Tag Archives: opinion

Aug28

Thoughtful Thursday #314 – Opinions

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Everyone has an opinion and in the age of the internet that can be dangerous. Opinions are based on the perspective and mental health of who is making the opinion.

Today there are so many ways of lashing out and destroying others that no one wants to talk up because there is no room for discussion. There is the belief ‘I disagree with you so I am right’.

What a bunch of nonsense, where is the freedom to safely express our own opinions. Why is there this new phenomenon of ‘Cancel Culture’, how has it become OK to attack groups one does not agree with.

The answer is: the mental health of the haters, it would be very interesting to find out the upbringing and lifestyles of the haters.

Those who lash out at authority have authority issues.

Those who defend criminal behavior have criminal mindset and create lots of trauma and drama.

Those who are secretly harboring any kind of resentment towards any group will defend that group who acts out that particular resentment, it is classically passive aggressive.

Those with their own agenda will take advantage of the ignorant and weak minded to gain power.

Those with power will manipulate those who are followers instead of leaders.

Kind people want kindness and the good for all and there are plenty of people out there being kind.

Happy people want happiness and well being for all and would not hurt anyone and there are people out there spreading happiness.

Those who are open hearted would not insist that they are right and others are wrong but instead strive to hear both sides and there are people out there with great open hearts.

Kind, happy, open hearted, honest and warm people and their groups are quiet, there is no need or room for trauma, drama.

Before you spurt out opinions please fact check what you are involved in, is the group for the betterment of everyone or only a few.

Our world needs helpful, honest guidance for so many who feel lost and afraid.

Please choose wisely.

And that is my opinion.

 

 

Jul2

Thoughtful Thursday #308 – Judgement VS Opinion

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According to Google:

Opinions are beliefs, not necessarily based on facts. They are personal preferences that take into consideration one’s mood, the mindset of the crowd being addressed and the overall environment of the situation. Judgement is more of an assessment which takes information into consideration.

Let’s step back for a moment, with recent triggering events that are still resonating in the world, emotional cries for unseen justice, threatening gestures to and from strangers, fear of speaking our mind, forced silence and an incredible amount of ungroundedness and no direction, let’s take a moment to reflect. What behaviors are we observing from humanity and what are we observing about ourselves.

Not only are these events triggering for trauma survivors but also for most of our friends and neighbors and those that we wish we could get to know better.

As a self care option we can use the above definitions of opinions and judgement to help us define and name what we feel and identify some of the inner workings of our mind especially when triggered with uncertainty. Ask yourself if you are reacting with opinion or considering facts.

What is within my control and what is not within my control.

Let’s practice kindness to yourself first then to others, visualize a peaceful place, quiet your mind, listen to music, check in with yourself, what is your self talk, talk to a therapist, be self compassionate,

It’s really important to find a way to become grounded and as peaceful as possible, from this perspective we can navigate our world much more effectively and in an mature matter.

You are important, you are special, you belong on this planet, let’s be good to ourselves and others by not being swayed by the rash opinions of others, let’s be as calm as possible. The world and all it’s beautiful inhabitants need great calm and understanding right now.

And if you are reading this you are one of the ambassadors of peace.

Carry on.

 

Aug15

Thoughtful Thursday #268 – The Court Of Public Opinion

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I posted my opinion on a Facebook page that I thought was open minded and I could trust with my words.

Nope – my post was deleted and I  was called dumb and my opinion was wrong and didn’t matter. This is not the first time I have been treated this way when I give my opinion and once again I became a victim of the Court of Public Opinion.

Is it just me or does anyone else see this: I get that Facebook is not real life but it’s a platform for personal agendas and dividing people into different aggressive camps. I can bet you that the people running these pages are hateful and want company in their misery and only interested in advancing their own dysfunctional worlds. Which is really scary.

In healthy relationships no matter the platform, do not beat others up for having a different opinion, it’s normal and OK to have your own opinion, it’s OK to disagree, it’s not OK to bully someone for a difference of opinion.

The Court of Opinion is far and wide and in every direction on the internet. We see this everywhere – divide and conquer – if you don’t follow what this group believes you are banished into blocked land forever never to return, sounds like a trigger for abandonment and those who are not sure of themselves with cower to the pressure of compliance and wanting to belong.

These are trolls and where the weak minded, bully infested, creeps live. They hide under fake guises of welcoming the open minded but only open minded that unquestionably agree with their agenda.

Take this as a warning: the Court of Public Opinion is not your opinion, if you are not sure of yourself and have the confidence to be yourself, strong in your own values and convictions, and live in a genuine way to your own life – you will be victimized by the Court of Public Opinion on a regular basis.

Don’t fall for the fake, be your own person with your own mind.

Question everything. If something does not resonate with you then walk away or run away.

Those who reject you because of your opinions are not for you, there are those who are like you , waiting in the wings to meet you where you are, go find them.

Jul7

Hurting Others

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This is a true fact of life:

People who are hurting,

Hurt others.

They can’t help themselves.

They hurt on purpose

because they don’t know any other way.

But that does not mean you should sit there and take someones crap. Not at all. You can still care for the person and try to help but a strong boundary is needed always.

When someone is hurting, as much as they might want to stop hurting they will bite the one trying to help them. Or they might feel justified in lashing out because they are in so much emotional pain, whether it’s obvious to them or not. It’s an extreme form of resistance.  And changing is hard work. In most cases even the sickest, most hurtful people have moments of clarity but cannot change. It is the same with everyone. We know we must change but can’t because we resist the exact thing we need.

In my opinion, people who deliberately hurt others, have a deep seated guilt about something, so they set up hurtful situations to be hurt back. Guilt always seeks punishment. Some behavior is as much a mystery to the offender as it is to the victim.

According to Steven Pressfield’s book the “The War of Art” resistance is ever present and we need to be aware of it all the time or it will kill us. Resistance is impersonal and out for blood in anyway possible. Resistance is the enemy of change. Resistance is the enemy of healing.

So what to do when a hurting person hurts you.

1. Feel your feelings.

2. Don’t deny what is going on.

3. Set up a strong boundary.

4. As tempting as it is: don’t hurt back.

5. Wait it out until you have some clarity.

6. Use kindness by trying to understand where they are hurting.

7. If they are open enough make suggestions for improvement.

8. Move on if necessary.

The person who is strong is the one who is willing to straighten hurtful situations out. The person who is weak is the one who withholds their willingness to straighten hurtful situations out.

Which one are you? What does it feel  like to hurt on purpose? What does it feel like to be the victim? What similar experiences have you had?

Are you the strong one who is willing to work things out? Or are you the weak one who is withholding.

The choice is yours.