Tag Archives: acceptance

Aug8

Detachment repost from July 6, 2014

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Detachment And Other Stuff

I had a disappointing situation this weekend. I had wonderful plans that were thoughtlessly canceled. That led me to spiral down the all too familiar slippery slopes of despair. The disappointment was a reminder of a past belief that no one can be trusted. That is something that drives me crazy: someone you can”t trust. Say what you mean and mean what you say. But was that belief the truth?

I tried to find a way to cope with the situation. Especially since I have a tendency to over react at times like these by turning my emotions viciously into gut wrenching personal attacks on myself.

I needed to stop. It took about half a day of ping ponging between being furious at not having control over the situation to remembering I need to detach to get perspective.

Detachment , to me, is allowing situations unfold or fold up in their own given time. I am reminded that it is not my timing that make things work out for the best. It is not my controlling or fussing that makes things go any faster. However I find waiting really frustrating. I want things my way and now. Well, that is the nasty co dependent, needy side of me speaking.

The nasty co dependent, needy side of me reeks havoc on my life and relationships and especially my thoughts. Co dependency is a product of my past but still alive and well living in the outskirts of my subconscious, waiting to destroy what ever I perceive as a hurt.

What is the truth behind all of this?

1. It is my beliefs and thoughts that are causing my own grief. Yes, I have the right to be disappointed but having my thoughts whirl around like a squirrel in a cage is maddening and extremely unhelpful.

2. Things don’t always go as planned. I forgot this one. Sometimes it’s just a matter of a misunderstanding and perhaps a readjustment. Or not the right time. Or not in my best interest.

3. I can’t control what others do. It is not the end of the world if someone disappoints me. Other peoples poor behavior is a reflection on them not on me.

4. People are not always loving all the time. This is an opportunity to say Ouch at the disappointment but remain open, peaceful and hopeful with the situation.

5. Time always reveals the truth behind what ever is going on, whether I like it or not.

6. All situations are mirrors of what I need to take a look at. Interactions with others bring up feelings. Believe it or not people don’t cause feelings. The feelings that come up belong to me.

I ask these questions:

What would it be like if I made the effort not to think about these perceived offences?

What would it be like if I made the effort to stop the rushing negative thoughts?

What would it be like if I said yes to everything as a form of acceptance?

What would it be like if I practiced being really strong for myself for a change?

What would it be like if I made the effort to improve only my life by examining my own behavior?

What would it be like if I remembered just how darn lucky I am to realize that all situations are unfolding as they need to?

What would it be like if I remembered just how lucky I am to change myself?

I know that as time passes my feelings will subside and clarity will come forward. I will learn what I need to learn and move on. If I have not learned the lesson a similar situation will come up and I will be given the chance to examine myself again.

It is my good fortune and luck to be awake and aware enough not to crawl under a rock and hide from life’s ups and downs.

It is my good fortune and luck to not hide behind any distraction and sit with the pain however uncomfortable it is.

It is compassionate and rewarding to experience suffering to understand what others might experience. Here is the miracle of connection.

From my suffering I can relate to another’s suffering. I know the comfort I need so I can comfort another.

How fortunate to get to the point of letting it go. That does not mean I am not disappointed. I am just not going to invest any more emotional energy on it. I am releasing my attention to what happened.

Here is the crux of the situation. The arduous climb, the crucial point. Here is my chance to mature and be a positive influence to the world at large.

I thank all that were involved in aggravating me. This is another chance for me to get to know who I am.

You are my teacher and I am truly grateful.

Aug7

Inner Demons

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I stopped fighting

my inner demons.

I accept them

and

love them

for who

they are.

Those cute little devils.

g. piazza

Aug6

Out of the Darkness

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Out of the darkness
into the sea
there is our future
our destiny

Clamoring for closeness
under the bridge
into the hedges
a brick wall lives

Out of the darkness
the shadows dwell
with all the answers
we seek of hell
the healing, the wishes,
the desire for flame
here it is under the same
here it is without the blame
under my skin
and in my veins
bloody vines ride up my spine
I remember the time
when just light existed
in my mind
now there is both the dark and the light
living together with all their might

g.piazza

Jul29

Honesty

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Honesty is painful.

Especially when you don’t want to hear it.

g. piazza

Jul29

Codependents Control Patterns

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Codependents often…………………

 

. believe people are incapable of taking care of themselves

. attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel

. freely offer advice and direction without being asked

. become resentful when others decline their help or reject their advice

. lavish gifts and favors on those they want to influence

. use sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance

. have to feel needed in order to have a relationship with others

. demand that their needs be met by others

. use blame and shame to exploit others emotionally

. refuse to cooperate, compromise or negotiate

. adopt an attitude to indifference, helplessness, authority or rage to manipulate outcomes

. use recovery jargon in an attempt to control the behavior of others

. pretend to agree with others to get what they want

 

from CODA.org

 

 

 

Jul24

Thoughful Thursdays #61- How To Stop Worrying

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Worry is the mother of procrastination. Worry paralyzes, warps and misinforms our already overloaded minds. Here is a simple two step solution to stop worrying.

Accept how you are feeling at the moment.

Accept what is going on at the moment.

