Written, Illustrated by me.
Here’s my new book for any age. Available on Amazon: https://a.co/d/gqTcV38 and Ingram Spark: https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=n4ajoTVV4jrUmVir2lpb8nfxN4DlLkwi3YlpnqAYGtc
Oct6
I Love Cats
Tag Archives: writing
Mar7
Pan and Limerence-Unrequited Love
Pan was a harlot and whore. He ran after anything that brought his own pleasure without returning it. That being said in the excerpt from the tender countenance of Elizabeth Barrette Browning about Pan speaks of her very own passionate unrequited love.
Unreturned love is a painful, long lasting, shame invoking and obsessive thinking, cringe worthy, uncomfortable psychological state that can last for weeks, many years, or a lifetime. Many a murder and permanent destruction of lives has occurred because of unrequited love. Fortunately, and thankfully in our modern times there is a word and definition for it.
Limerence: coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979 is the involuntary obsession of a person. Many people experience this unexpected state of persistent desire for another. Healthy people move through the infatuation, crystallization, destruction phases and go back to normal. Emotionally challenged individuals take longer to recover. Those on the OCD, autism and schizophrenic scale have a much harder time to let things go.
The difference between limerence and love is that love is caring about the wellbeing of the person and limerence is about the uncertainty of the situation.
Limerence is tied to trauma and abandonment and neglect from childhood. Those who experience extreme limerence don’t realize they are trying to rectify unstable childhood family experiences through reenacting them in the present. This repeated reenactment is the minds way of saying hey you better look at this because it is getting in the way of healthy relationships.
How does one overcome Limerence?
Be aware of what you are feeling. Limit contact with the obsession. Prioritize your own self-care. Challenge the obsessive thoughts. Redirect your energy. Avoid replacing one obsession with another. Have a strict no contact rule. Write in a journal. Talk to a therapist. Join support groups. Research limerence and understand how it is playing out in your life.
Note that time will eliminate limerence.
I am not sure if Syrinx in this encounter with Pan ever got the chance to escape the water nymphs turning her into cattail reeds, but Pan got his comeuppance in the sense that he had his own case of limerence. At least for a while until his next desire came along.
Mar1
Shadow
If I hadn’t been so distracted I would not have rented a remote cabin deep in the Catskills Mountains on the edge of thick trees that whisper ancient stories to one another. I needed to concentrate on my writing.
It was a long drive, over two hundred and fifty miles. Alone and feeling unsettled I arrived at the rustically charming cabin. From the outside it looked cozy, safe, warm. My eye caught a flick of a curtain. I dismissed it because I was tired from the drive.
I opened the door. The creaky floorboards and mournful howl of air from the fireplace gave me goose bumps. I shrugged it off and locked the door behind me just in case goblins or elves were about.
It was chilly and noticed there were plenty of supplies of wood and kindling and matches to start a fire. The sun was setting and the night air was in so a fire would warm up the cabin in no time.
I settled in and began writing with pen as paper, writing the old fashioned way. I concentrate better this way. Trying to focus I felt a creepy, strange, prickling awareness like electricity flash up my back. Glancing up from my paper I could feel someone watching me yet I could see nothing. I froze.
Shadows cast from the raging fire burst onto the walls. One shadow did not move. It was like ink and pulsated and seemed to squirm and twitch. This shadow had no beginning or end. Didn’t bend, it was just there watching me.
Suddenly the shadow dislodged and took the shape of a long, lanky silhouette of a man with morphed edges that were thin and undefined.
I was terrified; it had no eyes, only black holes.
Instantly the air was bitter cold and very dark in spite of the blazing fire. Silence except for the crackles of burning wood. I heard a voice.
“Who are you? Why are you in my home?” it barked.
I grabbed my phone and put the flashlight on and aimed at the figure.
It shrieked as if the light burned it. The figure twisted in agony then disappeared into nothing.
I didn’t sleep, hours passed and dawn rose with a pink glow. I didn’t stay any longer. Whatever that thing was I was not going to hang around to find out.
Driving away I could see a dark figure lingering in the window. Lightly flicking the curtain.
That thing, that dark shadow stained me and would forever be in my memories. A secret, chilling true testament and mystery of the trees that tell ancient stories to one another about dead men with no names and dark shadows of long ago.
Sep24
Thoughtful Thursday #317 – Writing
Writing about writing, I write to get clarity in what I am struggling with. Lately for some reason it has been really difficult to write about anything.
I am not sure why, I have a hunch that this resistance is from some internal, unconscious, conflict. One part of me wants to write her heart out and the other parts makes her forget because it may bring too much attention to us. She is afraid of people, she wants to stay invisible, it’s safer this way.
I want this scared part of me to know that we will be OK, I will never let anyone hurt or humiliate her again. We are safe now and she can rest and not be on guard so much.
I hope she hears me and can trust me.
Sep3
Thoughtful Thursday #315 – Self Awareness and Self Consciousness
Self-conscious is when you feel extreme awareness of your appearance or actions. It is the knowledge of your own existence. Could feel uncomfortable at times. Self-consciousness is much more about what is external.
Self-awareness is when you can see yourself clearly with some objectivity with reflection and introspection. Self-awareness is much about what is going in internally.
If we can find a small wedge of detachment in your thinking, we can get a sense of either self-consciousness or self-awareness.
