Whether you have chosen through your intellect to forgive or had a spiritual experience and spontaneously forgiven there is one element still at play.
Healing……………….Just because you forgive does not mean you have healed from the injustice inflicted on you. Healing takes time.
Don’t forgive to speed up healing. It doesn’t work that way. Healing is on a different level, more on a physical level along with intellectual level. We hold the things that need forgiving in our body and mind. Healing is an ongoing process and perhaps so is forgiveness.
There is no right or wrong way to forgive or heal. It’s your journey to find what fits for you.
Forgiveness is one of my pet peeves. Frankly I don’t think forgiveness is necessary or possible in many cases. I think it’s stupid to forgive someone who sees no problem with their behavior.
The anger felt can’t be glossed over because feelings are not logical. If you automatically forgive because it’s uncomfortable then you are not holding the offender accountable for their actions.
If the offender recognizes the problem and genuinely apologizes and changes their behavior then repair can begin. Perhaps trust is very broken but the relationship can be saved.
Most of the time there is no acknowledgement from the offender and life goes on as if nothing has happened. What happens then? You need to protect yourself and find a healthy way to deal with the pain and hurt like going to therapy and putting up strong boundaries against the offender.
Focusing on your own life and make your life the best possible for you. That’s the best way to get build back what has been lost by the hurt.
And it’s perfectly OK not to forgive, ever, if you don’t want to.
Here’s and excellent article that aptly explains the process of forgiveness and the article today’s post is based on.