Tag Archives: emotional pain

What Is The Hardest Most Difficult Thing You Will Do In Your Life?

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The hardest most difficult thing you will do in your life is:

CHANGE

Changing those bad habits

Changing those negative thoughts

Changing those toxic realationships

Changing those unhappy behaviors

Changing self sabatoge

Changing resistance to change

How many times during the day do you put up with stuff that grates on your nerves.

How many times have you said to yourself: I really need to change this thing that I do that does me no good at all.

But you do nothing. Welcome to the club. We all avoid going out of our comfort zone.

What we forget is that Change

is icing on the cake.

We can change our destiny by

simply changing

one small thing.

Start where you are.

Take chances,

Do it even if you are scared.

Even if you don’t know what you are doing.

It does not matter if you know

where you are going.

Any action is the right

action.

Thinking about changing is not enough. It’s easy to think about change because it is safer than taking action.

Action requires risk. Inherent in risk is the unknown. Hense the hesitation.

That is perfectly normal.

Do it anyway

You will not be disappointed

Because by focusing on

Change will guide you to

the necessary steps to move

Forward

It is that simple

Go For It

))))ooooooo((((

Happy Changing !!!!!

Thoughtful Thursdays #67 – Moving Forward

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Why is it so hard to change? Why is ti so hard to move on? Why do we get stuck?

There are so many possibilities as to why anything happens. There is a value to figuring out the whys.

However, taking action in any direction will allow the whys to come forward faster than just thinking about the many whys,

Action allows the mind to be distracted enough to let your subconscious do its job and inform you as necessary.

This is mother nature at work creating balance.

That’s the whole idea, isn’t it? To have balance.

Happy action.

7 Core Spiritual Truths: Principles of Infinite Being

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After you’ve been on the spiritual path for a while, certain recurring truths tend to turn up – ideas that are prevalent at the core of some of the oldest wisdom traditions, no matter how different they may appear on the surface, or how dissimilar they may seem in their practice and ritual. Often these are deeply intuitive ideas that can be confirmed directly through the practices of meditation and mindfulness, though very rarely explained with words. The following 7-point break-down from infinitebeing.com is as clear a crystallization of these truths as any we’ve found. Minus any extraneous fluff, they are lucid, concise and consistent with many of the core spiritual truths found both without, and within. Take your time, and enjoy. {WP}

1. Infinite Being is All That Is. Nothing exists outside of it.

The universe exists within the consciousness of Infinite Being. The physical world exists within the consciousness of Infinite Being. We exist within the consciousness of Infinite Being.

2. We are Infinite Being

Creation is holographic in nature. For example, the oak tree produces an acorn and yet the life-form of a complete oak tree is contained within the acorn. If a picture hologram is divided into two, both parts will retain the complete original picture. You are an expression of the consciousness of Infinite Being. Like a hologram, therefore, all that Infinite Being is, you are.

3. Destiny exists due to your pre-planning the themes of your life

At a soul level, you pre-plan each physical life before you enter it, choosing the themes that you wish to explore in that particular life. Your life’s themes are largely preset by your choice of parents, the time and place of your birth and the environment of your childhood. Many issues related to life’s themes unfold automatically from this initial setting. This pre-planning gives rise to the occurrence of related, meaningful events in life and the impression that destiny exists.

4. Free will enables you to explore your true potential

Free will can be used to any degree that you choose. The most productive use of free will is to explore your true potential within the themes of your life, thus gaining the greatest possible experience from your life plan.

5. Life reflects what you project

Reflectance is a property of the universe. Life reflects your beliefs, emotions and actions. The stronger these are, the more apparent it becomes that life is a mirror of what you project. Every time you change the way you view life, the universe, like a mirror, reflects your new view of reality.

6. Abundance is natural

Natural abundance comes from “getting into the flow,” by doing work that brings a sense of inner excitement. The phrase “Follow your inner joy” is actually the key to abundance. Once you follow your excitement and find yourself doing work that you love, then synchronicity begins to flow. Synchronicity is the universe’s way of telling you that you’re on the right track. It is a flow of events where everything clicks into place to support your efforts. It brings you opportunities, people, events and circumstances exactly when and where they need to be. When life flows naturally, the natural abundance of the universe follows automatically.

7. Love is the only reality

Unconditional, holistic love is the answer to all of life’s challenges. You are here on Earth to learn how to love yourself and others, and to accept yourself and others completely and without judgment.

