Thoughtful Thursdays – #170 – I will I won’t

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Free will may not be all it’s cracked up to be. Free will gives us the freedom to do not only good things but unhealthy things like self-destructive behavior. You may say I can do what I want because I have the free will to do so – so I will.

On the other hand you have the freedom to say I won’t – this just may be the freedom you are looking for.

I won’t take what does not belong to me. I won’t talk to the pretty co-worker but go home and talk to my partner. I won’t take that hit of coke or pop that pill or take that drink. I won’t engage in unhealthy behaviors.  I have the freedom to choose either way. But “I won’t” just may free you up to enjoy a fuller life.

Happy choosing.

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Thoughtful Thursdays – #169 – Mental Health

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I am a strong supporter of doing whatever is necessary to have good mental health. Whether one is exposed to trauma or mental illness more needs to be done to talk about mental health issues.

In light of the uncalled for death of NYPD Officer Miosotis Familia her assailant had a long history of psychiatric problems.

The laws changed years ago to allow the mentally ill to have a say in their treatment. That’s OK for some but not for others. This person was so unstable that he randomly killed someone. This is not OK. Where was the necessary intervention. There is much media attention for the NYPD officer but these random killings by the mentally unstable go on every day, we just don’t hear about it.

Go to your doctor, spiritual advisor, hospital,library, online for resources on how to protect  and educate yourself on mental health. Know the warning signs if someone is acting irrationally. Know who to call for help. Get away if necessary. There are many ways to address these issues.

Learn all you can about psychology and behavior, the more you know the more you can keep yourself and family safe.

NYPD, all law enforcement agencies, hospitals, therapists, and family members deal with emotionally disturbed people every day. Let’s help ourselves and those who regularly deal with this population. Get educated on mental health now before another senseless tragedy happens.

My condolences to NYPD Officer Miosotis Familia and her family and please let this be an opportunity to talk openly about mental health issues so we can stop this senseless violence before it starts.

Trust

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It’s much better to get to know someone first before you express the power of who you are.

Not all are trustworthy. Some people are predators. Some want to destroy for the sheer pleasure of it.

It is perfectly OK to protect yourself, emotionally, physically, financially.

However, if you find someone you can trust, treasure them. This is truly rare.

Thoughtful Thursdays # 168 – The Curse of Awareness

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Trauma makes you do deep inner work which makes you acutely aware. The more you do this inner work the easier you can see others living in deep unawareness.

It seems like a curse and you will feel very different from the rest of the world. That’s OK. Stay different, you are not supposed to be like everyone else. You are supposed to be aware.

And there is a very good chance others feel different too, they just don’t show it.

Do whatever you need to do to be comfortable in your own skin. Embrace changing.

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 167 – It’s OK To Stop

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When I am overwhelmed with racing thoughts and panic I want to run away and hide under a safe rock. I want to numb out from a constant bombardment of possibilities but doubting all of them. I want to hurry up and bring conclusions and endings to stop the confusion.

But wait……….. instead of running anywhere it is OK to STOP.

Stop running and let the massive amount of stuff in your brain settle. Do something different, out of the ordinary, just stop. Force yourself if you have to. Just wait for your mind to process what is going on.

You will be surprised at the amount of insight that is revealed. It’s wonderful to know that everything will turn out well.

Thoughtful Thursdays # 166 – Roles

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We all play a number of roles during the day. Co-worker, parent, helper, listener, child, adult etc.

We play so many roles we forget to authentic.

We are authentic when we are truly ourselves with no fear of judgement.

It’s better to be your honest self because you will be happier and a better role model for others to be authentic too.

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 165 – Therapy

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Therapy – a scary word to some, the sound of relief to others. Seems extreme, doesn’t it?

For those who have no experience with therapy, it must seem strange, unusual, for losers. Those are the ones who are scared and not willing to do the hard, exhausting work of being aware.

For those who have some experience and left too soon gave into resistance. They were about to have a breakthrough but chickened out.

There are those that are curious and search different types of therapy as an easy way of quick fixing their mental health. But this is not really helpful.

For those who have many years of therapy  learn that the hard work of changing yourself is worth the blood, sweat and tears of awareness. I am not saying this happens all the time. Sometimes the change is subtle and on a subconscious level.

I advocate therapy because you have one person who is your die-hard ally who is interested in only you and your life. Therapists are mostly compassionate and caring and possibly give you the time, attention and care you may never had. If you are willing to be honest about how you feel to another trusted human being you will be transformed. At times it won’t be easy and that’s OK. There is no rush and no judgement. Just acceptance.

It takes just a little trust and courage to open up in a safe setting. We cannot heal in isolation, we need at least one person who is detached and objective to believe and validate us. Give it a try. You will uncover the truth of your life and you just may like it.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 164 – Abandonment

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Fear of abandonment is a core survival instinct. In a more rural time if you were banished from your village it meant certain death. We are born to feel belonging, it’s part of being human, when we are abandoned physically or emotionally it’s a death of sorts.

If we are abandoned today we won’t die but become dysfunctionally alone, barren, unable to trust, and painfully aware we belong nowhere.

There is a cure for this. You will not want to hear it.

You are the cure. You are the light at the end of the tunnel.

Do what it takes to process the damage of abandonment by significant others. Learn to trust yourself. You are all you need now. You are the strong one, able to live wholly on your own and not in a crowd. You are now able to allow what you want – not waiting for others to include you. You are in control of your own life and that is freedom.

You are the leader of the pack. Out of all the times you doubted you could survive. You did. You did a magnificent job. You deserve an Olympic metal for survival

Congratulations you win.

Thoughtful Thursdays – #163 – Trying

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It’s really hard to move forward in life. We work hard to keep going, getting up every day to try to better ourselves.

All it takes is one small momentary lack of judgement to lose everything and start back at the beginning.

It’s easy to slip back into old ways and be discouraged by setbacks. It’s OK to feel that way. Start again from the beginning. You will regain your composure and move forward again.

 

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays – #162 – Emotions

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Emotions are a barometer of information. Have you ever felt a strong emotion come up for, what seems to be, no good reason? Emotions can be triggered by a memory of the past. Emotions come up for you to examine, emotions won’t kill you, but they may scare you.

There is clearly a message with the emotion. If you can stay with the uneasiness of the emotion and examine it, you will be able to release it. Sorta like a balloon floating up into the air never to be seen again. It’s the same with the emotion that may be holding you back. This is the mystery of the subconscious (where emotions live) that is at work all the time. But we don’t realize it.

Feel it, release it, feel it, release it. Repeat

Will it be easy? Nope. But it works every time and you will be free.