Category Archives: Wisdom

Jun20

Thoughtful Thursdays #21

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I smell liar and backstabber, and sneakiness in the air. When that smell gets on a person it never goes away. Has anyone lied to you and back-stabbed you? They smell really bad, don’t they? Rest easy it happens to everyone at sometime or another. Let’s say the damage is done, this person you trusted pulled the rug right out from under you. Turned others against you. Slam, splat your life has just melted into warm Jell-O. This person will not communicate or answer any questions. Just turned their back on you. Walked away, smug and strangely entertained by your reactions. You didn’t know they were using you. You were honest and helping and trusting. Their motives were hidden. This person has some definite sociopath issues. Unfeeling, unaware of what their actions did to you. What’s the next step?

1.Damage control. Stop all communication with this person and anyone who might be on their side.

2. Assess the damage. Such as, find out what they might be saying or doing that involves you. Take necessary steps to stop it.

3. Take time away from the situation. Go for a walk. Talk it out, write it out. Take care of yourself first.

4. Be as objective as possible. As time goes on clarity will reveal the truth and the next step. Be as unemotional as possible. It’s OK to feel, but too much emotions muddies up clarity.

5. Time will pass and the situation and damage will end.

6. Keep the focus on your own self-improvement. This helps move your life forward by maturing and getting smarter about relationships.

Sorry for the pain. But you are a better person than that bad smelling one. And besides, if someone feels the need to tear you down, best you know you are already above him or her.

Happy improving.

Jun6

Thoughtful Thursdays #19

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20 Reasons to smile about life:

1. Dogs, cats, birds, animals.
2. Breathing, you wouldn’t get very far without it.
3. You woke up, start something new.
4. Sun, moon, stars are free for us to enjoy.
5. Other people, even the good, bad and ugly.
6. Children, all of them even if they are not yours.
7. Walking in any form calms the mind.
8. Trees because they purify the air
9. Internet, the world at your fingertips.
10. Books, stories new worlds to explore.
11. Your mind, it can solve all problems.
12. Money makes life comfortable.
13. Food, chocolate, coffee, tea make the world go around.
14. Inventions are the result of progress.
15. Science unfolds previous mysteries.
16. Art is the expression of the universe.
17. Bodies, exercise, enjoy the physical world.
18. Flowers smell sweet and look breathtaking.
19. Clocks are tick tock-ing time away.
20. Colors are infinite.

OK there are a few more than 20 here because there are many more reasons to smile about life.

Like sewing, amusement parks, cars, sleeping, laughing, honey.

Leave a comment and add to the list.

Happy Smiling.

May30

Thoughtful Thursdays #18

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Decisions

Sometimes it’s easy to make decisions. Like what to wear or cook or movie to see. Sometimes it’s really difficult to decide especially when there is no guarantee in the outcome. For example, getting a new job or opening a business. Getting a new job is easier because it’s predictable, structured and basically secure. Opening a business is risky, unpredictable and not a sure thing.

Some decisions are unavoidable. Like going to the dentist because you have a toothache. You will go to to the dentist to get rid of the pain. Ah ha, Pain, maybe that’s why decisions become difficult because they cause pain/uncertainty. Decisions are easy to avoid when they are uncertain so we ignore decision making until there is so much pain that a decision has to be made.

What is the cure for easier decision making?

Make a decision in any direction because the process of going into a new direction will bring you to your desired destination.

And that’s a good thing.

May16

Do It Yourself World

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This is a very DIY (Do It Yourself)world. That’s kind of scary. What do I mean by that. Living and working used to fit into nice, comfy, predictable molds. All you had to do is find where you fit in. A company, a role, a field of interest. But all that has changed. Like it or not life and working has become a DIY project. For example: in today’s world the jobs that provided security are few and difficult to get and are their criteria is ever changing. Life styles are changing so fast that almost anything is acceptable as a new way of co-habitation. Which leads us to find alternate ways of living and working.

But what happens when Doing It Yourself is not clear. There are thousands of books to read and thousands of people who will try to help with their view of any given situation. It’s human nature to find a place to fit in. How about fitting in with a DIY culture. It’s a different and unclear way of finding your way until you have reached a destination just for you.

If you have expressed, in your world, that you want to be an artist, or baker or writer or a doctor or anthropologist or business owner and the reaction you get is negative.

STOP expressing those interests to those who are not willing to support you. FIND those who will support you. MOVE towards what you really want to do. DON’T waste precious time looking for approval from those who have no idea or interest in who you are. That includes family, teachers, bosses, friends or anyone who is clueless about you. Do It Yourself means to Be Yourself Always.

It won’t be easy until you Do Your Own Life. Decide to have your own life and wish well to those who are not on the same path as you. You will end up being an inspiration to the naysayers. You will finally respect yourself and others will respect your for having the courage to create your own life. You will end up making your own kind of security and life style extraordinaire. And be truly happy.

Happy Doing It Yourself and Being Yourself.

Aug4

Thoughtful Thursdays #10

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I am reading “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. This is the perfect book about Resistance. Which I suffer from always. Actually I was in the same position as Mr. Pressfield, I couldn’t figure out why my creative life was not manifesting itself. I am always involved with routine and mundane tasks. But when the student is ready the teacher appears, hence Mr. Pressfields book.

Resistance is the enemy to any and every creative endeavor attempted. Resistance will assume any form to stop you from being creative and you won’t even know what hit you.
Resistance goes for the jugular and is out for a kill. However, if you fear it then its belly is fed, if you don’t fear it, it dies.