Every person has a unique set of beliefs. While their beliefs will always be different to yours, they are best suited for that person’s need to gain experience in this life. Regardless of their outward belief system, it is the inner essence of the person that you recognize, love and accept. It is this unconditional love that will heal the world.

Unconditional love and acceptance can be developed by the use of affirmations. The more often an inner truth is repeated, the more it becomes integrated with your outer personality. The most powerful of all affirmations is “I am Infinite Being” because it encompasses all qualities and all possibilities.

The Infinite Being meditation uses the statement “I am Infinite Being,” both as a focus for the attention and as an affirmation to naturally enhance the quality of life.

re posted from http://www.wisdompills.com

Thoughtful Thursdays #66 – Forgiveness

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It’s easy to forgive a minor transgression like being pushed accidently or swatted with a book bag. Or someone being late for a get together.

Forgiveness is not useful when someone deliberatly hurts you over and over with no change in their behavior.

Those who continually hurt others laugh at how bleeding hearts turn the other cheek only to allow them to hurt again.

Don’t waste your time or your forgiveness on abusers of all kinds, psychos and narc’s, and addicts. They won’t even know what forgiveness is because they are numb to their own inner life.

All you can do is wish them well and love them from afar and protect yourself.

And be selective in who you forgive. You are entitled to pick and choose who you want to forgive.

Yes it is really that simple.

Napolean Hill – 17 Principles of Success

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It’s time to get back to basics of success. Mr. Hill’s work is classic and never gets old. Read these principles and get your life on the road to sucess quickly.

Lesson 1: Definiteness of Purpose
Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement. Without a purpose and a plan, people drift aimlessly through life.
Lesson 2: Mastermind Alliance
The Mastermind principle consists of an alliance of two or more minds working in perfect harmony for the attainment of a common definite objective. Success does not come without the cooperation of others.
Lesson 3: Applied Faith
Faith is a state of mind through which your aims, desires, plans and purposes may be translated into their physical or financial equivalent.
Lesson 4: Going the Extra Mile
Going the extra mile is the action of rendering more and better service than that for which you are presently paid. When you go the extra mile, the Law of Compensation comes into play.
Lesson 5: Pleasing Personality
Personality is the sum total of one’s mental, spiritual and physical traits and habits that distinguish one from all others. It is the factor that determines whether one is liked or disliked by others.
Lesson 6: Personal Initiative
Personal initiative is the power that inspires the completion of that which one begins. It is the power that starts all action. No person is free until he learns to do his own thinking and gains the courage to act on his own.
Lesson 7: Positive Mental Attitude
Positive mental attitude is the right mental attitude in all circumstances. Success attracts more success while failure attracts more failure.
Lesson 8: Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm is faith in action. It is the intense emotion known as burning desire. It comes from within, although it radiates outwardly in the expression of one’s voice and countenance.
Lesson 9: Self-Discipline
Self-discipline begins with the mastery of thought. If you do not control your thoughts, you cannot control your needs. Self-discipline calls for a balancing of the emotions of your heart with the reasoning faculty of your head.
Lesson 10: Accurate Thinking
The power of thought is the most dangerous or the most beneficial power available to man, depending on how it is used.
Lesson 11: Controlled Attention
Controlled attention leads to mastery in any type of human endeavor, because it enables one to focus the powers of his mind upon the attainment of a definite objective and to keep it so directed at will.
Lesson 12: Teamwork
Teamwork is harmonious cooperation that is willing, voluntary and free. Whenever the spirit of teamwork is the dominating influence in business or industry, success is inevitable. Harmonious cooperation is a priceless asset that you can acquire in proportion to your giving.
Lesson 13: Adversity & Defeat
Individual success usually is in exact proportion of the scope of the defeat the individual has experienced and mastered. Many so-called failures represent only a temporary defeat that may prove to be a blessing in disguise.
Lesson 14: Creative Vision
Creative vision is developed by the free and fearless use of one’s imagination. It is not a miraculous quality with which one is gifted or is not gifted at birth.
Lesson 15: Health
Sound health begins with a sound health consciousness, just as financial success begins with a prosperity consciousness.
Lesson 16: Budgeting Time & Money
Time and money are precious resources, and few people striving for success ever believe they possess either one in excess.
Lesson 17: Habits
Developing and establishing positive habits leads to peace of mind, health and financial security. You are where you are because of your established habits and thoughts and deeds.

