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Oct6
I Love Cats
Category Archives: All Posts
Jul25
Down the Rabbit Hole of Self-Discovery: Our Alice Days
Have you ever woken up feeling like a stranger in your own skin? I have. It’s what I call an “Alice Day” – a journey into the wonderland of self-transformation that leaves us dizzy, disoriented, and questioning everything we thought we knew.
Just like Alice in Lewis Carroll’s beloved tale, we find ourselves growing and shrinking in unexpected ways. Our sense of identity becomes as fluid as the Cheshire Cat’s grin, fragmenting and reassembling with each new experience. I remember the day I realized half my opinions weren’t even my own – they were echoes of voices I’d internalized without question. “Who in the world am I?” I asked myself, echoing Alice’s bewilderment.
In our personal Wonderlands, we encounter our own versions of the Mad Hatter, the Queen of Hearts, and the cryptic Caterpillar. They come in the form of challenging relationships, societal expectations, and inner demons that make us question our reality. “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast,” the White Queen boasted. How many impossible beliefs have we swallowed without thinking?
But like Alice, we have tools to maintain our sanity amidst the chaos. Critical thinking becomes our sword, cutting through the nonsense. Adaptability is our shield, protecting us from the onslaught of change. Logic and reason are the breadcrumbs we follow home when we’re lost in the woods of confusion.
I’ve had my share of Alice Days – days when nothing made sense, when I felt like a collection of mismatched puzzle pieces. Perhaps you’ve experienced them too: the disorienting aftermath of a major life change, the vertigo of challenging a long-held belief, or the surreal haze of grief or trauma.
Yet, Alice’s journey teaches us that these days of confusion are not just normal – they’re necessary. They’re the cocoon stages of our personal metamorphosis. “It’s no use going back to yesterday,” Alice realized, “because I was a different person then.” Each Alice Day is an opportunity to shed an old skin, to question, to grow.
Jul25
Ineffable Nature Experience
On a camping trip at the edge of the forest, the sunset was dipping below the horizon. Dusk is the time when deer roam around eating leaves, birds are sleeping, bugs are settling down, bunnies are in burrows, and cicadas are buried in the earth. There was a gentle breeze with the scent of pine and earth. The evening light cast long shadows and bathed everything in a golden glow.
I walked further into the forest and found a clearing with wildflowers of every color and green clover as ground cover. I spotted a crystal-clear stream with waters sparkling in the fading light. The beauty was so overwhelming; it was as if I had entered into a different realm, untouched by human hands or time.
In that moment, I was enveloped and connected to the universe and the vastness of the sky with a sensation so deep that words failed to capture its essence. The feeling of peace, awe, and spiritual reverence for nature took over. It was a fleeting moment, an ineffable experience that will remain in my memory, bones, and blood forever.
Mar1
Shadow
If I hadn’t been so distracted I would not have rented a remote cabin deep in the Catskills Mountains on the edge of thick trees that whisper ancient stories to one another. I needed to concentrate on my writing.
It was a long drive, over two hundred and fifty miles. Alone and feeling unsettled I arrived at the rustically charming cabin. From the outside it looked cozy, safe, warm. My eye caught a flick of a curtain. I dismissed it because I was tired from the drive.
I opened the door. The creaky floorboards and mournful howl of air from the fireplace gave me goose bumps. I shrugged it off and locked the door behind me just in case goblins or elves were about.
It was chilly and noticed there were plenty of supplies of wood and kindling and matches to start a fire. The sun was setting and the night air was in so a fire would warm up the cabin in no time.
I settled in and began writing with pen as paper, writing the old fashioned way. I concentrate better this way. Trying to focus I felt a creepy, strange, prickling awareness like electricity flash up my back. Glancing up from my paper I could feel someone watching me yet I could see nothing. I froze.
Shadows cast from the raging fire burst onto the walls. One shadow did not move. It was like ink and pulsated and seemed to squirm and twitch. This shadow had no beginning or end. Didn’t bend, it was just there watching me.
Suddenly the shadow dislodged and took the shape of a long, lanky silhouette of a man with morphed edges that were thin and undefined.
I was terrified; it had no eyes, only black holes.
Instantly the air was bitter cold and very dark in spite of the blazing fire. Silence except for the crackles of burning wood. I heard a voice.
“Who are you? Why are you in my home?” it barked.
I grabbed my phone and put the flashlight on and aimed at the figure.
It shrieked as if the light burned it. The figure twisted in agony then disappeared into nothing.
I didn’t sleep, hours passed and dawn rose with a pink glow. I didn’t stay any longer. Whatever that thing was I was not going to hang around to find out.
Driving away I could see a dark figure lingering in the window. Lightly flicking the curtain.
That thing, that dark shadow stained me and would forever be in my memories. A secret, chilling true testament and mystery of the trees that tell ancient stories to one another about dead men with no names and dark shadows of long ago.
Feb5
Kite Flying
Kite Flying
Years ago, on our frequent visits to the beach we would fly kites. This was long before kite flying was banned by the parks department as hazardous.
