confidence to be yourself, strong in your own values and convictions, and live in a genuine way to your own life – you will be victimized by the Court of Public Opinion on a regular basis.

Don’t fall for the fake, be your own person with your own mind.

Question everything. If something does not resonate with you then walk away or run away.

Those who reject you because of your opinions are not for you, there are those who are like you , waiting in the wings to meet you where you are, go find them.

Apr12

Thoughtful Thursday #208 – Trauma Can Define Your Entire Life

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It doesn’t matter what the trauma is, whether  physical, sexual,  emotional, neglect, serious accident, assault, illness, medical procedure, victim or witness to domestic violence, bullying, war, traumatic grief, homelessness, or natural disaster. Trauma is a deeply distressing and disturbing experience.

Just about everyone has experienced a trauma. When we are very young we don’t have the words or resources to express what has happened to us. As an adult our protective defences can kick in to protect us and we are at a loss to express our emotions about the trauma.

Trauma ends up defining our entire lives for the good or the bad. But mostly the bad. Trauma always permanently changes our lives. We end up changing how we view the world with defense mechanisms like repression, denial, intellectualization, rationalization, acting out, projection, isolation, dissociation, and avoidance just to name a few. This is the tragic and sad result of trauma.

Each defense mechanism is there to protect us. These are learned behaviors that our mind creates to protect us from the terror of trauma. And that is OK.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can 100% recover from the damage of trauma and all its destructive power and regain your life.

You can’t recover alone. Defenses don’t help. Fear will keep you isolated. The work of self discovery is not easy, it can be raw and scary and uncomfortable and it is an everyday effort no matter how small the effort is.

It takes just a little bit of courage in making your mental health a priority, find a therapist who specialized in trauma, research the subject, talk it out with a trusted person, write and write again, find an activity that will ground you like art, walking, exercise, and meditation.

The deeper you go in uncovering the effect a trauma has had the faster the recovery and the recovery will be permanent.

Making your mental health a priority will bring inconceivable benefit to you and your universe. You will no longer be held hostage to victimization. Never again to be taken advantage of, free to be who you were meant to be. Happy, calm, progressive, and healthy.

 

 

Apr1

Healing the Past

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HEALING THE PAST

Until we are willing to go back down into our painful feelings that were buried in childhood, retrieve them, allow them, and somehow encourage their natural release, no amount of yoga, meditation, spiritual quotes or vows to awaken will truly heal us. As a culture, we are so pain-phobic that we will do almost anything, go to any lengths to avoid feeling and dealing with emotional pain. We are not taught how to simply be with our feelings, and how natural they are. We are socialized to be ‘good’ and feelings get in the way of that.

And we have it all wrong. It’s not the pain that might just kill us…it’s the devotion to NOT feeling the pain that harms us the most. The trapped, stuck pain that then gets passed along in unconscious, out-of-our-control ways can destroy relationships, dreams of success, our inner peace, our physical health, and our belief in the goodness of life. Passing along the emotional energy in this unconscious way can become a lifestyle that baffles us, frustrates us, and keeps us in ongoing, painful patterns of interaction which we can’t even claim as our own. In fact, we often feel victimized by these dysfunctional patterns.

There are many ways to approach, acknowledge, and allow our pain feelings from the past. There are many ways to allow the child in us permission to feel, and not be shamed or punished for it. There are many ways to safely let these feelings flow naturally, once and for all, and then be released. There are many ways to be real, to be human, and to stop pretending not to feel.

Some of the richest and most fulfilling work I have done in my thirty-five year career as a healer is to help my clients access their Inner Child, and validate his/her feelings and experience. Connecting with and championing your own inner child is one of the most profoundly healing acts you can engage in, and one that will impact you deeply and positively.

As author Tom Robbins says, “It’s never to late to have a happy childhood.”

Give yourself the gift of inviting your Inner Child out of the closet and into the sunshine where you can be together and s/he can feel loved, understood and protected, as every child should.

~Janice Masters, The Shaman Mama

HEALING THE PAST Until we are willing to go back down into our painful feelings that were buried in childhood, retrieve them, allow them, and somehow encourage their natural release, no amount of yoga, meditation, spiritual quotes or vows to awaken will truly heal us. As a culture, we are so pain-phobic that we will do almost anything, go to any lengths to avoid feeling and dealing with emotional pain. We are not taught how to simply be with our feelings, and how natural they are. We are socialized to be 'good' and feelings get in the way of that. And we have it all wrong. It's not the pain that might just kill us...it's the devotion to NOT feeling the pain that harms us the most. The trapped, stuck pain that then gets passed along in unconscious, out-of-our-control ways can destroy relationships, dreams of success, our inner peace, our physical health, and our belief in the goodness of life. Passing along the emotional energy in this unconscious way can become a lifestyle that baffles us, frustrates us, and keeps us in ongoing, painful patterns of interaction which we can't even claim as our own. In fact, we often feel victimized by these dysfunctional patterns. There are many ways to approach, acknowledge, and allow our pain feelings from the past. There are many ways to allow the child in us permission to feel, and not be shamed or punished for it. There are many ways to safely let these feelings flow naturally, once and for all, and then be released. There are many ways to be real, to be human, and to stop pretending not to feel. Some of the richest and most fulfilling work I have done in my thirty-five year career as a healer is to help my clients access their Inner Child, and validate his/her feelings and experience. Connecting with and championing your own inner child is one of the most profoundly healing acts you can engage in, and one that will impact you deeply and positively. As author Tom Robbins says, "It's never to late to have a happy childhood." Give yourself the gift of inviting your Inner Child out of the closet and into the sunshine where you can be together and s/he can feel loved, understood and protected, as every child should. ~Janice Masters, The Shaman Mama <3
 
Jan14

Discernment

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Discernment

 

“Discernment is about learning to separate truth from lies, illusion from reality, fantasy from facts. It is about learning the difference between: emotional truth and Spiritual truth; emotional impulse and intuitive guidance, being victimized and feeling like a victim. It is about recognizing the difference between a person that can be trusted and one who will betray us – between a soul connection and an emotional attraction to a person who is emotionally unavailable.”

Robert Barney