Dark Poetry – A – Question

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Do you have questions just like me.
about how we are supposed to be.

In the dark of my mind
there you are standing sadly
head bowed and confused.

Don’t mind honey all is well
Eventually we will meet in hell.

by g.piazza

Jury Duty – It’s Not As Bad As You Think

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jury duty picture

 

Jury duty is dreaded. Everyone who is called for jury duty finds it annoying and a waste of time. I know, I understand but it is really is important. It is not only our civil duty but one day you may need a jury to help you out on a case that is important to you. Some aspect of your life may depend on it.

I just finished three days of jury duty on a civil trial case in Queens, NY. I have been called for jury duty many times but I was never picked until now. In the past I have testified as a witness in a number of cases in front of grand juries and mediation so I am familiar with the court process.  Here’s what my experience was as a juror.

Day one of the jury selection process is where at least 150 people wait to be doled out to the different courts. It is a grueling process because there is a lot of waiting. This is where I was picked for the civil case.

Day two is where we showed up in the afternoon to weed out jurors who wouldn’t be good candidates for this trial. After the judge made his selection of 6 jurors and 2 alternates we hear the opening statements of the attorneys and call the plaintiff to the stand.

Mr. K representing the plaintiff began because his client brought the case. In this civil case we were asked to decide only who was at fault in causing a car accident that happened two years ago. There were no other details given about the case. The plaintiff is an 81 year old woman and the defendant is a 20 year old man at this time. Mr. K asked all of us if the age of each driver was an issue in deciding whether a driver is a capable driver and can we be unbiased in deciding the case without age being an issue. He explained how the accident happened on behalf of his clients understanding and reminded us to reconstruct the details based on testimony to find the truth.

Mr. N the attorney for the defendant did the same and added he believed the plaintiff believes her own truth but the pictures entered as evidence could prove his client was not at fault.

Here is where the fun started. The plaintiff takes the stand to testify.

Mr. K began questioning his client on the stand to bring her out as a capable and aware driver. The plaintiff testified and was asked to recall the details of the day of the accident. She reminded me of a sweet senior who was traumatized by this incident and wanted some recourse or retribution in having her car totaled by ending up smashing into a tree with the defendants car squishing her like an accordion. She said she was in the correct lane advancing to her destination. We were shown pictures of the deployed air bag, points of impact on both cars, mangled front ends and back ends, black scrapes on the light car, white scraps of paint on the dark car and the poor tree victim. There were pictures of the road and questions about how and which way she was going. It was noted she was going to pick up MRI films and that was her intentional destination.

The plaintiff had an easy time recalling some of the details but most questions were answered vaguely and with I don’t remember.

I was riveted with attention in listening to the words used and watching the body language of the plaintiff and the two attorneys. Mr. N cross examined the plaintiff and was in fine form in working for his client. His launch began. His questions where direct and fast not to confuse but to prove the plaintiff was not recalling the details as they actually happened. What were the names of the street?  Why don’t you remember? Do you usually go this was? Why did you go that way at that time? Which lane were you in? Mr. K objected at least ten times to Mr. N’s questions and the judge sustained seven times with three side bars. Each attorney was giving their best on behalf of their clients. After about half an hour it was wrap up time until the next day. We were advised by the judge not to talk to anyone etc, etc, etc. We were then dismissed.

Day three was about hearing from the defendant and his two witnesses. Mr. N questioned his client in a way that showed him to be a responsible and efficient driver, student and part time worker. Asked to recall the moments leading up to the accident the defendant says he was already in the right lane and the plaintiff came from the center without signaling, smashed into his car hooking his bumper on to the other car and the both went up on the sidewalk with the plaintiffs car crashing into the tree and the defendants car right behind hence producing the accordion effect. I can imagine the sounds and confusion of the moment.

Mr. K cross examines the defendant. Why did he not know the exact second he tried to apply his brakes? Why did he leave his home without a licensed driver with him because he did not have his adult drivers license yet? Why did he pick up his friends? Where they paying him to pick them up? Mr. K was launching an offensive to save this clients case. Mr. N cries objection, judge sustains, there are three more side bars.

The defendants witness testified with the same information as the defendants. Here come the closing arguments. Mr. K revisited the testimony presented and asked us to seek the truth via testimony. Mr. N revisited the testimony and asked us to see the truth via the pictures in evidence.

