Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Jun20

Thoughtful Thursdays #21

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I smell liar and backstabber, and sneakiness in the air. When that smell gets on a person it never goes away. Has anyone lied to you and back-stabbed you? They smell really bad, don’t they? Rest easy it happens to everyone at sometime or another. Let’s say the damage is done, this person you trusted pulled the rug right out from under you. Turned others against you. Slam, splat your life has just melted into warm Jell-O. This person will not communicate or answer any questions. Just turned their back on you. Walked away, smug and strangely entertained by your reactions. You didn’t know they were using you. You were honest and helping and trusting. Their motives were hidden. This person has some definite sociopath issues. Unfeeling, unaware of what their actions did to you. What’s the next step?

1.Damage control. Stop all communication with this person and anyone who might be on their side.

2. Assess the damage. Such as, find out what they might be saying or doing that involves you. Take necessary steps to stop it.

3. Take time away from the situation. Go for a walk. Talk it out, write it out. Take care of yourself first.

4. Be as objective as possible. As time goes on clarity will reveal the truth and the next step. Be as unemotional as possible. It’s OK to feel, but too much emotions muddies up clarity.

5. Time will pass and the situation and damage will end.

6. Keep the focus on your own self-improvement. This helps move your life forward by maturing and getting smarter about relationships.

Sorry for the pain. But you are a better person than that bad smelling one. And besides, if someone feels the need to tear you down, best you know you are already above him or her.

Happy improving.

Jun13

Thoughtful Thursdays #20

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There are many kinds of Creativity. Here are just a few. Give your own Creativity a try today.

1. Creativity heals broken minds. Read up on Creative Arts Therapy.
2. Tell a story you need to hear.
3. Paint a picture in your own style.
4. Boil a tasty soup to warm your insides.
5. Sew up some brand new pretty clothes.
6. Crochet a cozy blanket.
7. Take lots of pictures with your camera or cell phone.
8. Write your life story.
9. Learn a musical instrument, even if it’s a recorder. (Remember those?)
10. Some sturdy string and beads will make a simple bracelet or ring.
11. Try a new recipe.

There are countless ways to be creative. Find one thing that makes you happy and do it. You will gain confidence and be proud of yourself. Any creative activity will strengthen your brain and help you improve your problem solving ability. Go ahead, give it a try.

Happy creating.

Jun6

Thoughtful Thursdays #19

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20 Reasons to smile about life:

1. Dogs, cats, birds, animals.
2. Breathing, you wouldn’t get very far without it.
3. You woke up, start something new.
4. Sun, moon, stars are free for us to enjoy.
5. Other people, even the good, bad and ugly.
6. Children, all of them even if they are not yours.
7. Walking in any form calms the mind.
8. Trees because they purify the air
9. Internet, the world at your fingertips.
10. Books, stories new worlds to explore.
11. Your mind, it can solve all problems.
12. Money makes life comfortable.
13. Food, chocolate, coffee, tea make the world go around.
14. Inventions are the result of progress.
15. Science unfolds previous mysteries.
16. Art is the expression of the universe.
17. Bodies, exercise, enjoy the physical world.
18. Flowers smell sweet and look breathtaking.
19. Clocks are tick tock-ing time away.
20. Colors are infinite.

OK there are a few more than 20 here because there are many more reasons to smile about life.

Like sewing, amusement parks, cars, sleeping, laughing, honey.

Leave a comment and add to the list.

Happy Smiling.

May30

Thoughtful Thursdays #18

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Decisions

Sometimes it’s easy to make decisions. Like what to wear or cook or movie to see. Sometimes it’s really difficult to decide especially when there is no guarantee in the outcome. For example, getting a new job or opening a business. Getting a new job is easier because it’s predictable, structured and basically secure. Opening a business is risky, unpredictable and not a sure thing.

Some decisions are unavoidable. Like going to the dentist because you have a toothache. You will go to to the dentist to get rid of the pain. Ah ha, Pain, maybe that’s why decisions become difficult because they cause pain/uncertainty. Decisions are easy to avoid when they are uncertain so we ignore decision making until there is so much pain that a decision has to be made.

What is the cure for easier decision making?

Make a decision in any direction because the process of going into a new direction will bring you to your desired destination.

And that’s a good thing.

May16

Do It Yourself World

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This is a very DIY (Do It Yourself)world. That’s kind of scary. What do I mean by that. Living and working used to fit into nice, comfy, predictable molds. All you had to do is find where you fit in. A company, a role, a field of interest. But all that has changed. Like it or not life and working has become a DIY project. For example: in today’s world the jobs that provided security are few and difficult to get and are their criteria is ever changing. Life styles are changing so fast that almost anything is acceptable as a new way of co-habitation. Which leads us to find alternate ways of living and working.

But what happens when Doing It Yourself is not clear. There are thousands of books to read and thousands of people who will try to help with their view of any given situation. It’s human nature to find a place to fit in. How about fitting in with a DIY culture. It’s a different and unclear way of finding your way until you have reached a destination just for you.

If you have expressed, in your world, that you want to be an artist, or baker or writer or a doctor or anthropologist or business owner and the reaction you get is negative.

