Self sabotage comes in many forms.
We can become hyper aware because we have been dealing with unreliable people for a long time and we expect things to go wrong.
We can get in the habit of not making commitments because those we trusted thwarted all that we loved.
We may want to be unseen because any attention means possible abuse.
We may people please to keep us safe at the expense of our own needs.
We may want to control everything just to feel safe enough to exist.
There are many more ways to self sabotage but the reason why we do that is because there are unresolved issues just under the surface of our awareness and our self sabotage keeps us distracted enough not to feel those feelings.
Self sabotage is a coping method and that is OK until you are in a place to look at those feelings and release them.
It’s not easy but with some kindness and compassion for yourself you will gradually let go of self sabotaging behavior.