Tag Archives: emotional pain

Apr30

Thoughtful Thursdays #91 Arguing With Yourself

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Are you unhappy with what is happening at the moment or events that have happened in the past?

That is arguing with yourself.

Frustrated and overreacting with everyday dramas?

That is arguing with yourself.

Are you over thinking, feeling stuck and have racing thoughts?

That is arguing with yourself.

Worried, fearful, stinking thinking?

That is arguing with yourself.

The antidote:

Accept what is going on right now without judgement.

There really is nothing in your current circumstances

that can stop you from making the changes you need to make to be happy.

Stop arguing with yourself.

Apr16

Thoughtful Thursdays # 90 – The Voices In Your Head

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There is one voice in your head which is the one that is constantly chatting, has racing thoughts and is fatality minded.  It’s the voice that can send you from the highest hopes to the deepest despair.  The voice in your head will automatically default to what is negative. Especially when things are going good.

But it is not you.

There is another voice in your head that is barely audible. It is drowned out by the chatting and racing thoughts etc. We can’t hear it because we don’t listen for it. This is the real you.

How can we observe what we are thinking to get clarity?

Detach from your thoughts and feelings and observe them. Thoughts are like waves in an ocean. Waves rise, crest and crash on the shore. Let your thoughts rise but don’t react to them. Let them crest observing them. Let them crash out of your consciousness.  Let them go without judgement.

Then relax. Take a breath.

In the action of daily activities this may not be possible. There are ways of carving out time for getting in touch with the quiet voice.

Meditate, go for a walk, exercise, do art, write, do something that is not part of your regular routine.

You will know that you are making progress when you feel at peace.

Happy Listening!

 

 

 

Mar29

Waking Up

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Waking up to who we are is too important to ignore.

In Buddhism and psychology there is a method of healing that is easy in theory but difficult to do, unless you have trust.

I recently had some recurring flashbacks from the past. These feelings were a mystery that I have had since I was a child. My body felt like it was stinging. My mind was racing with desperation and longing, unidentifiable restlessness. I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was such a familiar feeling full of pain, hot tears and wanting an end to the pain.

I got still and trusted myself enough to be quiet and detached.

I let my mind go to that dark place where these feelings began and I had  a revelation that the feelings I relived were of abandonment. On a gut level I knew I was revisiting trauma from the past in what seems to be many years ago and almost an eternity ago. The memories flooded my mind. All the poor decisions based on my abandonment issues saturated my being. I understood how abandonment effected me. How abandonment was pervasive. I was not sad, just relived. I was fortunate enough to trust myself to sit with the feelings without running away from them.

Not running away from my feelings was the perfect way to get through the things that were holding me back on a very deep level.

Conclusion: Trust your mind it knows what it needs to heal.

 

 

 

Mar26

Thoughtful Thursdays # 87 – Feeling Invisible

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Ever notice a time you felt invisible in a crowd? People talk over you as if you don’t exist. Your opinion doesn’t matter.

Here’s some reasons why…..

1. You want to be part of the crowd but you really don’t like the crowd.

2. You try new things but only partially, not with your full heart.

3. You don’t realize how much you have to contribute to the world.

4. You are resisting the changes you need to make to be social.

Stop waiting for others.

Organize that road trip.

Make those phone calls.

Visit others even you are resisting.

Stop resisting our own life.

Start here and now with one small step.

It’s so much more fun to be with others than to be alone.

Even if it feels strange at first.

 

 

Mar21

Music Is Healing

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There is a ton of information out there about how the power of music is healing. Music has had a healing effect on me too. When I started meditation I listened to groups like Bliss and Carmen Warringtons meditation music. My favorite listening music is Jazz. Each has it’s place and I have been touched and healed by music in amazing ways.

Here’s my take in the subject.

1. Rythum is primal. The beat of a drum can be hypnotic or wild. Depending on the movement emotions can be intense or calm.

2.Tone is the rate of vibration of a sound. Tone has an effect physically and psychological effect on our being. Tone has the invisable effect that words can’t touch.

3. Melody is a group of notes put together to form a score. A melody can produce emotions, inspire imagination , bring up urges, effect our bodies and its functions.

Everyone listens to music and is influenced by it.

What most people don’t realize is that music touchs a higher level consciousness that is beyond worldly concerns.

It’s the times when you hear a song or hear lyrics that resonate in a place in your being that has no words. You could feel elation or serious sadness, love, empowerment, peace or centeredness.

Music has been called forth to be the language of the gods. It’s the language of the heavens and the universal language of the earth.

Musical sound is on the level of thoughts. Incognito but felt. Sound is the bases of the universe. There is sound everywhere whether you are conscious of it or not.

You have a choice to pay attention or ignore what sounds are effecting you.

