Category Archives: Change

Aug29

Thoughtful Thursdays #31

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As some of you know I have a very big dog. His name is Rocky and he is 133 pounds. This past Sunday night we were at the dog park. There were many dogs there including one that my dog occasionally plays with. The other dog (who is almost as big as mine) likes to dominate my dog. They end up playfully defending themselves until the other dog decided that he had enough and lopped off a quarter size piece of his right ear. Blood was streaming everywhere and I alerted the other dog owner. Initially they were apologetic and offer5ed to pay the vet. Then they wanted me to pay half. The husband and wife owners of this dog at this point started to get nasty and accused my dog of first starting a fight. They knew full well that their dog was the culprit. I threatened them by saying I would report their dog to animal control.

Since it was late on a Sunday we had to find an emergency vet. We found one and the other dog owners said they would pay the entire vet bill. They did not come with me to the vet and when the vet called for payment they refused to pay the sedative portion of the bill. They ended up paying $400 of the vet and I paid $146. These people were conniving, took advantage of me and are irresponsible dog owners.

Part of me wants to get even, the other part of me wants peace. I doubt it they will come to the part again if they see me and my dog there. I could call animal control and make a complaint or I could just let it go.
I have decided to let it go. Getting even is a useless attempt at trying to control the happiness or unhappiness of others and an attempt to relieve my frustration and anger.

I have the right to my frustration and anger. However, I have decided to leave it alone. because just knowing and believing “what goes around comes around” is enough for me. I believe if I act against them it will come back to me and I know their lying will come back to them.

My dog was well taken care of at the vet and very healthy in spite of losing part of his ear. He now has an interesting battle would, a conversation piece and I can go on with a clean conscious.

Can’t wait to get back to the park.

Aug22

Thoughtful Thursdays #30

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Everything starts with a thought.

Ever notice when you are upset with something your thinking is out of control. You find yourself spiraling down an abyss of negativity and can’t pull out of it. You feel angry, helpless, hopeless and unable to focus. The obsessive thinking starts and before you know it you are drained and unhappy.

There’s good news and only good news. These are only thoughts and thoughts can be changed. You are the power and authority in your world and at anytime you can change your mind.

I know you are not convinced because your ego is addicted to the drama of the situation.
Try this; based on the Queen of Affirmations philosophy of Ms. Louse Hay, her belief and mine, are that staying focused on what is positive will bring the best results.

Here are some affirmations. Write them 10 times each, your mind with fight you but you are the boss not your mind. In a short time you will calm down and feel better.

I open new doors to life.

I always have a choice.

I am worthy of all good.

I release all tension, I release all anger and I release all resistance.

I forgive all past experiences.

I love and accept myself.

These are just a few positive affirmations; there are tons of affirmations in books and on the Internet. Find some that resonate for you and use them.

So,

What Are You Thinking?

Aug19

How To Survive Getting Dumped

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Bam. Wait, what just happened? You find yourself being dumped and at first it’s impossible to believe. Your feelings are raw; it’s draining and painful. The tears don’t stop. The questions are endless. How did this happen? Whose fault is this? Did I miss something? Hold on a minute. Take a breath and read the following.

Relationships end for many reasons, it might be fear of intimacy, feeling vulnerable, don’t love the partner enough, using you for their own selfish reasons, or have other plans where you don’t fit into. There may be a need to step back, be objective and get clarity. Perhaps the relationship has lived out its usefulness.

The good news is that at some time or another everyone gets dumped. You will get over it. Here are a few practical steps to help you move on.

