Tag Archives: wisdom

Jan17

Thoughtful Thursday #243 – How To Get Unstuck

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Are you a victim to perfectionism or failure, racing thoughts, numbness, confusion, addictions, inability to trust, poor self talk?

We can treat ourselves in such an awful way by not taking care of ourselves physically and mentally.

Actually mental health is paramount for a successful life.

One way of easing our troubled minds is to ask questions.
Why was I triggered by that comment, why did I slink away from a potential intimate moment, why did I run away so fast that it actually scared me, why did I act that way?

Take a piece of paper or open a word document and start writing every possible scenario, keep going until you can’t think of anything else. By doing this you release all the power of holding these types of concerns in your head.

I guarantee you will be surprised at the insight and peace you experience.  Asking questions to yourself is another tool in your resource box for getting unstuck and have clear mental health.

Jan3

Thoughtful Thursday #241 – Am I Unloveable

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Sometimes our behavior makes us seem unloveable. We get unflattering feedback of our strange behavior and cringe with embarrassment. We get rejected because we seem aloof and unapproachable. Maybe we are single and think we just have not found the right person. Or perhaps we think we need a trip to Tibet to find ourselves. Are we that strange?

A Full Stop is Necessary.

Part of maturity and growing as a person is asking questions.

How am I making my life difficult. We may draw a blank here but keep asking.

How do I react when I am  annoyed, angry, happy.

How do I react when I am tired. Am I difficult around money, what do I worry about. What are my beliefs around sex.

There are tons of questions to ask and none of them are meant to make you feel guilty. The answers to these questions are to make you aware of your own patterns and how others in your life may perceive them, be it annoying or not.

Growing up to be a whole human is not easy but step by step you will become how you are meant to be.

 

Dec27

Thoughtful Thursday #240 – Mind Your Mind

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Paying attention to what you are thinking is an important step in a healthy mind.

Mindyourmind.org has some steps to help you have a healthy mind.

Top 10 Easy, Everyday Ways to Improve Your Mental Health

  1. Spend Time Outdoors
  2. Share a Laugh
  3. Express Gratitude
  4. Get Quality Sleep
  5. Exercise
  6. Dance
  7. Talk (to a friend, to your cat…)
  8. Take a Break
  9. Sing (in a choir, in the shower…)
  10. Your idea here!

From Psychology Today: The mind can sometimes be a wonderful, creative instrument. However usually, the inner dialogue is anything but constructive. Remember – you are not your mind, and never let yourself be tricked by it.

Quote by Denis Avey, Author: The mind is a powerful thing. It can take you through walls.

Buddha: “It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.” “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” “There is nothing so disobedient as an undisciplined mind, and there is nothing so obedient as a disciplined mind.”

We can never stop thinking but we can pay attention to what the chatter is all about and allow us to be a little more detached. Having a healthy mind is a lifelong journey. A journey so worth the effort.

 

Nov8

Thoughtful Thursday – #234 – Emotional Triggers

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Sometimes we feel weird all of a sudden and don’t know why. This can be an emotional trigger. Perhaps you were reminded of a bad time in your life and the feelings and memories are buried deep in your mind and body.

If you can detach from the trigger for a moment by writing or some other grounding activity you will get a better perspective of how your inner world is working. Remember: a lot of recall is subconscious and it usually comes up as a feeling then a thought then an action.

With compassion, acknowledge what your inner world is sharing with you  and thank it for sharing the hurt and trauma of a long-held memory.

By this method you can process and rearrange any painful memories.

 

 

 

 

Oct12

Thoughtful Thursday #231 – Questions

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Question everything you do. What is the reason and purpose of your behavior.

Question the motives of others. Ask why, ask for clarification.

It’s perfectly acceptable to try to make sense of your life and circumstances.

If someone has a problem with you asking questions, ask why?

You have the right and responsibility to yourself and your life to make it the best, you never need to justify bettering your life and life education to anyone.

You only have to answer to yourself.

Sep20

Thoughtful Thursday #228 – The Perfect Sin

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Complicit silence means to remain silent and complicit of a questionable act.

Complicit means involved in some wrongdoing.

Willful ignorance means refusing to be informed in bad faith otherwise known as ignoring the facts.

This amounts to a perfect sin, the sinner is perfectly lazy in not making effort to check facts, rethink their beliefs and opinions, being afraid of being wrong and knowing on some level they are actually wrong or actually getting involved in knowing truth in any significant way and staying close minded and blindly following along as if nothing is wrong.

