Tag Archives: childhood

Thoughtful Thursday #277 – Feeling Safe After Trauma

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After trauma we can be so hypervigilant that anything will scare us, whether it’s a loud noise or scary thoughts, we perceive threats at every turn. This is a hard way to live; we just can’t relax and remain jumpy and tense, often for years.

As children grow they internalize levels of safety, if the caregivers were trustworthy the child feels safe enough to relax, if the caregivers were both physical and emotionally unsafe the child is always on alert to any real or imagined danger.

Many children never had or lost their sense of safety very early in life and grew unaware of any other options; this belief is carried into adulthood leaving the adult sometimes to create extreme safety methods like isolation. This would be a normal response to an abnormal childhood but in adulthood it is very unhealthy.

Take notice to what safety means to you, are you edgy in crowds, have no patience for mistakes and uncertainty, is safety something you find elusive and long for.

Giving a long list of methods of how to relax does not work, you must go deep into that scary trauma place, it won’t be easy, and temporarily scary and uncomfortable, but coming through to the other side of examining what your safety issues are and where they came from will expel that threat energy to relaxed energy that will create a safe space for you to heal.

Find that place where you deserve to heal, find someone you feel safe with, a therapist, friend, a piece of paper and pen, try any and all ideas you have to heal, you are worth the effort.

Healing the Past

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HEALING THE PAST

Until we are willing to go back down into our painful feelings that were buried in childhood, retrieve them, allow them, and somehow encourage their natural release, no amount of yoga, meditation, spiritual quotes or vows to awaken will truly heal us. As a culture, we are so pain-phobic that we will do almost anything, go to any lengths to avoid feeling and dealing with emotional pain. We are not taught how to simply be with our feelings, and how natural they are. We are socialized to be ‘good’ and feelings get in the way of that.

And we have it all wrong. It’s not the pain that might just kill us…it’s the devotion to NOT feeling the pain that harms us the most. The trapped, stuck pain that then gets passed along in unconscious, out-of-our-control ways can destroy relationships, dreams of success, our inner peace, our physical health, and our belief in the goodness of life. Passing along the emotional energy in this unconscious way can become a lifestyle that baffles us, frustrates us, and keeps us in ongoing, painful patterns of interaction which we can’t even claim as our own. In fact, we often feel victimized by these dysfunctional patterns.

There are many ways to approach, acknowledge, and allow our pain feelings from the past. There are many ways to allow the child in us permission to feel, and not be shamed or punished for it. There are many ways to safely let these feelings flow naturally, once and for all, and then be released. There are many ways to be real, to be human, and to stop pretending not to feel.

Some of the richest and most fulfilling work I have done in my thirty-five year career as a healer is to help my clients access their Inner Child, and validate his/her feelings and experience. Connecting with and championing your own inner child is one of the most profoundly healing acts you can engage in, and one that will impact you deeply and positively.

As author Tom Robbins says, “It’s never to late to have a happy childhood.”

Give yourself the gift of inviting your Inner Child out of the closet and into the sunshine where you can be together and s/he can feel loved, understood and protected, as every child should.

~Janice Masters, The Shaman Mama

HEALING THE PAST 

Until we are willing to go back down into our painful feelings that were buried in childhood, retrieve them, allow them, and somehow encourage their natural release, no amount of yoga, meditation, spiritual quotes or vows to awaken will truly heal us. As a culture, we are so pain-phobic that we will do almost anything, go to any lengths to avoid feeling and dealing with emotional pain. We are not taught how to simply be with our feelings, and how natural they are. We are socialized to be 'good' and feelings get in the way of that.

And we have it all wrong. It's not the pain that might just kill us...it's the devotion to NOT feeling the pain that harms us the most. The trapped, stuck pain that then gets passed along in unconscious, out-of-our-control ways can destroy relationships, dreams of success, our inner peace, our physical health, and our belief in the goodness of life. Passing along the emotional energy in this unconscious way can become a lifestyle that baffles us, frustrates us, and keeps us in ongoing, painful patterns of interaction which we can't even claim as our own. In fact, we often feel victimized by these dysfunctional patterns.

There are many ways to approach, acknowledge, and allow our pain feelings from the past. There are many ways to allow the child in us permission to feel, and not be shamed or punished for it. There are many ways to safely let these feelings flow naturally, once and for all, and then be released. There are many ways to be real, to be human, and to stop pretending not to feel.

Some of the richest and most fulfilling work I have done in my thirty-five year career as a healer is to help my clients access their Inner Child, and validate his/her feelings and experience. Connecting with and championing your own inner child is one of the most profoundly healing acts you can engage in, and one that will impact you deeply and positively. 

As author Tom Robbins says, "It's never to late to have a happy childhood." 

Give yourself the gift of inviting your Inner Child out of the closet and into the sunshine where you can be together and s/he can feel loved, understood and protected, as every child should. 

~Janice Masters, The Shaman Mama <3