1. Don’t think you will never find love again – do you have a crystal ball?
2. Sit with and don’t react to the broken heart feelings – they will pass.
3. Talk it out with friends or a professional.
4. Even if you still like your ex do your best to cut all ties and move on otherwise you make a fool of yourself and continue to be used.
5. Insist on no more contact. That includes you, ex and the ex friends and family.
6. No stalking your ex in any way. Un-friend where necessary.
7. Give up being confused. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
8. Distract your obsessive thoughts with keeping busy, connecting with friends, cooking, working, writing, exercising, and conversations with your higher power.
9. Be very good to yourself. Do things you enjoy for a change.
10. Read or YouTube self-improvement and personal growth literature.
11. Watch funny movies, refuse to watch or read anything negative for a while. Especially those police shows that focus on extremely destructive relationships.
12. Find stuff to laugh at and lighten up. Stop all the seriousness.

It is definitely not the end of the world. Within a short time the painful feelings with start to go away. That’s guaranteed. You will move on and be free to find a terrific new relationship. Perhaps this time you will do the dumping. Just kidding.

So pick your self up, dust your self off and move up to better, healthier and supremely more satisfying relationships. Finally.

Aug15

Thoughful Thursdays #29

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Are you a hostage to fear?

Some of the tell tale signs are procrastination, not speaking up, uncomfortable with change, don’t’ trust, I’m not good enough. The list goes on and on.

Fear is the biggest bubble where resistance lives. It’s fear of the unknown.

The cure: be willing to change the way you think. For example, faced with the unknown notice the feelings in your body and mind. Challenge any negative thoughts. Don’t make quick decisions. Wait and calm down first.

Muster up your self worth and the doors will fly open.

Happy flying.

Aug8

Thoughtful Thursdays #28

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e.e. cummings said: “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting”.

When I read this it was almost too much to bear because it was true. It is a fundamental truth that no one talks about or even realizes till it’s almost too late. The truth is that society has set up rules so that if you don’t follow a particular like-minded tribe you will be lost and alone to the point of death. This mentality comes from the ancient survival mechanism in our brains that looks for safety. And it’s also has a clear undercurrent of power and control of a group under the guise of safety. I don’t know about you but I have been a loaner most of my life and I know that lost and empty feeling of not fitting in. I fooled myself for a long time with relationships, jobs, incredible ideas, trusting those I should not have and fabulous fashions but they all faded. The only thing left is me. Warts and all.

I have had sweeping changes and disappointments galore and guess what, I have survived. I still stand-alone and I enjoy being alone as much as I enjoy company.

Society has its own truths. I would never give up my truth to be myself. No matter what.

Be forewarned that acting true to yourself brings lots of jealousy and criticism. It’s a small price to pay for your own happiness. Be content and improve yourself regardless of what others think.

It will take a great deal of courage but you can do it. When there’s opposition, express it by doing something creative. Writing, painting, running what ever makes you happy.

Is this selfish, you may ask. No, because how can you be functional and productive when you have that feeling of uneasy boredom, are unhappy and living by habit?

No one can do your life the way you do so be proud of you and your life.

Aug3

A Better You

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Is this really possible? How many times have you tried a new behavior only to dump it after a short time? There are few things in life that are so hard to do. But there is a way to be a better you, an easier way.

 

To be a better you just do loving acts of kindness and give good wishes. It’s simple, easy and makes an incredible difference in your relationships and life.

 

 Wherever you can silently send peace and good wishes to someone you interact with or your community, world, those who are suffering.  If there is a situation or person who is completely intolerable: remain neutral. Have no opinion. Be objective and send only peace. See the difference it makes. Acts of kindness and silent good wishes change the air, change the electrical current of events, it will cause good to come back to you. This is powerful stuff. Powerful, spiritual, tangible, rich, deep and eye raising. 

 

 So no need to stress how to force your self to be a better person because there is a simple and easy way to be a better you and have good things flow your way.

 

 Try it for a while and you will not give it up so easily.

 

 Om!!!!!

 

Jul25

Thoughtful Thursdays #26

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I ran across the mention of a Tibetan yogini by the name of Machig Labdron. She lived in Tibet from 1055 CE to 1149 CE.  You can Google her is you want to know more about her fascinating life. She is known for the following 5 sayings. To practice all of them covers just about every aspect of negativity that holds you back. If you practice them you will become brave and confident. Guaranteed.

