Bad News : trauma recovery work never ends. Trauma stays in your DNA, in your subconscious, in your dreams, in your worries, in your decision-making, in your choices. Trauma is embedded in your cells.
Good News : trauma recovery is indeed possible, trauma recovery is uncomfortable and our defenses will throw many distractions at us because they think it’s dangerous to feel. When we are ready and can sit with being uncomfortable without running away something happens. We become healed, because we didn’t run away, we allowed and trusted the organic process of feeling what we have avoided for so long and allowed the experience to fade away. Is recovery a simple linear process, not at all. The results are worth the effort.
I am not going to preach about commitment. Most of the time I am not very good at it unless it is really important or necessary. I usually focus on what I can get by with.
It is common to focus on the small window of activities in our lives because we are so busy doing actions to keep our heads above water.
Is society the cause? Is the economy the cause? Is fear the cause? Distractions? There are as many reasons and justifications as there are people.
For me, I am willing to commit to situations I either love or really enjoy or as a result of a crisis. Is that enough, probably not because I stay in my comfort zone. Let’s be reasonable. How much time does one have in a day.
The solution is to make an effort to get out of one’s comfort zone. Easier said than done. But so noticeable necessary.
Just try……..that’s the only requirement in a commitment.
Worry is the mother of procrastination. Worry paralyzes, warps and misinforms our already overloaded minds. Here is a simple two step solution to stop worrying.
Accept how you are feeling at the moment.
Accept what is going on at the moment.
As you accept your feelings and environment the truth will be revealed, what you don’t need will fall away automatically, what you need will come to you effortlessly.
When someone really cares about you,
They make an effort,
Not an excuse.
We had a death in our family over the weekend. It was expected because this person was elderly and sick.
I am reminded of the following:
Life is too short for Bulls**t.
But long enough to make things right. (Tweet that)
These words are easy to understand in our intellect but to take action on is nearly impossible. It takes a brave and courageous person to step out and up to making things right. Mostly it’s never done. We don’t want to go out of our comfort zone. We find reasons to resist and withhold ourselves from the world.
By the time a person is dying it’s too late usually because of fear, so setting things right is not on their mind. That is why we must make things right before death visits us.
Some simple ways to do that now is to:
Use kindness always.
Don’t argue with anyone.
Keep conversations uplifting.
Give hugs and kisses.
Say I love you, even if its hard to say.
Send silent good wishes and pure feelings.
Ask yourself this: Do I want to die with regrets about what I did not say?
If you said no then make every effort to set what needs to be set right in your life. You won’t regret it.
It takes an enormous amount of effort to get out of the denial of how we sabotage ourselves. Some sabotage is visible but most is invisible. In psychology it is understood that there is a need to stay unaware of uncomfortable situations. The need to stay unaware has many reasons. I think it’s the lizard mind protecting us. But when denial becomes a pathological blinding force that interferes with progressing in your life it’s time to step back and examine what is going on. Do you feel chronic sadness or feeling you are trying to punch your way out of a paper bag and nothing ever changes?
That is all fear. Fear of anything you can name that frightens you. It’s too hard and scary to see past fear.
Actually if you are not being physically threatened then fear is a paper tiger. It’s only the thought that you experience not an actual event. The mind does not know the difference of a thought or actual event. However the better part of you does know.
Speak up to fear and challenge it. You will see it has no power. How about practicing a little courage. Just a little. Think about what it would be like to have any life you choose. Even that’s scary. So what is one to do.
Pick yourself up, detach from fear and keep going even if you aren’t sure where that is. You will find your way and be happy in the process.