Resistance can be overcome by investing in you. Ignoring distractions and concentrating on you and your work or direction or any creative endeavor. This of course is easier said than done because, as Mr. Pressfield points out and I have experienced, as soon as you start something comes along to thwart your efforts.

But Resistance can be overcome. Don’t be afraid, do the work that needs to be done, and fight resistance to the death. Eventually resistance moves aside. It doesn’t go away but moves aside temporarily waiting for you to weaken in some way. However by this time you know Resistance’s style and it gets easier and easier to step aside Resistance’s games.

So get ready for battle. As noted in the book, have contempt for failure. And claim your life and creativity. I certainly will.

Jun23

Thoughtful Thursdays #8

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It takes an enormous amount of effort to get out of the denial of how we sabotage ourselves. Some sabotage is visible but most is invisible. In psychology it is understood that there is a need to stay unaware of uncomfortable situations. The need to stay unaware has many reasons. I think it’s the lizard mind protecting us. But when denial becomes a pathological blinding force that interferes with progressing in your life it’s time to step back and examine what is going on. Do you feel chronic sadness or feeling you are trying to punch your way out of a paper bag and nothing ever changes?

That is all fear. Fear of anything you can name that frightens you. It’s too hard and scary to see past fear.

Actually if you are not being physically threatened then fear is a paper tiger. It’s only the thought that you experience not an actual event. The mind does not know the difference of a thought or actual event. However the better part of you does know.

Speak up to fear and challenge it. You will see it has no power. How about practicing a little courage. Just a little. Think about what it would be like to have any life you choose. Even that’s scary. So what is one to do.

Pick yourself up, detach from fear and keep going even if you aren’t sure where that is. You will find your way and be happy in the process.

Happy hunting.

Jun16

Thoughtful Thursdays #7

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Aging

My primary characteristic is courage. I am not afraid to find answers and give others answers. I learned that if I don’t reach out for myself no one would reach out for me. Hopefully others see that and emulate it. Courage also comes with growing older. Reflecting back on my youth I was a real doormat. I allowed many frightful events happen simply because I didn’t know any better and that I could stand up for myself. But once I realized I had a choice in certain events there was no turning back and courage came to the forefront. Life happens and unfolds the way its supposed to even when society states otherwise. Society puts no value on age and expects the elderly to be hosted by nursing homes and relatives. What a waste of human talent. As long as a person is capable why not tap in on the immense talent that older adults have. After all none of us escapes aging.

Jun2

Thoughtful Thursdays #5

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You caught me on an interesting day. My middle daughter just graduated college and I am very proud of her. Kudos to my daughter, she worked very hard to get her biology degree. I don’t want to take anything away from her, we had a great day at the graduation ceremony.   BUT …

I also go to college to finish my fine art degree. I just got my grades for four classes. I got three A’s and one C. The C was in printing class. I went to every class. I made 15 plates and printed many of those plates. I missed 2 classes and there were no other grades during the semester. I am challenging the grade and we will see what happens. I have never had to challenge a grade. I think that if the teacher had a problem with my work he should have said something during the semester. But we got along really well, I learned a lot and had fun. So where was the problem? I don’t feel I should turn the other cheek or let it go because I am perplexed why he gave me this grade.

Here’s my point: I think it’s BS to forgive those who woefully hurt you because of their own invisible agenda. People express their own crazy subconscious on those who are innocent or remind them of their own problems or perhaps they just like to hurt and misuse their power especially in a school setting. In college, professors are hired for their knowledge not for their ability to teach. That’s too bad because even professors need people skills.

I am challenging the grade and I will state my case honestly in spite of a dishonest grade. Until next time.

Update: I got an “A”
 

 

 

 

May26

Thoughtful Thursdays #4

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“Take sorrow from no one and give sorrow to no one.”

I met a young woman recently that does not like hanging around with women.  How true. Women can be catty, judgmental and down right untrustworthy. How sad for us.

Here’s the secret to why women behave that way. Because that’s how they compete. When a woman, could even be your mother, puts another woman down she is just plain insecure and probably threatened because she is a very unhappy person. Any put down from another woman is a reflection on her not on the victim.  Is this behavior learned or are women generally beastly? I suspect it is more learned than biological.

Here is your mantra for today. “Take sorrow from no one and give sorrow to no one”.  The next time a woman has a put down for you take it as a compliment. She’s saying, “I want to be just like you”. Put your head up and be proud that you have that much power over someone else and your environment. Don’t absorb anything negative from anyone no matter who it is. Step back and observe the reaction of the other person when you don’t react. The junk they spit out on you just went back to them. Bravo for you.

May19

Thoughtful Thursdays #3

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Thoughtful Thursdays #3

Think about all the strange actions you have committed and have no explanation for. Why did I over react to a particular situation? Why did I risk embarrassing my self? Why did I lose my confidence? Why did I mouth off?

Because most actions we do as humans is below our consciousness. Really the only way to circumvent these actions is to pay attention to what your behavior is. It is enlightening to know your true motives. But with that knowledge you have the power to change.

Change is the hard part. However, in some cases it is so obvious what needs to be changed that doing so is easy. When change is hard it indicates a number of things, Perhaps your not willing to change the situation at the moment. Maybe you don’t know how. Maybe your are afraid, complacent, naïve, oblivious, sadistic, masochistic, don’t really care, happy being unhappy, don’t know any better, etc, etc, etc.

Ask yourself
Is THAT The Best You Can DO?