As you accept your feelings and environment the truth will be revealed, what you don’t need will fall away automatically, what you need will come to you effortlessly.

g. piazza

Jul24

12 Little Known Laws of Karma That Will Change Your Life

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What is Karma?

Karma is the Sanskrit word for action. It is equivalent to Newton’s law of ‘every action must have a reaction’. When we think, speak or act we initiate a force that will react accordingly. This returning force maybe modified, changed or suspended, but most people will not be able eradicate it.

This law of cause and effect is not punishment, but is wholly for the sake of education or learning.

A person may not escape the consequences of his actions, but he will suffer only if he himself has made the conditions ripe for his suffering. Ignorance of the law is no excuse whether the laws are man-made or universal.

To stop being afraid and to start being empowered in the worlds of karma and reincarnation, here is what you need to know about karmic laws.

1. THE GREAT LAW

– “As you sow, so shall you reap”. This is also known as the “Law of Cause and Effect”.
– Whatever we put out in the Universe is what comes back to us.
– If what we want is Happiness, Peace, Love, Friendship… Then we should BE Happy, Peaceful, Loving and a True Friend.

2. THE LAW OF CREATION

– Life doesn’t just HAPPEN, it requires our participation.
– We are one with the Universe, both inside and out.
– Whatever surrounds us gives us clues to our inner state.
– BE yourself, and surround yourself with what you want to have present in your Life.

3. THE LAW OF HUMILITY

– What you refuse to accept, will continue for you.
– If what we see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait that we find to be negative, then we ourselves are not focused on a higher level of existence.

4. THE LAW OF GROWTH

– “Wherever you go, there you are”.
– For us to GROW in Spirit, it is we who must change – and not the people, places or things around us.
– The only given we have in our lives is OURSELVES and that is the only factor we have control over.
– When we change who and what we are within our heart our life follows suit and changes too.
5. THE LAW OF RESPONSIBILITY

– Whenever there is something wrong in my life, there is something wrong in me.
– We mirror what surrounds us – and what surrounds us mirrors us; this is a Universal Truth.
– We must take responsibility what is in our life.

6.THE LAW OF CONNECTION

– Even if something we do seems inconsequential, it is very important that it gets done as everything in the Universe is connected.
– Each step leads to the next step, and so forth and so on.
– Someone must do the initial work to get a job done.
– Neither the first step nor the last are of greater significance,
– As they were both needed to accomplish the task.
– Past-Present-Future they are all connected…

7. THE LAW OF FOCUS

– You can not think of two things at the same time.
– When our focus is on Spiritual Values, it is impossible for us to have lower thoughts such as greed or anger.

8. THE LAW OF GIVING AND HOSPITALITY

– If you believe something to be true,then sometime in your life you will be called upon to demonstrate that particular truth.
– Here is where we put what we CLAIM that we have learned, into actual

9. PRACTICE. THE LAW OF HERE AND NOW

– Looking backward to examine what was, prevents us from being totally in the HERE AND NOW.
– Old thoughts, old patterns of behavior, old dreams…
– Prevent us from having new ones.

10. THE LAW OF CHANGE

– History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.

11. THE LAW OF PATIENCE AND REWARD

– All Rewards require initial toil.
– Rewards of lasting value require patient and persistent toil.
– True joy follows doing what we’re suppose to be doing, and waiting for the reward to come in on its own time.

12. THE LAW OF SIGNIFICANCE AND INSPIRATION

– You get back from something whatever YOU have put into it.
– The true value of something is a direct result of the energy and intent that is put into it.
– Every personal contribution is also a contribution to the Whole.
– Lack luster contributions have no impact on the Whole, nor do they work to diminish it.
– Loving contributions bring life to, and inspire, the Whole.

From Spirit Science and Metaphysics

May8

Thoughtful Thursdays #58 Compassion and Blame

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I realized something profound today. I was blamed as the cause of someones pain. I don’t remember causing this person so much pain. Even though I don’t remember I am willing to accept the blame 100% because it frees them. It brings them freedom to get rid of a burden and move forward.

This the most compassionate thing I can do.

I will cease being defensive and accept this persons

pain. I offer my pain and theirs for all that suffer

the same problems.

g.piazza

Mar24

Abraham – from the Bible

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Abraham, from the Bible, approached his day differently. Every time he met with aggression, every time he met with people that sought to do him harm. every time he ran up against a wall, he would say:

“I accept this situation for what it is, and instead of letting it victimize me, i will transform it into something positive”.

Excerpt from Karen Berg: Daily Consciousness:Finding Spirituality

Maybe we could do the same thing.

Try it.

Sep25

Affirmations #17 Relationships

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In my life, I attract only those people who are in sync with me and who love me unconditionally.

I love my children unconditionally and accept them as they are.

I love my children unconditionally and accept them as they are.

My brother/sister and I are a perfect foil for each other. We love, respect and appreciate each other always.

My life partner/lover and I are soul mates. We compliment each other, respect each other and love each other immensely.

I am a model student. My teachers are the best. I love them and their teaching.

self-help-and-self-development.com

Peaceful relationships are very important. No one wants burdensome relationships. Feel free to change around the words to make the affirmations believable and accommodating to your relationships

Write them 10 times each, say them many times during the day especially in the morning and bedtime. Also say them in the mirror.