I was completely absorbed in the process, it felt important. As we, the jury, left the court room, I had a hard time looking anyone in the eye because I didn’t want to feel anything. I liked everyone, I didn’t want to choose. Stuff happens and it is unfortunate to have to litigate about it. If the parties in a court case cannot settle, litigation will bring hard feelings because it was important enough for someone to have their case heard. It was important to win and be right.

The court officer brought us to a small stuffy room and briefed us on the paperwork to be filled out and promptly left. Once inside the energy was high with each of us handling the pictures again. It was exciting to collaborate and join together as a group. Juror 1, the plaintiff wasn’t believable, Juror 2, the damage on the vehicles show the defendant did nothing wrong, Juror 3 the plaintiff was not cooperating with the line of questioning. Juror 4, they hooked onto each other so the plaintiff had to be in the center lane moving to the right. Juror 5, the pictures show the truth, Juror 6, The defendant  was bumped by the plaintiff sending them into the tree and sidewalk.

I felt sad to pick one over the other because both sides and their attorneys were nice guys and in a perfect world, in my world, there would have been a compromise. But in this sad reality we had to objectively pick a winner. So we did pick  in favor of the defendant unanimously.

Here I have come full circle when I remember the cases I testified on. I won each case and was a believable witness because I told the truth and sought justice. The jury that heard my cases listened to me the same way I listened to this case. Those jury panels were more important than I gave them credit for and I truly appreciate their time and effort and I know my time and effort was deeply appreciated too.

Jury duty may be your civil duty, and despite the temporary inconvenience, you are helping all parties involved to get justice, you help the attorneys service their clients and you have mediated justice in a lawful and objective way. And done so without any pre-qualifications but only as the law states: Trial by an impartial jury. Period

The next time you are called for Jury Duty don’t look at it as a time waster, look at it as a service to someone who needs your help in getting justice. It’s good Karma and you never know when you may need a jury to help you too.

Thoughful Thursdays #63 Control Freaks

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It is normal to want to control your life. But we all know those control freaks that want their way all the time with you. They want to decide what to do and when. They have a need to run the show at all times. Even their conversations or behavior demands their needs be met and yours don’t matter. If you don’t meet their needs they are unhappy and you will hear about it.

As a control freak it must be hard to control your own life and the lives of others. I imagine at the end of the day they are exhausted. Control freak thinking and behavior leads to a bunch of personality disorders like obsessive compulsive disorder, not trusting anyone and failure to make commitments to anyone.

The reason why someone is a control freak is because they are hiding from themselves. Hiding from their own feelings. They think they have secrets that can’t be exposed. Flaws that they are embarrassed of, terrified of being vulnerable and feel helplessness and hopeless.

Control freaks think the only way to protect themselves it to control every part of their life and that includes relationships, even close relationships. In an odd way controlling creates a sense of order and stability. Control freaks are critical and judgmental of their lovers, and just about everybody else.

Control freaks are defending against their own anxiety, their own feelings of helplessness. Controlling gives a way of not feeling hopeless. The more they use control tactics the more they feel they are managing their lives in an effective manner.

To let go of control would mean the same as being victimized and overwhelmed. When that happens they become angry, panicked, possibly threatening then they can dip deep into emotional despair and depression.

If you are on the receiving end of a control freak don’t take it personally, but be advised, the control freak is really good at distorting reality, can be intimidating and are excellent debaters. They are more frightened than most and on some level feel they need to control you to make themselves feel better. It is only a way of protecting themselves. They are frightened and angry and controlling has become a compulsion and way of life.

If you are a control freak it’s OK. You are trying to protect yourself and have forgotten the negative effects of controlling has on those who care about you. You are not bad or unimportant. You are just frightened. You can take the risk to trust yourself and risk letting life unfold the way it is meant to be. You can be at peace and clear headed. You can stop worrying. What you think is a threat may no longer exist. It may be time to feel again, feel the energy of freedom. Free to be yourself, free to make choices and not hide behind manipulation. In the long run controlling pushes away the very situations you need to grow.

Wanting to control your life is normal. Keep the focus on controlling your own whereabouts, your own struggles, your own health and well-being, your own improvements and leave the rest alone. You are safe and there is no need to control things that are time wasters.

The are no quick fixes for controlling, change happens slowly. You will be amazed at the results if you know you can choose to be free from obsessing about anything. Be patient and keep trying. You will not be disappointed.