In the store, in your place of worship, dance, in nature, on a seaside, on your radio, anywhere. Classical, Jazz, Tribal, Popular, Ethnic and many more.

Music is there just listen.

 

 

Mar13

Thoughtful Thursdays # 86 – Coloring Books

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Coloring books are mostly thought of  as a children’s activity. We all remember a time as a child that we sat with a coloring book and a new box of crayons.

Coloring books are not just for children. I went to the dollar store a few weeks ago and bought three coloring books and a new box of 64 crayons. I just wanted to color so I indulged myself.

I used only my non dominant hand to color. I went inside the lines and outside the lines. I noticed I couldn’t color very fast so my entire being slowed down. Coloring became a meditation, a stress reliever, my thoughts slowed down. I felt little again. Feeling little felt natural.

I was reconnected with simplicity, coloring was a quick creative fix. I noticed when I was finished with a few pages I was more focused and calm as I resumed my daily life. And occasionally forgot myself and used my non dominant hand for various actions like writing and picking things up.  That made me smile.

What a wonderful form of therapy. Cheap, works fast and gives both sides of your brain an equal workout.

I bought the simplist coloring books however there are many types of coloring books. Check your local craft shop or bookstore.

I plan on continuing coloring.

Try feeling like a child again and color. It’s endearing and delightful and it will brighten up your day.

Happy Coloring.

Blue, Pink, Indigo, Purple, Yellow, Cornflower, Timberwolf, Magenta, Black, Orange, etc., etc., etc…………………………

 

Feb12

Thoughtful Thursdays # 83 Ego vs Love

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Most of the time we don’t even know when our ego is around. However one reliable indicator that your ego is out is your level of give and take.

If you are taking more than you are giving then it’s your ego.

If you are giving more than you are taking then it’s love.

Can you be humble enough to pay attention to your actions and reactions?

It’s your choice……..

Feb3

A Sense of Accomplishment

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Often I have a nagging feeling of something that I can’t put my finger on. I feel edgy, uncomfortable, restless. I try different things to find out where the feeling is coming from. For example, eating, watching TV, socializing, any anything else that is out side of me.

None of those things work. I finally realized what I was denying. My own creativity. There is nothing in my world that is more staisfying as being creative. Whether it is painting or writing, I get a tremendous sense of accomplishment.

Most of us deny our true selves and the best way to get back in touch with it is do the thing that makes us feel accomplished.

It is our job to figure what that feeling of accomplishment is and build on it. Even if it for five minutes a day.

Happy days are created by not denying what makes us happy. Happy days are created by doing what makes us happy.

Figure it out for yourself. What makes you happy? Where can you fit in 5 minutes of this action that makes you happy?

Self discovery will take you to where you are supposed to be in all areas of your life. Seems unrealistic? Not really, the happier you are the more your life will come into the balance of where it’s supposed to be.

Happy Adventures………

Jan15

Thoughtful Thursdays # 81 – I Am Proud Of Myself

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So many times we don’t give ourselves credit for how much we do, accomplish or endure.

How many times have you bit the bullet and went to work because it was necessary. Congratulations.

How many times have you overcome an obstacle that seemed impossible. Congratulations.

How many times have you had to endure a really uncomfortable situation. Congratulations.

Each opportunity is a chance to say “I am proud of myself”.

Proud that I earn a living.

Proud I don’t give up.

Proud I have endurance.

Make a list of everything that makes you proud to be you and you will see how very capable you are and how valuable you are to everyone in your world.

Lucky you!!!!!

 

Jan8

We All Have Schizophrenia

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This is going to sound strange but yes we are all schizophernic to one degree or another.

Google Definition:

schiz·o·phre·ni·a
ˌskitsəˈfrēnēə,ˌskitsəˈfrenēə/Submit
noun
a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behavior, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation.
(in general use) a mentality or approach characterized by inconsistent or contradictory elements.

For example, we can have a mental disorder that leads to breakdown in thought, emotion and behavior when we fall in love or  have murderous rage.

Inappropriate actions and feelings can come from having our egos brused and wishing death and destruction to the offender and acting on those feelings. These are common stories in the news paper.

Withdrawal from reality in relationships can come from going into denial that you may be in a bad relationship, job, etc.

Inconsistent or contradictory elements can come from being frozen with indecision that you are paralized.

I am not negating the severity of schizophrenia but we all have different aspects of ourselves.

We can be the parent, the child, the protector, the killer, the compassionate one or more. Pay attention to how you behave in your interactions in your daily routine. These aspects will become visible if you pay attention.

We are a blend of aspects in our psyche and that is normal. Some aspects are more pronounced than others. Sometimes we are mostly sweet or angry, sad or outgoing or any other role. We all have flashes of insight and can choose whatever behavior we want.

It is our job to accept all aspects of ourselves and deny nothing. In this way we are in touch with our humanity and the humanity of others.

Happy exploring.