 1. Confess your hidden thoughts.  (This is not the same as confessing to a priest. It is acknowledging what is bothering you. You can write or tell someone, it’s up to you).

2.Approach what you find repulsive.  (For example, you see a dirty, homeless person and you are repulsed. Try looking at that person instead of ignoring them)

3.Help those you think you cannot help. (For example, speaking to someone who can’t help himself or herself like a struggling addict).

4.Anything you are attached to, give it back. (This means, instead of being so attached to something that it obstructs your life, let it go and trust that if its meant to stay it will).

5.Go to places that scare you. (That job interview, new places, eating alone in a restaurant, speaking up, the cemetery or any place that creeps you out. Not unsafe situations).

 This practice is easier said than done most of the time. Because life has a way of keeping certain issues in front of you time and time again. Those issues will stay there until you face them. These sayings or method of eliminating stressful issues will work if you try them.

 Happy hunting down those pesky stubborn issues that won’t go away and dissolving them.

Jul18

Thoughful Thursdays #25

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The blips on the radar of your life.

 In case you don’t know what a blip is here’s the definition I will be using:  something small within a larger context.)

Here are some bad blips.

It was the last time you had a difficult time. The time when the difficulty was small. The other time when the difficulty was extra large. The time you lost something or have some setback.

 Then there are the good blips.

The accomplishment that made you proud. Something new and shiny caught your attention. The ordinary days where all is smooth.

 Now what the “blip” does all this mean?

 It takes good blips and bad blips to balance out your life.

Jul11

Thoughtful Thursdays #24

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I realized that I have no enemies, only teachers. Each perceived enemy, obstacle and unnerving situation is a growth spurt in the timeline of my life. Each seeming bad person, organization or situation is really the wonderful opportunity to participate in having things fall apart right in front of me and participating in pulling them back together again.

We do ourselves a great injustice by not looking at uneasy situations as a teaching. By looking at it as a teaching we will not run away or look for an escape. Instead we can be objective, be in the moment and in an instant the situation comes into perspective and passes in its own time.

Here are some suggestions for dealing with things that are not working:

1. Stop your mind from racing
2. Be objective
3. Don’t look for an escape
4. Even if you are terrified stay in the moment
5. Respect yourself by having the courage to be still
6. Notice your feelings and thoughts but don’t react to them
7. Finally, just let go

Most of the time our days ordinary. On those days we can practice doing the things that make us happy inside of us not outside of us.

Know that everyday is a chance to change, to make choices, and move into a position of personal strength. So when bad things happen you won’t be so derailed. Learning to be calm in the face of adversity takes time. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen right away. Life will always help you by putting these nasty situations in front of us until we learn not to run away.

If I haven’t convinced you and you still want to run away then start jogging.

You are stronger than you think.

Jun27

Thoughtful Thursdays #22

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Words – they can make you or break you. Words can uplift and destroy, create goodness and damnation, get you what you want or push it away.

Words are wonder and horror. Withholding words is depressing and dangerous and make you cry and cringe.

Words unexpressed, unsaid, untold, unwritten are a cancerous sore oozing to be placed where they belong.

Words look for a home. In a heart, in an ear, in the air, on paper, on a sidewalk, on the radio, on the TV, in a song, on a billboard, even T-shirts.

Where do your words belong? Are they good? Are they hurtful? Are your words generous with praise? Did you choose your words carefully to unearth a misunderstanding? Did your words help you grow? Did your words help someone else?

Words are as important as water because of the weight they carry. Without words we become dry and brittle and unable to communicate our needs and desires. Words create smoothness. Words create trust, insight, understanding, and clarity. The way a river moves quickly so words quickly move our lives.

Today choose your words carefully because they can change the course of your life forever.

Will your words be wonderful or wicked?