One time I had a red kite with a long yellow tail. It wasn’t very big maybe about two feet by two feet. Anything bigger would be too much to carry along with our beach gear.
It was windy. So windy that it was hard to launch and hold on to the thin rope of my kite. With the sun blaring on my back and the wind slapping me in the face and my kite zipping and zagging I fell over a seashell. Ouch. I let go of my kite rope and felt the pain in my knee.
I watched my poor kite being taken out to sea blowing heartily along.
I was sad and imagined that sea creatures would lug it back to me. No such luck. The kite sank and was never seen again.
There was nothing I could do but to save my pennies and buy a new kite at the Woolworths.
I lay on the blue blanket under the violet umbrella and took a nap. I felt better when I woke up, dipped my toes in the wavy ocean and enjoyed the rest of the day.
I will have a new kite next time we come here and start all over again.
Jan31
Thoughtful Thursday #245 – Internalizing Emotional Pain
Internalized emotional pain is personal slavery and a prim and proper intimate prison in your mind. It’s where we have been triggered and swallowed emotional pain for any number of reasons. Maybe we have been betrayed by someone you trusted, or out of the blue you were the target of cruelty, perhaps you have been the object of someone’s dysfunctional projections, and the result is you feel a life situation has crushed you.
We can recognize how we have internalized emotional pain. We have excessive worry, over indulge in social media, phantom physical sensations, venting at others expense, wanting to retaliate, self-destructive behaviors, your self-esteem is nowhere in sight, there’s a presence of anxiety, sadness, and social isolation, we blow up over nothing.
This is a painful way to live, very painful, I understand how it feels, and no one is immune internalizing emotional pain.
If you are struggling with sorting out emotional pain, hang in there, initially the pain may be too much, that’s OK, take some time to process what has happened.
Practice self-care: acknowledge what happened, save yourself from further pain, summon up compassion for yourself, internalizing emotional pain does not make you tough, confrontation may be appropriate but do it with a calm voice, find someone who will listen to you unconditionally, write it out on a piece of paper, write every last emotion and detail, find whatever you need to bring a sense of groundedness and peace back to your mind, look within yourself for an answer that works for you.
In time the pain will pass, that’s the beauty of time and self-care and perhaps you will learn that you are really very strong and can be grow internally and handle the next situation with self-protection and authority as the mighty, capable person that your are.
Jan25
Thoughtful Thursdays #197 – Art
Art can be many things, for example, like painting, writing, singing, cooking, fashion, music, etc. Creativity in the arts is subjective. The beauty or chaos of the creation belongs to the beholder.
There is a place in this world for everyone’s creations. There is someone or many someones that will resonate with what you create. Whether it’s a painting or an article or a cake, there will be those that love it.
Therefore, as creative creatures we must never give up in creating and sharing our creations with the world at large. Share your creations on a blog, on Facebook, your family, friends or neighbors. Share what you have, someone needs to see it, perhaps to brighten their day.
And if you get a negative remark on your creation, just brush it off. Remarks are from those who are either jealous, out of touch with the beauty in any creation, or just plain miserable. Don’t let that bring you down. Keep creating and keep showing.
The world needs your creativity.
Oct26
Thoughtful Thursdays #184 – Inner World – Outer World
We all have an inner and outer world. In our head there are so many thoughts and voices it’s hard to identify which way is the most effective way.
We all have an outer world that reflects your inner world. The mess, confusion, the paralysis.
How to get the both in sync is to find your way of grounding yourself.
To start: In whatever task you are doing direct your thoughts to the present moment.
For example: I am washing the dishes, I am cutting an onion, I am driving my car, I am walking the dog. Bring attention to your breathing. Let the thoughts come with no judgement. Don’t judge yourself either.
The idea is to get out of your head for a little while and find a sense of peace away from racing thoughts and impulsive actions.
Your inner world and outer world will thank you for the peace.
Jul20
Thoughtful Thursdays # 171 – You Are So Crazy
I have been told that many times when I speak up for myself. I refuse to be mistreated. Period.
I find those who do attempt to mistreat me are showing me their true feelings about themselves. Which is not my problem. I remind them of their own unresolved issues. The haters will try to destroy me because I have the courage to be me. And they don’t have that courage.
I will not allow anyone to crush my voice. I am the lucky one who is awake enough to live my own authentic life.
You can live an authentic life too. Let no one bury you in shame or hate or confusion. Your voice and way of being is not easy but so worth fighting for and the bonus is you are a guiding light for someone else.
Let’s celebrate being the Crazy One, the Unique One, the Courageous One, the Happy One.
Carry on.
Jun8
Thoughtful Thursdays # 166 – Roles
We all play a number of roles during the day. Co-worker, parent, helper, listener, child, adult etc.
We play so many roles we forget to authentic.
We are authentic when we are truly ourselves with no fear of judgement.
It’s better to be your honest self because you will be happier and a better role model for others to be authentic too.
purelysimplewords 