“The Past is your Prison” – Ajahn Brahm
Got some pain from the past, release it. Stop thinking about it. Replace those thoughts with something positive. If you can’t think positive then at the very least be neutral.
Sep21
Tag Archives: pain
Aug29
Thoughtful Thursdays #31
As some of you know I have a very big dog. His name is Rocky and he is 133 pounds. This past Sunday night we were at the dog park. There were many dogs there including one that my dog occasionally plays with. The other dog (who is almost as big as mine) likes to dominate my dog. They end up playfully defending themselves until the other dog decided that he had enough and lopped off a quarter size piece of his right ear. Blood was streaming everywhere and I alerted the other dog owner. Initially they were apologetic and offer5ed to pay the vet. Then they wanted me to pay half. The husband and wife owners of this dog at this point started to get nasty and accused my dog of first starting a fight. They knew full well that their dog was the culprit. I threatened them by saying I would report their dog to animal control.
Since it was late on a Sunday we had to find an emergency vet. We found one and the other dog owners said they would pay the entire vet bill. They did not come with me to the vet and when the vet called for payment they refused to pay the sedative portion of the bill. They ended up paying $400 of the vet and I paid $146. These people were conniving, took advantage of me and are irresponsible dog owners.
Part of me wants to get even, the other part of me wants peace. I doubt it they will come to the part again if they see me and my dog there. I could call animal control and make a complaint or I could just let it go.
I have decided to let it go. Getting even is a useless attempt at trying to control the happiness or unhappiness of others and an attempt to relieve my frustration and anger.
I have the right to my frustration and anger. However, I have decided to leave it alone. because just knowing and believing “what goes around comes around” is enough for me. I believe if I act against them it will come back to me and I know their lying will come back to them.
My dog was well taken care of at the vet and very healthy in spite of losing part of his ear. He now has an interesting battle would, a conversation piece and I can go on with a clean conscious.
Can’t wait to get back to the park.
Jul17
Bit By a Dog
I have a wonderful dog. My dogs name is Rocky. He is 130 lbs and is a mixed breed of Lab and Rottie. He is smart and strong and loveable.
On Sunday in the early evening we were at the dog park. Since it was so hot my dog was sitting and relaxing. A lady came in with a pit and a shar pei. She stood in front of my dog and took the leash off her shar pei. For whatever reason the shar pei attacked my dog. Rocky was taken by surprise and got up to defend himself. In the meantime she was trying to get her dog under control and I was trying to get my dog under control. As I reached for my dog her dog swooped in to bite my dog but my hand was in the way. Instead he bit me. It hurt. I told her the shar pei bit me and she was genuinely concerned. She said if I needed anything she would pay for it. I was so impressed by her show of responsibility.
I washed off the bite, Rocky was fine and I was the only casualty. On Monday morning I went to the doctors. She said I did not need antibiotics because it was not infected. The pain was a result of the bruising from the bite and I consider myself very lucky it was not worse.
From this event I am reminded how powerful dogs are and how important it is to respect them and be cautious. My dog is so strong that I have to always were sneakers to support my balance. I have fallen many times because he will run after a cat or bird and I am no match for him when he runs. One time I fell and broke a rib. So for a long time now I just put him in the car and drive a mile to the dog park to avoid this kind of problem.
Rocky is a very good boy but he is still a powerful animal. His job is to be a guard dog and is very protective. He knows his job and does it well.
I have no bad feelings toward the dogs or the owner because that’s the risk of owning any dog. Even a little one can do damage.
So I leave you with this: Dogs are super creatures.
They are loyal, kiss a lot, like a child and need us as much as we need them. Great protectors, teach us the cycle of life and great conversation pieces. Are a lot of work but worth it.
Give a your dog a hug today, if you don’t have a dog, hug someones dog, but ask first.
Jul11
Thoughtful Thursdays #24
I realized that I have no enemies, only teachers. Each perceived enemy, obstacle and unnerving situation is a growth spurt in the timeline of my life. Each seeming bad person, organization or situation is really the wonderful opportunity to participate in having things fall apart right in front of me and participating in pulling them back together again.
We do ourselves a great injustice by not looking at uneasy situations as a teaching. By looking at it as a teaching we will not run away or look for an escape. Instead we can be objective, be in the moment and in an instant the situation comes into perspective and passes in its own time.
Here are some suggestions for dealing with things that are not working:
1. Stop your mind from racing
2. Be objective
3. Don’t look for an escape
4. Even if you are terrified stay in the moment
5. Respect yourself by having the courage to be still
6. Notice your feelings and thoughts but don’t react to them
7. Finally, just let go
Most of the time our days ordinary. On those days we can practice doing the things that make us happy inside of us not outside of us.
Know that everyday is a chance to change, to make choices, and move into a position of personal strength. So when bad things happen you won’t be so derailed. Learning to be calm in the face of adversity takes time. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen right away. Life will always help you by putting these nasty situations in front of us until we learn not to run away.
If I haven’t convinced you and you still want to run away then start jogging.
You are stronger than you think.
Jun20
Thoughtful Thursdays #21
I smell liar and backstabber, and sneakiness in the air. When that smell gets on a person it never goes away. Has anyone lied to you and back-stabbed you? They smell really bad, don’t they? Rest easy it happens to everyone at sometime or another. Let’s say the damage is done, this person you trusted pulled the rug right out from under you. Turned others against you. Slam, splat your life has just melted into warm Jell-O. This person will not communicate or answer any questions. Just turned their back on you. Walked away, smug and strangely entertained by your reactions. You didn’t know they were using you. You were honest and helping and trusting. Their motives were hidden. This person has some definite sociopath issues. Unfeeling, unaware of what their actions did to you. What’s the next step?
