Tag Archives: courage

Jul11

Thoughtful Thursdays #24

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I realized that I have no enemies, only teachers. Each perceived enemy, obstacle and unnerving situation is a growth spurt in the timeline of my life. Each seeming bad person, organization or situation is really the wonderful opportunity to participate in having things fall apart right in front of me and participating in pulling them back together again.

We do ourselves a great injustice by not looking at uneasy situations as a teaching. By looking at it as a teaching we will not run away or look for an escape. Instead we can be objective, be in the moment and in an instant the situation comes into perspective and passes in its own time.

Here are some suggestions for dealing with things that are not working:

1. Stop your mind from racing
2. Be objective
3. Don’t look for an escape
4. Even if you are terrified stay in the moment
5. Respect yourself by having the courage to be still
6. Notice your feelings and thoughts but don’t react to them
7. Finally, just let go

Most of the time our days ordinary. On those days we can practice doing the things that make us happy inside of us not outside of us.

Know that everyday is a chance to change, to make choices, and move into a position of personal strength. So when bad things happen you won’t be so derailed. Learning to be calm in the face of adversity takes time. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen right away. Life will always help you by putting these nasty situations in front of us until we learn not to run away.

If I haven’t convinced you and you still want to run away then start jogging.

You are stronger than you think.

Jun20

Thoughtful Thursdays #21

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I smell liar and backstabber, and sneakiness in the air. When that smell gets on a person it never goes away. Has anyone lied to you and back-stabbed you? They smell really bad, don’t they? Rest easy it happens to everyone at sometime or another. Let’s say the damage is done, this person you trusted pulled the rug right out from under you. Turned others against you. Slam, splat your life has just melted into warm Jell-O. This person will not communicate or answer any questions. Just turned their back on you. Walked away, smug and strangely entertained by your reactions. You didn’t know they were using you. You were honest and helping and trusting. Their motives were hidden. This person has some definite sociopath issues. Unfeeling, unaware of what their actions did to you. What’s the next step?

1.Damage control. Stop all communication with this person and anyone who might be on their side.

2. Assess the damage. Such as, find out what they might be saying or doing that involves you. Take necessary steps to stop it.

3. Take time away from the situation. Go for a walk. Talk it out, write it out. Take care of yourself first.

4. Be as objective as possible. As time goes on clarity will reveal the truth and the next step. Be as unemotional as possible. It’s OK to feel, but too much emotions muddies up clarity.

5. Time will pass and the situation and damage will end.

6. Keep the focus on your own self-improvement. This helps move your life forward by maturing and getting smarter about relationships.

Sorry for the pain. But you are a better person than that bad smelling one. And besides, if someone feels the need to tear you down, best you know you are already above him or her.

Happy improving.

Apr28

Ending Relationships

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What a touchy subject. Sometimes we end relationships or the other ends relationships. The relationship could be personal or casual or business. Either way its difficult. Emotions are usually raw especially if the ending is unexpected. Actually even if it is remotely expected the end still hurts. I wouldn’t even begin to say ” I know what you are going through because I went through it too” ( I have been through it many times) because reactions are as unique as the individuals involved. But there are some common characteristics in each ending.

Endings are:
Sad, Mad, Angry, Heavy, overwhelming.
A sudden growth spurt in letting go.
About growing up.
A show of strength and character.
Not the end of the world even it may seem so.
Endings are about closure on the stuff you don’t need.
It’s a time out to examine what happened.
About learning detachment.
Take a look at what worked and leave the rest.

I’m sure there may be more but in the end the bad time is guaranteed to pass. It may pass quick or slow. But it will pass. A page in your life will turn. There will be many pages turned because change is part of life. So let time pass, seek out supportive people, read encouraging literature, and do whatever it takes to heal.

Peace

Jun23

Thoughtful Thursdays #8

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It takes an enormous amount of effort to get out of the denial of how we sabotage ourselves. Some sabotage is visible but most is invisible. In psychology it is understood that there is a need to stay unaware of uncomfortable situations. The need to stay unaware has many reasons. I think it’s the lizard mind protecting us. But when denial becomes a pathological blinding force that interferes with progressing in your life it’s time to step back and examine what is going on. Do you feel chronic sadness or feeling you are trying to punch your way out of a paper bag and nothing ever changes?

That is all fear. Fear of anything you can name that frightens you. It’s too hard and scary to see past fear.

Actually if you are not being physically threatened then fear is a paper tiger. It’s only the thought that you experience not an actual event. The mind does not know the difference of a thought or actual event. However the better part of you does know.

Speak up to fear and challenge it. You will see it has no power. How about practicing a little courage. Just a little. Think about what it would be like to have any life you choose. Even that’s scary. So what is one to do.

Pick yourself up, detach from fear and keep going even if you aren’t sure where that is. You will find your way and be happy in the process.

Happy hunting.