The School of Life interpretation on Attachment Style.
May29
Thoughtful Thursday #303 – Attachment Style
The School of Life interpretation on Attachment Style.
Tag Archives: Your Life’s Work
Apr30
Thoughtful Thursday #299 – Recovering from Covid 19
I have Covid 19 and I am recovering, I had fever, aches and pains, fatigue, migraines, loss of smell and taste. Most of my symptoms are gone except for the loss of smell and taste.
This illness wiped me out for nearly 4 weeks, I caught it because a family member was infected first, this illness is very slow moving and not much relieves the symptoms expect for Tylenol and vitamins like C and lots of zinc.
I am lucky, as bad as my symptoms got I did not end up in the hospital.
We are not out of the woods yet, please follow the CDC guidelines and take this illness seriously.
Stay safe.
Apr9
Thoughtful Thursday #298 – Coronavirus and Panic
Coronavirus pandemic is causing tremendous panic to everyone. People are hoarding essentials, emptying grocery shelves, and businesses are overcharging for safety material. That is more than enough to cause a panic in addition to the possiblity in catching the coronavirus.
Panic is a natural response to what is happening, there is a sense of loss in many areas, our normal routines, restricted freedom, minimum socializing, noticing stores are overcharging for everything, this is to name a few losses.
It’s OK, this is a temporary situation and at this point we are entrenched in this new norm and many of us are thinking about all the possibilities that can occur when this is over.
Self care is most important during this time. Do what it takes to get grounded and calm, look at happy movies and videos, turn off the news, reach out to others on social media, find a way to get peaceful and connected. And follow the CDC guidelines.
We will come out of this, this is guaranteed, so in this period of isolation be creative in your self care.
Stay safe and well.
Apr2
Thoughtful Thursday #297 – Attachment Trauma and Injuries
There are a number of attachment styles that people adopt. Anxious, Avoidant, Secure, Dismissive. These are the four major styles, You can look up the details on Google.
Attachment injuries come from mostly from family of origin issues.
How do you know you have an attachment issue, your relationships are not working, you feel invisible, you are not getting your needs met, you are allowing others to sabotage and abuse you somehow.
This is heavy stuff so I want to share an expert Attachment Trauma, relationship coach and Psychotherapist Alan Robarge, Here’s a video explaining this issue.
Hope you find it healing.
Mar27
Thoughtful Thursday #296 – Coronavirus
Most of the United States is on lock down to flatten the curve of the Coronavirus.
Please follow the authorities directive, it could save your life.
In the meantime if you are anxious and fearful and concerned about your mental health please reach out to a mental health professional. Check in your area or call your local hospital for a referral. Or find resources online.
Stay home, if you don’t feel well reach out to a doctor. This will all be over in a few weeks.
I hope all of you are well and stay well.
Mar6
Thoughtful Thursday #294 – Internal Family System
This is a therapy model created by Dr. Richard Schwartz and he wrote a book on it. I personally have benefitted from this model and I am passing this miracle of transformation to you. It’s the premise that we are all split into different personalities based on good times and traumatic times and how we are not fully integrated. It is similar to multiple personalities but the difference between being a multiple and non integrated is that a multiple has no awareness of its various parts whereas someone who is not fully intergrated is aware. For example, have you ever done something stupid and said to yourself “why did I do that?’ It’s because there is a part who based on it’s past acted out.
Everyone on the planet is not fully integrated because we all have issues. It does not matter where the issues came from, what is important is that we heal them and the Internal Family System is very helpful. I encourage you to check it out for yourself.
Here’s an article from betterhelp.com that explains the Internal Family system.
A very helpful FB page is “Beating Trauma with Elisabeth Corey” is based closely to the IFS model too.
Also watch the children’s movie “Inside Out” it is based on this model.
Here’s a link explaining the movie.
There is nothing more important than our mental and physical health. Take advantage of all resources in growing as the whole person you are meant to be.
Feb27
Thoughtful Thursday #293 – Processing Emotions
This poster is from the Gottman Institute on how to process difficult emotions. This poster is just another tool in your toolbox for promoting good mental health.
You’re welcome.
Carry on.
Feb21
Thoughtful Thursday #292 – Why Do You Attract The Same Negative Relationships
It is so frustrating going from relationship to relationship, all kinds of relationships that don’t work, jobs, friends, significant others, over and over. There is an answer.
At some point you learned unhealthy thought and action patterns from repeated emotional and/or physical abuse learned as love.
As a result we recreate those primary relationships so we can heal them and make us feel better in return. It doesn’t work, we repeat the patterns unconsciously, and you may need great mindfulness and therapy.
Dr. Tracey Marks, psychiatrist, has made an informative video about this subject. Please watch it, you will find truth and healing.
Jan23
Thoughtful Thursday #288 – Others Stories
I was listening to the former Miss America of 1958 Marilyn Van Derbur story who is a survivor of incest. This is not the first time I have listened to her story and I read her book.
I listen to a lot of other people’s personal survivor stories, these stories remind me that I am not the only one in the world who is a survivor of mentally ill caregivers. I am not the only one in the world who has to recover from horrific childhood conditions.
Listening to many courageous folks talk about their trauma experiences and their personal journey to recovery validates my trauma experience and personal recovery journey. And I am sure when I share my story of trauma I am an inspiration also.
I have given speeches and written about my life’s experiences for a long time now and I know I am taking the chance of stigmatizing myself as a victim but that is OK because as long as I can help someone on their own journey of trauma recovery I have done the right thing.
Here’s the takeaway: Share your story, listen to other folds stories that resonate with you. Your life’s story will be an inspiration and upliftment to someone, whether you know the person or not. Sharing your story is one small act of kindness and compassion for yourself and for someone else.
Thanks for reading and thanks for your courage.
Jan2
Thoughtful Thursday #286 – Violence
Violence is the last act of hopelessness.
One believes there is no other response available.
One believes they cannot change their circumstances.
Violence does not solve problems rather it temporarily pushes it away.
There are many factors why one would resort to violence, however, we are thinking beings and we have an enormous capacity to figure things out. Before we lose it and use violence take a moment to walk away, cool down, get help, talk it out, google alternatives to acting out, do something, anything that will keep you safe.
There is no point in dishing out violence if it will put you in jail, or the hospital or have some other negative long term consequences.
Think before you act, whatever you are facing there are always alternatives to violence.
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