Developing a healthy sense of self requires that we know about both subjects, the value is the better you know yourself the better you know others which makes for healthier relationships.
Self-awareness is quite important because it allows us to deeply know ourselves better, what makes us tick, what makes us angry, happy, bored or interested. We can look honestly at our own actions with clarity and choose a wiser path.
Learning to have a healthy sense of self is a lifelong journey, there is no one way to learn, everyone is unique. It is so important to care enough about ourselves to take the time to know ourselves intimately.
You will gain confidence, insight, direction and goodness and no one can ever take that from you.
Aug20
Thoughtful Thursday #313 – Being An Individual
There is no team in the game of life, we are all individuals, we may belong to groups, have families, friends, careers but we primarily have to depend on ourselves.
We go out into the world vulnerable, and we must realize it’s all up to ourselves, and at times it’s scary.
As a result, from all the different experiences we encounter we end up building our character and confidence which is something no one can ever take away.
It’s up to us to correct, learn and take care of ourselves and perhaps others along the way. Being an individual is finding the meaning of life for you and no one else and the is the way it is supposed to be.
Aug13
Thoughtful Thursday #312 – Ritual Sexual Abuse
Trigger Warning, this is the work of Ellen P. Lacter PHD. who has the courage to examine Ritual Sexual Abuse and spreading the word of advocacy for victims of this horrific and sadistic abuse.
She has treated both child victims and adult survivors and has written in depth articles showing the effects of Ritual Sexual Abuse and the mindset of the perpetrator.
I am sharing this tough article because I refuse to say silent about child sexual abuse and sharing articles like this enlightens everyone, child sexual abuse is a crime that needs to end.
http://endritualabuse.org/category/what-is-ritual-abuse/
Jul9
Thoughtful Thursday #309 – In Service To Humanity
With today’s negativity on TV and radio and magazines and hurt people acting out violently we can get sucked into the drama very easily and end up feeling hopeless and afraid.
Focusing on the external will make you feel you must react in some way. Not necessarily.
If you make your reference point external and have that run your day you are unwittingly acting from victim consciousness, when we operate from a victim consciousness we give away all our power to external people and events.
Note: people who are hurting aka victims, hurt other people which creates more victim consciousness. Think of the bully who has to hurt others because he/she is hurt.
When we meet angry events with the same polarity and divisiveness that created the angry event, and we are meeting those events with low level reactions and we are postponing a greater world.
A world of peace, love, compassion, respect for all sentient beings, the openness to talk to one another and expand our wonderful world of exceptional humans and believe it or not, most people want this. Most people want to live in peace and safety.
Instead take a break from the negativity and choose a higher form of action:
- refuse to get taken in by unhealthy actions of those who wish to harm.
- have gratitude for the ability to choose your reactions.
- find reasons to feel positive.
- find people who you can love and that love you.
- send good wishes and pure feelings to everyone.
- take the time to think and understand what is going on in your life.
- take the time to think about how to react.
- be kind whenever possible.
Let’s build each other up instead of tearing down, let’s be of a greater service to humanity. Let’s be united for a better world with positivity. All of us.
Jul2
Thoughtful Thursday #308 – Judgement VS Opinion
According to Google:
Opinions are beliefs, not necessarily based on facts. They are personal preferences that take into consideration one’s mood, the mindset of the crowd being addressed and the overall environment of the situation. Judgement is more of an assessment which takes information into consideration.
Let’s step back for a moment, with recent triggering events that are still resonating in the world, emotional cries for unseen justice, threatening gestures to and from strangers, fear of speaking our mind, forced silence and an incredible amount of ungroundedness and no direction, let’s take a moment to reflect. What behaviors are we observing from humanity and what are we observing about ourselves.
Not only are these events triggering for trauma survivors but also for most of our friends and neighbors and those that we wish we could get to know better.
As a self care option we can use the above definitions of opinions and judgement to help us define and name what we feel and identify some of the inner workings of our mind especially when triggered with uncertainty. Ask yourself if you are reacting with opinion or considering facts.
What is within my control and what is not within my control.
Let’s practice kindness to yourself first then to others, visualize a peaceful place, quiet your mind, listen to music, check in with yourself, what is your self talk, talk to a therapist, be self compassionate,
It’s really important to find a way to become grounded and as peaceful as possible, from this perspective we can navigate our world much more effectively and in an mature matter.
You are important, you are special, you belong on this planet, let’s be good to ourselves and others by not being swayed by the rash opinions of others, let’s be as calm as possible. The world and all it’s beautiful inhabitants need great calm and understanding right now.
And if you are reading this you are one of the ambassadors of peace.
Carry on.
Jun18
Thoughtful Thursday #306 – Healing The World
Healing the world is a wonderful altruistic goal, unfortunately no one can. There will always be people who are not willing to help the world.
Why, because they are stuck in their own trauma, everyone has trauma in one form or another, you can see it in your everyday interactions. Someone is angry, untouchable, has heavy emotional baggage, bitter, unhappy, sabotaging, etc.
However to heal the world you much do the very hard and important inner work of examining your own life, it will take great effort but the positive results will be permanent, you will be happier, calmer, brilliantly confident and unafraid of living your best life.
Do the work, you are worth the effort and the world needs more healed people to help heal the world.
purelysimplewords 