Tag Archives: improvement

Quit List

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Quitting is not a bad thing especially if its quitting bad stuff.

Here is my personal quit list.

It’s just a start.

Ready, get set, QUIT !

1.   Quit allowing my emotions run my life. Detachment is better.

2.   Quit procrastinating. Start fearless actions in improvement.

3.   Quit obsessing about things that are none of my business. Focus on what matters only to my improvement.

 4.   Quit being blind to my own self sabotage. Refuse to fall asleep on my behavior.

5.   Quit isolating myself. Make enormous effort to be in the world.

6.   Quit not speaking my mind. Speak up when appropriate and not hold back.

7.   Quit being judgmental to anyone. There is always a lesson there.

8.   Quit refusing to change. Say yes to everything.

9.   Quit refusing to push myself. I know there is more I can do.

10. Quit holding myself back. I forgot how to be really powerful.

11. Quit believing I am trapped. I am not helpless.

12. Quit believing life is hopeless. It is no where near hopeless.

13. Quit copying a life I really don’t want. Be original

Watch out world – I’m back to myself again.

What is your quit list?

If you can quit just one thing that holds you back do it today.

 

 

Hurting Others

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This is a true fact of life:

People who are hurting,

Hurt others.

They can’t help themselves.

They hurt on purpose

because they don’t know any other way.

But that does not mean you should sit there and take someones crap. Not at all. You can still care for the person and try to help but a strong boundary is needed always.

When someone is hurting, as much as they might want to stop hurting they will bite the one trying to help them. Or they might feel justified in lashing out because they are in so much emotional pain, whether it’s obvious to them or not. It’s an extreme form of resistance.  And changing is hard work. In most cases even the sickest, most hurtful people have moments of clarity but cannot change. It is the same with everyone. We know we must change but can’t because we resist the exact thing we need.

In my opinion, people who deliberately hurt others, have a deep seated guilt about something, so they set up hurtful situations to be hurt back. Guilt always seeks punishment. Some behavior is as much a mystery to the offender as it is to the victim.

According to Steven Pressfield’s book the “The War of Art” resistance is ever present and we need to be aware of it all the time or it will kill us. Resistance is impersonal and out for blood in anyway possible. Resistance is the enemy of change. Resistance is the enemy of healing.

So what to do when a hurting person hurts you.

1. Feel your feelings.

2. Don’t deny what is going on.

3. Set up a strong boundary.

4. As tempting as it is: don’t hurt back.

5. Wait it out until you have some clarity.

6. Use kindness by trying to understand where they are hurting.

7. If they are open enough make suggestions for improvement.

8. Move on if necessary.

The person who is strong is the one who is willing to straighten hurtful situations out. The person who is weak is the one who withholds their willingness to straighten hurtful situations out.

Which one are you? What does it feel  like to hurt on purpose? What does it feel like to be the victim? What similar experiences have you had?

Are you the strong one who is willing to work things out? Or are you the weak one who is withholding.

The choice is yours.

No Problem

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No Problem

Solutions are never necessary because there are no problems, only our perception makes it seem so, and only our minds make our perceptions seem real. If there is a problem it is our perception. That is hard to see in a world that celebrates and rewards the finding and solving of ‘the problem’. When you decide that you will no longer perceive the problem, you will see only the facts or a situation. Facts are just facts and any and every situation can always be improved, unless it is in the past, then it’s just a memory, and memories are never a problem, are they? If you can cancel from the patterns of your perceptions, the very idea of ‘problem’ then you will not only be a positive thinker and positive proactive actor, you will be a leader.

Thoughtfortoday.org.uk