1.Damage control. Stop all communication with this person and anyone who might be on their side.
2. Assess the damage. Such as, find out what they might be saying or doing that involves you. Take necessary steps to stop it.
3. Take time away from the situation. Go for a walk. Talk it out, write it out. Take care of yourself first.
4. Be as objective as possible. As time goes on clarity will reveal the truth and the next step. Be as unemotional as possible. It’s OK to feel, but too much emotions muddies up clarity.
5. Time will pass and the situation and damage will end.
6. Keep the focus on your own self-improvement. This helps move your life forward by maturing and getting smarter about relationships.
Sorry for the pain. But you are a better person than that bad smelling one. And besides, if someone feels the need to tear you down, best you know you are already above him or her.
Happy improving.
May30
Thoughtful Thursdays #18
Decisions
Sometimes it’s easy to make decisions. Like what to wear or cook or movie to see. Sometimes it’s really difficult to decide especially when there is no guarantee in the outcome. For example, getting a new job or opening a business. Getting a new job is easier because it’s predictable, structured and basically secure. Opening a business is risky, unpredictable and not a sure thing.
Some decisions are unavoidable. Like going to the dentist because you have a toothache. You will go to to the dentist to get rid of the pain. Ah ha, Pain, maybe that’s why decisions become difficult because they cause pain/uncertainty. Decisions are easy to avoid when they are uncertain so we ignore decision making until there is so much pain that a decision has to be made.
What is the cure for easier decision making?
Make a decision in any direction because the process of going into a new direction will bring you to your desired destination.
And that’s a good thing.
Apr12
Thoughtful Thursdays #15
Thoughtful Thursday #15
Among other bizarre things that are happening in my life my youngest pet cat Munchkin got sick. She was nine years old. She got sick suddenly. I noticed yesterday that she was lethargic and not eating and seemed to have lost so much weight. I thought she caught a stomach virus from drinking out of my dog’s water bowl. Then I worried she had something worse.
My daughters and I took her to the vet and the prognosis was grim. She apparently had heart disease and her body made clots, which traveled and clogged the blood flow to her legs. There we were in the exam room crying and watching her slowly pass away from lack of blood to her heart. The doctor said she was in pain and there were not too many options for her recovery. We opted to put her to sleep. She died peacefully.
How very sad to watch an animal you care so much about die. After she pass away we sat in the exam room for a long time crying, petting her, kissing her, carrying her and telling her how much we love her. We told her what a good girl she is. We held her and looked at her lifeless body. We told her we were sorry about her being so sick.
After a long while we had the nurse shave some hair from her neck. She put it in an opaque tan pill bottle. We chose the individual cremation so we can take her ashes home and still have her with us. Plus a paw print.
I just wanted to say to you Munchkin how much we all love you and will miss you tremendously. That loud meow. The running away from us when we tried to catch you. Watching you sit by the window in the sun. Sometimes you would sit for so long just looking at the activity outside. Or curl up on the cushion at the windowsill and sleep so contently. Catch flies and run after toys. Scratched the heck out of the windowsill sharpening your nails.
I hope we were a good family for you and hope you were happy with us. We certainly enjoyed every minute with you. In the spirit land of kitties we hope you are relieved of your pain and are sweetly happy. We will always love you Munchkin and remember you.
We are already preparing a place for Munchkins remains. We have pictures and candles ready for her return. With the raw emotions my daughters and I feel we need this ritual to help us through this mourning period. I look forward to her return even if its in a different form.
To our darling sweet Munchkin we love you forever.
Feb17
Family Albums
I just read the blog post of “Write Change Grow” about holding on to family portraits and pictures. Here are some of my thoughts on whether one should or should not hold on to those pictures.
I have held on to many pictures. I have a special photo album with a silver metal cover that I keep hidden and inside holds pictures of my family and significant others at various times of my life. When I look at them I become sentimental and recall the good times. Not the bad times. It’s a chance to think fondly of these people who in some way influenced me in either a positive or negative way. The album makes me wish for a better time and not the constant drama of egos. The album is a chance to send good wishes and pure feelings to those who I can’t find the words to express how I feel or of those who are not willing to listen to how I feel. Keeping these pictures is a form of therapy. In my opinion it’s a form of grief therapy. Which is probably why I keep the album hidden. It’s the opportunity to go through the five stages of grief, namely, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
It’s safe way of dropping denial and believing that it wasn’t that bad, yes, it was that bad. Being angry at a safe distance, bargaining with invisible ghosts of those I wish I could speak to or even an unavailable higher power called upon to help but never shows up. Getting depressed about what might have been and all the lost time spent trying and hoping things would work out. It’s a way of feeling better about the disappointments surrounding those relationships. And finally after a long time accepting what is. Not having any more unrealistic hopes and dreams about the present moment. And realizing that relationships turn out the way they are supposed to and if those relationships had continued perhaps it would have been worse. Ultimately the celebration that I am strong and so is everyone else who has such an album whether hidden or on the coffee table.
As crushing or seemingly supportive each relationship was it has taught me that change always happens and with each ending or beginning I grow.
Happy Growing and keep those pictures until you are ready to dump them.
purelysimplewords 