Now hang in there with me as I explain what a secret history is: a secret history is your hidden beliefs.
The beliefs that are not even conscious, the beliefs that come from fear or terror or emotional hurt. Our beliefs try to protect us from being hurt again, You can hear it say, don’t go there, remember what happened last time. Don’t talk to her, she looks mean, Don’t take that risk, you will fail like all the other times. Don’t talk to him, you’re too shy, ugly, dumb, less than everyone else. On and on these beliefs hold us prisoner and not allowing us to live up to our full potential.
Some beliefs we would never vocalize. It’s too dangerous for anyone to know how we really feel. Some beliefs we go to our graves with.
This is your secret history of negative beliefs. It’s time to examine them one by one, scary as it is. Perhaps we can reverse the negative beliefs into positive ones.
I am worthy to be in the world, let me smile at her, I can take a tiny risk, it’s OK to fail because it’s a learning experience. I can express my love and feelings without worrying about rejection. What can I do to help someone else.
Hopefully we will be creating a new secret history of positive beliefs and be a light for ourselves and someone who may need it.
Bad News : trauma recovery work never ends. Trauma stays in your DNA, in your subconscious, in your dreams, in your worries, in your decision-making, in your choices. Trauma is embedded in your cells.
Good News : trauma recovery is indeed possible, trauma recovery is uncomfortable and our defenses will throw many distractions at us because they think it’s dangerous to feel. When we are ready and can sit with being uncomfortable without running away something happens. We become healed, because we didn’t run away, we allowed and trusted the organic process of feeling what we have avoided for so long and allowed the experience to fade away. Is recovery a simple linear process, not at all. The results are worth the effort.
Happy Thanksgiving 2018
Have a wonderful and peaceful day.
You deserve it.
Mind blindness is my code for believing anything you are told or believe to be true, especially when it is not.
Mind blindness causes prejudice, destructive false beliefs, tons of fear, missed opportunities, misrepresentation, isolation, sadness and creates many reasons to thwart camaraderie and friendship.
It is no easy feat to see our own mind blindness yet so easy to see it in others. It is easier to judge rather than see our own huge false beliefs disguised by mind blindness.
First, let’s start by uncovering our own false beliefs about ourselves, let’s stop beating ourselves up as not good enough, or rich enough, or wise enough or good-looking enough.
Let’s acknowledge that we have our blind spots but we have so much to add to the world. Let’s be open and honest enough to examine and question our own mind blindness.
Ask questions, why do I believe as I do, why do those I know act as they do, what is the truth behind that mystery that is bothering you.
You may be very surprised at the result of questioning your own mind blindness. The more we question what we believe the more open we we are to understanding no only ourselves but most other people too.
Sometimes we feel weird all of a sudden and don’t know why. This can be an emotional trigger. Perhaps you were reminded of a bad time in your life and the feelings and memories are buried deep in your mind and body.
If you can detach from the trigger for a moment by writing or some other grounding activity you will get a better perspective of how your inner world is working. Remember: a lot of recall is subconscious and it usually comes up as a feeling then a thought then an action.
With compassion, acknowledge what your inner world is sharing with you and thank it for sharing the hurt and trauma of a long-held memory.
By this method you can process and rearrange any painful memories.
Shortly after any horrific shooting it is common that politicians and rallies to hop on the bandwagon to complain that the common denominator is guns. Take away guns and there will be no more shootings.
That is not true, I can’t understand why ninety-nine percent of the public don’t mention that the common denominator is mental health. Normal people don’t go around shooting people, nor do they commit crimes. Most people are living their lives as best they can with families and jobs and everyday ups and downs.
There must have been red flags all along with these perpetrators. But what can the average person do about it.
How about starting to keep notes about what is seen and heard. If anything happens at least there will be some log to back up much-needed treatment. Anonymously report suspicious activity to the authorities. Do take any precautions to keep yourself safe.
The mentally ill cannot be forced into treatment but they can get help especially if they repeatedly violate the law, have chronic homelessness, aggressiveness and so on and you can be part of helping them. Look up Laura’s Law and Kendra’s Law.
Mental illness runs in my family. There were very little services available those many years ago and as a result there was so much violence and dysfunction and damage emotionally, financially and physically.
We live in wonderful times where finding information and services for mental health issues are readily available. If you or someone you know has mental health issues or need services, get on the internet and search for information talk to your doctor. Keep searching for the services you need. There is no reason to live in the dark, disturbing world of mental illness.
It is not easy to feel grief, we avoid it at all costs with distractions galore.
Allowing yourself to feel grief and cry and rage and weep are very healing actions to take you forward.
Grief that is not felt is invisible and holds you back. Clues that you are not feeling grief is lots of unfounded fear, perhaps you feel numb, anxious.
How can you get to a point where you can organically feel grief? Writing, talking to someone you trust, exercise, getting educated on recognizing grief, find a support group, being really good to yourself because you are hurting.
Grief work is a very personal journey, there is no timeframe, no right and wrong to process grief and your coping strategy will belong only to you. Only you have to validate this.
Is grief work easy, no it is not. It’s uncomfortable, the good news is that every opportunity you have to process and express grief the quicker it goes away.
Question everything you do. What is the reason and purpose of your behavior.
Question the motives of others. Ask why, ask for clarification.
It’s perfectly acceptable to try to make sense of your life and circumstances.
If someone has a problem with you asking questions, ask why?
You have the right and responsibility to yourself and your life to make it the best, you never need to justify bettering your life and life education to anyone.
You only have to answer to yourself.