Category Archives: Change

Jun20

Thoughtful Thursdays #21

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I smell liar and backstabber, and sneakiness in the air. When that smell gets on a person it never goes away. Has anyone lied to you and back-stabbed you? They smell really bad, don’t they? Rest easy it happens to everyone at sometime or another. Let’s say the damage is done, this person you trusted pulled the rug right out from under you. Turned others against you. Slam, splat your life has just melted into warm Jell-O. This person will not communicate or answer any questions. Just turned their back on you. Walked away, smug and strangely entertained by your reactions. You didn’t know they were using you. You were honest and helping and trusting. Their motives were hidden. This person has some definite sociopath issues. Unfeeling, unaware of what their actions did to you. What’s the next step?

1.Damage control. Stop all communication with this person and anyone who might be on their side.

2. Assess the damage. Such as, find out what they might be saying or doing that involves you. Take necessary steps to stop it.

3. Take time away from the situation. Go for a walk. Talk it out, write it out. Take care of yourself first.

4. Be as objective as possible. As time goes on clarity will reveal the truth and the next step. Be as unemotional as possible. It’s OK to feel, but too much emotions muddies up clarity.

5. Time will pass and the situation and damage will end.

6. Keep the focus on your own self-improvement. This helps move your life forward by maturing and getting smarter about relationships.

Sorry for the pain. But you are a better person than that bad smelling one. And besides, if someone feels the need to tear you down, best you know you are already above him or her.

Happy improving.

Jun13

Thoughtful Thursdays #20

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There are many kinds of Creativity. Here are just a few. Give your own Creativity a try today.

1. Creativity heals broken minds. Read up on Creative Arts Therapy.
2. Tell a story you need to hear.
3. Paint a picture in your own style.
4. Boil a tasty soup to warm your insides.
5. Sew up some brand new pretty clothes.
6. Crochet a cozy blanket.
7. Take lots of pictures with your camera or cell phone.
8. Write your life story.
9. Learn a musical instrument, even if it’s a recorder. (Remember those?)
10. Some sturdy string and beads will make a simple bracelet or ring.
11. Try a new recipe.

There are countless ways to be creative. Find one thing that makes you happy and do it. You will gain confidence and be proud of yourself. Any creative activity will strengthen your brain and help you improve your problem solving ability. Go ahead, give it a try.

Happy creating.

May30

Thoughtful Thursdays #18

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Decisions

Sometimes it’s easy to make decisions. Like what to wear or cook or movie to see. Sometimes it’s really difficult to decide especially when there is no guarantee in the outcome. For example, getting a new job or opening a business. Getting a new job is easier because it’s predictable, structured and basically secure. Opening a business is risky, unpredictable and not a sure thing.

Some decisions are unavoidable. Like going to the dentist because you have a toothache. You will go to to the dentist to get rid of the pain. Ah ha, Pain, maybe that’s why decisions become difficult because they cause pain/uncertainty. Decisions are easy to avoid when they are uncertain so we ignore decision making until there is so much pain that a decision has to be made.

What is the cure for easier decision making?

Make a decision in any direction because the process of going into a new direction will bring you to your desired destination.

And that’s a good thing.

May23

Thoughful Thursdays #17

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I like 12 Step programs. They are healthy and a place to begin examining many damaging behaviors.

I bet you never heard of A.R.T.S. Anonymous. It is a 12 step program for artists. The word “artist” is used in the broadest sense to include anyone who is struggling with expressing your creativity. It could mean painter, writer, baker, seamstress and anyone who finds their creativity intertwined in their expression. As a creative person the craving for an outlet is always there and never goes away. But many artists avoid doing their work for many reasons. Mostly because of a trauma or fear. When you are not creating you are using something else to kill the aspiration to create.

A.R.T.S Anonymous is actually dealing with something positive. Our own creativity. In their literature I came across “Facing Avoidance: An Inventory of Attitudes and Beliefs About Doing Art”. There are over 70 questions that examine how we feel about doing art. For example: Am I willing to tolerate awkwardness, false starts, dry spells, and mistakes as part of the process? Do I hate myself when I avoid doing my art? Do I realize that inspiration is likely to come after I start working? That what I need will come to me when I need it if I make the effort?

On their website section: “Being Blocked” the very first sentence says “To be blocked is not truly an adult choice but the choice of a traumatized child who is determined to live their adult life safe from all harms. A child’s fears have imprisoned the adult”. These words really struck me as true because of my own experience in struggling with writing and painting. These fears are crippling at times. And quite incognito. Fear, many times, is invisible.

I get irritated when I read statements like: Just Do It, It’s mind over matter, Here’s the only method you will ever need to succeed. Because there is a river of deepness that is in our subconscious that needs a safe place to explore our expression of art.