Detachment repost from July 6, 2014

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Detachment And Other Stuff

I had a disappointing situation this weekend. I had wonderful plans that were thoughtlessly canceled. That led me to spiral down the all too familiar slippery slopes of despair. The disappointment was a reminder of a past belief that no one can be trusted. That is something that drives me crazy: someone you can”t trust. Say what you mean and mean what you say. But was that belief the truth?

I tried to find a way to cope with the situation. Especially since I have a tendency to over react at times like these by turning my emotions viciously into gut wrenching personal attacks on myself.

I needed to stop. It took about half a day of ping ponging between being furious at not having control over the situation to remembering I need to detach to get perspective.

Detachment , to me, is allowing situations unfold or fold up in their own given time. I am reminded that it is not my timing that make things work out for the best. It is not my controlling or fussing that makes things go any faster. However I find waiting really frustrating. I want things my way and now. Well, that is the nasty co dependent, needy side of me speaking.

The nasty co dependent, needy side of me reeks havoc on my life and relationships and especially my thoughts. Co dependency is a product of my past but still alive and well living in the outskirts of my subconscious, waiting to destroy what ever I perceive as a hurt.

What is the truth behind all of this?

1. It is my beliefs and thoughts that are causing my own grief. Yes, I have the right to be disappointed but having my thoughts whirl around like a squirrel in a cage is maddening and extremely unhelpful.

2. Things don’t always go as planned. I forgot this one. Sometimes it’s just a matter of a misunderstanding and perhaps a readjustment. Or not the right time. Or not in my best interest.

3. I can’t control what others do. It is not the end of the world if someone disappoints me. Other peoples poor behavior is a reflection on them not on me.

4. People are not always loving all the time. This is an opportunity to say Ouch at the disappointment but remain open, peaceful and hopeful with the situation.

5. Time always reveals the truth behind what ever is going on, whether I like it or not.

6. All situations are mirrors of what I need to take a look at. Interactions with others bring up feelings. Believe it or not people don’t cause feelings. The feelings that come up belong to me.

I ask these questions:

What would it be like if I made the effort not to think about these perceived offences?

What would it be like if I made the effort to stop the rushing negative thoughts?

What would it be like if I said yes to everything as a form of acceptance?

What would it be like if I practiced being really strong for myself for a change?

What would it be like if I made the effort to improve only my life by examining my own behavior?

What would it be like if I remembered just how darn lucky I am to realize that all situations are unfolding as they need to?

What would it be like if I remembered just how lucky I am to change myself?

I know that as time passes my feelings will subside and clarity will come forward. I will learn what I need to learn and move on. If I have not learned the lesson a similar situation will come up and I will be given the chance to examine myself again.

It is my good fortune and luck to be awake and aware enough not to crawl under a rock and hide from life’s ups and downs.

It is my good fortune and luck to not hide behind any distraction and sit with the pain however uncomfortable it is.

It is compassionate and rewarding to experience suffering to understand what others might experience. Here is the miracle of connection.

From my suffering I can relate to another’s suffering. I know the comfort I need so I can comfort another.

How fortunate to get to the point of letting it go. That does not mean I am not disappointed. I am just not going to invest any more emotional energy on it. I am releasing my attention to what happened.

Here is the crux of the situation. The arduous climb, the crucial point. Here is my chance to mature and be a positive influence to the world at large.

I thank all that were involved in aggravating me. This is another chance for me to get to know who I am.

You are my teacher and I am truly grateful.

Quit List

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Quitting is not a bad thing especially if its quitting bad stuff.

Here is my personal quit list.

It’s just a start.

Ready, get set, QUIT !

1.   Quit allowing my emotions run my life. Detachment is better.

2.   Quit procrastinating. Start fearless actions in improvement.

3.   Quit obsessing about things that are none of my business. Focus on what matters only to my improvement.

 4.   Quit being blind to my own self sabotage. Refuse to fall asleep on my behavior.

5.   Quit isolating myself. Make enormous effort to be in the world.

6.   Quit not speaking my mind. Speak up when appropriate and not hold back.

7.   Quit being judgmental to anyone. There is always a lesson there.

8.   Quit refusing to change. Say yes to everything.

9.   Quit refusing to push myself. I know there is more I can do.

10. Quit holding myself back. I forgot how to be really powerful.

11. Quit believing I am trapped. I am not helpless.

12. Quit believing life is hopeless. It is no where near hopeless.

13. Quit copying a life I really don’t want. Be original

Watch out world – I’m back to myself again.

What is your quit list?

If you can quit just one thing that holds you back do it today.