Tag Archives: generous

Dec13

Thoughtful Thursday #283 – To Serve Others

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We can serve others without voluntarily acting as a martyr. We can serve others without giving anything up, nope not one thing.

We can serve others by telling our story, there is always someone who will be inspired by your struggles and how you overcame them. The world needs more brave souls like all of us who have suffered, to inspire others into positive action.

When we tell our story we are acting authentic and showing our true selves, you are saying what everyone is feeling but can’t say it, you are helping someone heal with your honesty, and importantly you have showed your humanity and gained trust because you tell the truth.

Your words and actions will reinforce the honest person that you are.

Your words and actions are the kindest way of serving others in a deep and profound way through inspired action.

How wonderfully powerful, and generous you are as you serve your fellow man by telling your truth, your fabulous story, you deserve to be very proud of yourself.

Carry on you brave soul.

Jul7

Hurting Others

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This is a true fact of life:

People who are hurting,

Hurt others.

They can’t help themselves.

They hurt on purpose

because they don’t know any other way.

But that does not mean you should sit there and take someones crap. Not at all. You can still care for the person and try to help but a strong boundary is needed always.

When someone is hurting, as much as they might want to stop hurting they will bite the one trying to help them. Or they might feel justified in lashing out because they are in so much emotional pain, whether it’s obvious to them or not. It’s an extreme form of resistance.  And changing is hard work. In most cases even the sickest, most hurtful people have moments of clarity but cannot change. It is the same with everyone. We know we must change but can’t because we resist the exact thing we need.

In my opinion, people who deliberately hurt others, have a deep seated guilt about something, so they set up hurtful situations to be hurt back. Guilt always seeks punishment. Some behavior is as much a mystery to the offender as it is to the victim.

According to Steven Pressfield’s book the “The War of Art” resistance is ever present and we need to be aware of it all the time or it will kill us. Resistance is impersonal and out for blood in anyway possible. Resistance is the enemy of change. Resistance is the enemy of healing.

So what to do when a hurting person hurts you.

1. Feel your feelings.

2. Don’t deny what is going on.

3. Set up a strong boundary.

4. As tempting as it is: don’t hurt back.

5. Wait it out until you have some clarity.

6. Use kindness by trying to understand where they are hurting.

7. If they are open enough make suggestions for improvement.

8. Move on if necessary.

The person who is strong is the one who is willing to straighten hurtful situations out. The person who is weak is the one who withholds their willingness to straighten hurtful situations out.

Which one are you? What does it feel  like to hurt on purpose? What does it feel like to be the victim? What similar experiences have you had?

Are you the strong one who is willing to work things out? Or are you the weak one who is withholding.

The choice is yours.