Tag Archives: Reflections

Healthy and Unhealthy Boundaries

Standard

Boundaries can be subtle or obvious. Here’s a partial list adapted from LoveEngineer.com.

Trust everyone or no one vs developing appropriate trust over time.

Black and white thinking vs realizing nothing is black and white.

Expecting others to automatically meet your needs vs communicating your wants and needs. (with the possibility of them being declined).

Self abuse vs treating yourself with respect and dignity.

Giving too much or not at all vs respect for others generosity.

Believing others can read your mind vs recognizing others can’t read your mind.

These are just a few boundary issues prevalent in our lives. Let’s add to the list and change what we can to foster our own growth.

10 Ways To Tell The Truth About What is Bothering You

Standard

We all tell little white lies in order to avoid a confrontation or not to hurt someone’s feelings. When that no longer works we must fess up and tell the truth. Here are some ways to do that.

1. Say what you have to say peacefully with caring.

2. Before speaking be honest with yourself and what you have to say. Respond don’t react.

3. Write it down first to clear your mind.

4. Trust yourself and your ability to speak truthfully.

5. Expect the other person to get angry. Don’t say anything if you are angry.

6. It will feel uncomfortable to speak the truth at first. But stay strong. Don’t buckle under to anger or guilt.

7. Follow your heart.

8. Feel the sensations in your body. This is where you feel the surrounding energy.

9. Talk it out with someone first.

10. Ask a question to start a conversation about the subject.

Ignoring what bothers you has a band-aid effect on problems. It doesn’t last.

Don’t wait. Find a way to say what you need to say. It will clear the air and allow for positive movement.

 

 

10 Character Traits of a Sociopath

Standard

The dictionary defines sociopath as someone with a personality disorder that shows itself in extreme antisocial attitude and behavior with a pronounced lack of conscience.

Here’s how to spot one.

1. they are well likes with lots of charm and high charisma, but generally don’t care about others.

2. stay to themselves.

3. blame others for everything.

4. complete disregard for any rules.

5. push boundaries.

6. have no boundaries.

7. don’t feel guilt.

8. don’t learn from punishment.

9. can act out deadly and extreme behavior.

10. bent on destroying others with no conscience.

Are you afraid? You should be. People like Ted Bundy and Charles Manson are sociopath.

If you encounter one. Don’t walk. Run away really fast. Your life may depend on it.

 

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #94 – Self Talk

Standard

How do you speak to yourself? Harshly, with poison or venom. Stop it now. You must pay attention to how you speak to yourself. If you speak badly to yourself you weaken your mind, You become hopeless.

Make an effort to examine your self talk. What good things are happening in your life? Focus on that. Be kinder to yourself than you would a guest. You are the one who will take you to where you want to be. No one else can do that.

You are worth the effort. You are talented, You are more than capable in meeting any challange.

Believe in yourself.

The world needs you.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #93 Success

Standard

My definition of success is different from your definition of success.

Perhaps you want financial success, or health success or relationship success. What ever it is you want there is one truth that applies to all success.

You have to be willing to make effort in transformation.

Transforming your self means to change. Change is not easy. We naturally resist change even when it is good for us.

Success is guaranteed by steady transforming actions. Learning from each situation will slowly bring success. Taking risks will bring success.  Getting out of your comfort zone will bring success.

The willingness to hold your own hand in personal transformation will bring success. Looking negativity in the eye will bring success.

Define your idea of success and bring up what needs to be transformed.

Be the creature you want to be. Go ahead, it won’t hurt. A little scary maybe but what you become will out weight any fear you have been holding.

Happy transformation.

 

 

Your Very Own Super Powers

Standard

I bet you didn’t know that you have super powers.

You have the power to not let anything disturb you.

You have the power to go with the flow of life.

You have the power to see an obstacle as a stepping stone.

You have the power to discern what is true and what is false.

You have the power to walk away.

You have the power to create the life you want.

Go on and do what it takes to make a wonderful life.

You are a superhero.

Death

Standard

From Pema Chrodon

Death is Certain

The hour of Death is not Certain

Pick what is Important

Uncertainity

Standard

There is a huge amount of uncertainty in living.

In a moment your life can change for better or worse.

Sometimes there are situations beyond our control.

Uncontrollable situations arise out of nowhere sending us into despair.

Even if the situation is painful,

space is being made for something better.

Space is being made for insight, intuition and understanding.

Go gently.

Align yourself with what is important to you.

You will find your way.

Fear

Standard

The places that scare you are not meant to hurt you.

Fear is meant to get your attention.

For example, worry and procrastination are forms of fear. Find a way to detach from the worry and procrastination. Detach emotionally, be an observer.

In that place you will find the lie that you are not good enough.

Don’t believe lies because they come from fear.

Face the fear and move in any direction that will help you be the person you are most happy to be.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays # 90 – The Voices In Your Head

Standard

There is one voice in your head which is the one that is constantly chatting, has racing thoughts and is fatality minded.  It’s the voice that can send you from the highest hopes to the deepest despair.  The voice in your head will automatically default to what is negative. Especially when things are going good.

But it is not you.

There is another voice in your head that is barely audible. It is drowned out by the chatting and racing thoughts etc. We can’t hear it because we don’t listen for it. This is the real you.

How can we observe what we are thinking to get clarity?

Detach from your thoughts and feelings and observe them. Thoughts are like waves in an ocean. Waves rise, crest and crash on the shore. Let your thoughts rise but don’t react to them. Let them crest observing them. Let them crash out of your consciousness.  Let them go without judgement.

Then relax. Take a breath.

In the action of daily activities this may not be possible. There are ways of carving out time for getting in touch with the quiet voice.

Meditate, go for a walk, exercise, do art, write, do something that is not part of your regular routine.

You will know that you are making progress when you feel at peace.

Happy Listening!