STOP expressing those interests to those who are not willing to support you. FIND those who will support you. MOVE towards what you really want to do. DON’T waste precious time looking for approval from those who have no idea or interest in who you are. That includes family, teachers, bosses, friends or anyone who is clueless about you. Do It Yourself means to Be Yourself Always.

It won’t be easy until you Do Your Own Life. Decide to have your own life and wish well to those who are not on the same path as you. You will end up being an inspiration to the naysayers. You will finally respect yourself and others will respect your for having the courage to create your own life. You will end up making your own kind of security and life style extraordinaire. And be truly happy.

Happy Doing It Yourself and Being Yourself.

May16

Thoughtful Thursdays #16

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Once you decide, really, really decide on what you want synchronicity sets in. Doors will open, opportunities will appear and your decision to decide on what you really want will have become a reality.

Easy to say, easy to understand but so hard to decide. The culprit to deciding is distractions. It’s quite normal to have your attention on what you are doing at any given moment. For example, when driving. If you are not focused on your driving you may have an accident. But what about all those ideas in your head, the things you want to do and say and experience.

Here’s a very simple way of accomplishing those things you want to do and say and experience in three easy steps.

Step 1. Write a list of any and everything you want in any area of your interest. Nothing is off limits. Write everything down. Refer to it frequently.

Step 2. Pick one thing and do it. Just one thing. Do this one thing from start to finish. At this point it’s easy to get carried away categorizing. Resist the urge to do that. Just do one thing in the beginning. As you feel more able to do more then do it. The idea here is to not be overwhelmed by all the stuff you want to do.

Step 3. Give yourself credit for doing just one thing on your list. Check off what you have done and move to the next. At this point you can add more or delete what is not really that important.

Maybe there’s really big stuff you want to do. If it’s seems too much then break it down to steps.

Don’t give up. There will always be distractions and waves of winding paths. But that’s life and its constant changing occurrences. You are in this life to DO, to SAY, to EXPERIENCE.

So Just Do It.

Happy doing.

Apr28

Ending Relationships

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What a touchy subject. Sometimes we end relationships or the other ends relationships. The relationship could be personal or casual or business. Either way its difficult. Emotions are usually raw especially if the ending is unexpected. Actually even if it is remotely expected the end still hurts. I wouldn’t even begin to say ” I know what you are going through because I went through it too” ( I have been through it many times) because reactions are as unique as the individuals involved. But there are some common characteristics in each ending.

Endings are:
Sad, Mad, Angry, Heavy, overwhelming.
A sudden growth spurt in letting go.
About growing up.
A show of strength and character.
Not the end of the world even it may seem so.
Endings are about closure on the stuff you don’t need.
It’s a time out to examine what happened.
About learning detachment.
Take a look at what worked and leave the rest.

I’m sure there may be more but in the end the bad time is guaranteed to pass. It may pass quick or slow. But it will pass. A page in your life will turn. There will be many pages turned because change is part of life. So let time pass, seek out supportive people, read encouraging literature, and do whatever it takes to heal.

Peace

Mar7

Thoughtful Thursdays #14

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Expectations:

I’ve always disagreed with the expression ” Have no expectations of anyone and you won’t be disappointed” because it sounds so strange. It doesn’t make sense. How can you not have expectations of anyone? That expression would mean never expect the bank teller to get your deposit right. Or not expecting to trust a doctor with your health. But I have recently changed my mind because now I understand the expression a little more deeply. This expression means not to have any expectation of a person to be anything but themselves.

For example, let’s say you know someone who is a thief and a liar. You leave this person alone with your purse and your wallet disappears. You ask where your wallet is and this person lies saying that he/she doesn’t know where your wallet is. Here’s where the expectation comes in. You expected this person to be trustworthy when you knew, on some level, that this person is not trustworthy. This is where disappointment comes in. You forgot the true character of this person. This person is a thief and liar. Unless by some miracle this person changes his/her character all actions will remain that of a thief and liar.

Simply put, don’t expect others to be anything other than who they are and you won’t be disappointed.

It’s good to be hopeful that people are basically good and well intentioned because you can expect the the bank teller and doctor will do their best for you. However, some people are not. It takes time to really get to know who you are dealing with. It’s safer to be detached and slowly get to know the other person.

There is no magic formula to protect yourself from those who are untrustworthy. It is risky to trust others. Sometimes we are desperate to trust someone. But using the skills of detachment, objectivity and trusting your gut will help in deciding if someone is trustworthy. And don’t let fear of being taken advantage of stop you from trusting. Most interactions with others are just fine. But the minute you see or feel something is not right, get out of the situation quickly. Trust yourself first and you will ultimately find the truth of anything.

Peace.

Feb18

Love

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What a loaded subject. There are so many different definitions of love that no one knows for sure what it means. Love is defined as physical attraction, falling in love with the shoes in a department store window, a pet, a person, a lifestyle, an emotion, the list is endless.

I am now going to put an end to all false notions of what love is. Here goes:

Love is an attitude. It’s the choice to be kind hearted even when others are not.

Chew on that for a while.

Feb18

The Holidays are over.

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As much as I like the holidays I am always glad they are over. Too much work, stress and not enough resting. Now it’s back to a regular routine, work, bills and still no rest.

I am not a goal person. I just do what needs to be done and change what needs to be changed. So in the spirit of the new year it’s time for me to re-evaluate what needs to be changed and then just do it.

Happy New Year