These sinners are witness to domestic violence, child abuse, animal cruelty, bullying, turning away instead of helping, cheering wrongdoing because they are too passive to be a fighter and a sundry of crimes against our fellow-man.

Complicit silence and willful ignorance are mutual pals, can’t have one without the other. Both are incredibly harmful.

If you feel you can’t get involved and are a  witness to an injustice then say a prayer to your favorite deity for a positive outcome.

Send good wishes and pure feeling to the offended party.

And…………. you can call the appropriate authorities anonymously, talk to a mental health professional for advice, take an active part in getting involved to help save someone’s life by getting informed. If the offended is a child talk to their teacher. It’s OK to be courageous even if you are scared.

None of this is easy, but to remain in complicit silence and willful ignorance is so very harmful to all involved.

If you are a recipient of complicit silence and willful ignorance don’t remain quiet, fight back, find a way to get out of there, don’t give up. You are worth the effort. And you deserve the best life.

 

Sep6

Thoughtful Thursday #226 – Emotional Numbing

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Emotional numbing comes in two forms:

  1. detaching emotionally as a coping method to avoid triggering overwhelming feelings.
  2. detaching emotionally as a form of keeping boundaries and protecting from any psychic trauma.

What does it feel like to be emotionally numb? You feel like a ghost watching and observing others go along in their lives and you feel so invisible that you can’t interact with anyone. This state of mind is very painful. You feel unfocused and ungrounded. Can’t communicate or think straight.

There can be many causes for emotional numbing only you can say how it occurred in your life.

So how do you manage in the meantime.

  1. identify triggers, what caused your initial shutdown.
  2. write it out uncensored on your computer or by hand.
  3. talk to a therapist or trusted friend.
  4. stay busy.
  5. exercise.
  6. eat and sleep well.
  7. remember, the feeling is temporary.

It may take some time to come out of emotional numbness but that is the OK. Mental health is very important and it takes time to understand what is going on in our minds. Is it a linear process, not at all. Healing has its own time table, have patience with yourself and in the meantime take really good care of yourself. You are worth it.

Aug30

Thoughtful Thursday – #225 Forgiveness And Healing

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Whether you have chosen through your intellect to forgive or had a spiritual experience and spontaneously forgiven there is one element still at play.

Healing……………….Just because you forgive does not mean you have healed from the injustice inflicted on you. Healing takes time.

Don’t forgive to speed up healing. It doesn’t work that way. Healing is on a different level, more on a physical level along with intellectual level. We hold the things that need forgiving in our body and mind. Healing is an ongoing process and perhaps so is forgiveness.

There is no right or wrong way to forgive or heal. It’s your journey to find what fits for you.

 

Aug16

Thoughtful Thursday #223 – Hanging In There

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I have a recurring theme in my life, when things don’t go the way I want them to go because of distractions or obstacles I try to remember to hang in there. For a long time I did not do that I just gave up.

I can’t give up anymore.  If I am distracted I refocus my attention. If there is an obstacle I handle it and begin again. Each time I begin again is a step forward and that is all that matters.

One step at a time.

Aug9

Thoughtful Thursday #222 – Your Weird And That’s OK

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We become ashamed of ourselves based on others opinions and unrealistic views of who we should be.

Maybe we were told we were the family idiot or not good at anything and don’t deserve to exist.

When we were young we believed these things from our caregivers because we thought of them as gods. Not good gods either, more like frightening monsters.

As adults we have issues with trust, intimacy, boundaries etc. We are scared because we believe we are flawed with secrets of self-hatred, addictions, depraved things we have done and so on.

What is the answer, there is no easy answer but there is an answer. I am going to shout this out:

EVERYONE IS FLAWED, YOU ARE NOT ALONE, WE HAVE ALL BEEN STUPID, PERVERSE, WE ARE ALL ODD, INSECURE, PRETENDING TO KNOW IT ALL, WICKED, BAD TEMPERED, TRYING  VERY HARD TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER GROUP OF HUMAN BEINGS.

Let’s stop judging ourselves and others based on unrealistic views coming from media, dysfunctional families and violence,  it’s far better to accept ourselves and others based on our humanness. Let’s celebrate our differences and laugh at the strangeness of our human existence. We are all in the same boat of trying to live a decent life. Let’s pat ourselves on the back and be supportive of others who are trying too.