Explore the A.R.T.S Anonymous website and read Steven Pressfield’s ” The War Of Art”. (I wrote about Pressfield’s book in my original Thoughtful Thursday post). Each venue will be an explosion of information and lead you to heal and express that which is uniquely you.

Happy exploring.

May16

Do It Yourself World

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This is a very DIY (Do It Yourself)world. That’s kind of scary. What do I mean by that. Living and working used to fit into nice, comfy, predictable molds. All you had to do is find where you fit in. A company, a role, a field of interest. But all that has changed. Like it or not life and working has become a DIY project. For example: in today’s world the jobs that provided security are few and difficult to get and are their criteria is ever changing. Life styles are changing so fast that almost anything is acceptable as a new way of co-habitation. Which leads us to find alternate ways of living and working.

But what happens when Doing It Yourself is not clear. There are thousands of books to read and thousands of people who will try to help with their view of any given situation. It’s human nature to find a place to fit in. How about fitting in with a DIY culture. It’s a different and unclear way of finding your way until you have reached a destination just for you.

If you have expressed, in your world, that you want to be an artist, or baker or writer or a doctor or anthropologist or business owner and the reaction you get is negative.

STOP expressing those interests to those who are not willing to support you. FIND those who will support you. MOVE towards what you really want to do. DON’T waste precious time looking for approval from those who have no idea or interest in who you are. That includes family, teachers, bosses, friends or anyone who is clueless about you. Do It Yourself means to Be Yourself Always.

It won’t be easy until you Do Your Own Life. Decide to have your own life and wish well to those who are not on the same path as you. You will end up being an inspiration to the naysayers. You will finally respect yourself and others will respect your for having the courage to create your own life. You will end up making your own kind of security and life style extraordinaire. And be truly happy.

Happy Doing It Yourself and Being Yourself.

Jul31

High Speed

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When you really know in your gut, DNA, heart and mind what your path is, your life will kick into high speed. So will your challenges. How do you know you are moving forward in the right direction? By the intensity of your focus.

There will be distractions but they will be momentary and brief allowing you to refocus quickly.

How magnificent is that!

Happy Creating.

 

 

Jan27

Stuff

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It occurred to me today that we waste too much time dealing with other peoples stuff. What I mean by stuff is other peoples power plays and attitudes. At times there will be several people who are at you for their own reasons and those reasons are hidden from view so they can’t be read. That’s stinky stuff. The hidden incognito stuff that you can feel but is disguised by some attitude or power play. For example, someone in your office decides you are not doing your job good enough (because their hidden agenda is jealousy) so this person rouses the powers that be and you are under the microscope. How should you respond? Respond with the facts, keep your cool and stick to your own stuff. Don’t be dragged into the drama. It’s hard to do but as we live day to day there are plenty of chances to practice.

You can do it. Don’t give up. And remember, as the saying goes, if someone is trying to drag you down, know that you are already above them.

Jan9

The Holidays are over.

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As much as I like the holidays I am always glad they are over. Too much work, stress and not enough resting. Now it’s back to a regular routine, work, bills and still no rest.

I am not a goal person. I just do what needs to be done and change what needs to be changed. So in the spirit of the new year it’s time for me to re-evaluate what needs to be changed and then just do it.

Happy New Year

Nov9

My Diary

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I have been writing in my diary for more than a year. As soon as I get up I write a page or so. I looked over what I have written and it’s the same complaints and worries over and over. When I get up I am to grumpy and sleepy to write well or with clarity.

I have been wrestling with the prospect of writing sometime during the day. Not at night because I am too tired to write and will have the same complaints and worries.

This reminds me of changing habits and how hard it is to change. Even though I know what needs to be changed and the excellent results that will appear from these changes I still resist.

“This is nonsense”, I tell my self. “Stop acting this way”, I say. I beg myself to submit to change for the better. Still resisting I remember how fear never goes away and I should just do what I need to do.

Wow, I learn a lot about myself when I connect to myself. Yeah I’m making progress!!

Oct6

Thoughtful Thursdays #12

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cI love the Fall. The air changes and the days are shorter. It’s cooler with a sprinkling of fading summer. The leaves are changing. This beautiful weather temporarily makes me forget the bills, the job, the lack of sleep and the running around.

It’s those small moments of being in nature that breaks up the whirling of my mind on secondary nonsense and is a reminder that feeling grounded and at peace are most important.

March on Fall. Colder and colder. Red, green, gold leaves falling and swirling in the wind bringing us closer to winter. Warm jackets, hot chocolate and soup. Crafting indoor happiness and wearing hats almost stolen by the wind. Soon to be barren trees and preparing for Christmas.

Remember the Fall as comfortable and lovely and arrives only once a year.
Absorb Fall and it will change you. Love the Fall and it will love you back.

Bye Bye I’m going back outside.