Tag Archives: writing

Jan17

Thoughtful Thursday #243 – How To Get Unstuck

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Are you a victim to perfectionism or failure, racing thoughts, numbness, confusion, addictions, inability to trust, poor self talk?

We can treat ourselves in such an awful way by not taking care of ourselves physically and mentally.

Actually mental health is paramount for a successful life.

One way of easing our troubled minds is to ask questions.
Why was I triggered by that comment, why did I slink away from a potential intimate moment, why did I run away so fast that it actually scared me, why did I act that way?

Take a piece of paper or open a word document and start writing every possible scenario, keep going until you can’t think of anything else. By doing this you release all the power of holding these types of concerns in your head.

I guarantee you will be surprised at the insight and peace you experience.  Asking questions to yourself is another tool in your resource box for getting unstuck and have clear mental health.

Jan11

Thoughtful Thursday #242 – Avoidance, Procrastination and Coming Out On The Other Side

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We all avoid and procrastinate actions that we really don’t want to do for a myriad of reasons. Fear, feeling inadequate, uncomfortable with the unknown, anxiety ridden are just a few reasons to avoid an action that could be very beneficial to us.

Let’s look at a scenario, I need to recertify for my job, I procrastinate and think I can just wing the test without studying. I take the test and fail, I can take the test again and I avoid studying again. I fail again. Now I am kicking myself for not studying, at this point my job is on the line and I could suffer ramifications. I feel stupid and embarrassed, what do I do now?

I must step back and seriously study. If there are other resources to help me  I must use them. I can take the test again with confidence and come out on the other side by passing the test.

Coming out on the other side increases my confidence and hopefully I won’t do that again.

I know it’s hard but choosing to take action instead of avoiding and procrastinating will make your life so much easier, less stressful and give you peace of mind.

Jan3

Thoughtful Thursday #241 – Am I Unloveable

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Sometimes our behavior makes us seem unloveable. We get unflattering feedback of our strange behavior and cringe with embarrassment. We get rejected because we seem aloof and unapproachable. Maybe we are single and think we just have not found the right person. Or perhaps we think we need a trip to Tibet to find ourselves. Are we that strange?

A Full Stop is Necessary.

Part of maturity and growing as a person is asking questions.

How am I making my life difficult. We may draw a blank here but keep asking.

How do I react when I am  annoyed, angry, happy.

How do I react when I am tired. Am I difficult around money, what do I worry about. What are my beliefs around sex.

There are tons of questions to ask and none of them are meant to make you feel guilty. The answers to these questions are to make you aware of your own patterns and how others in your life may perceive them, be it annoying or not.

Growing up to be a whole human is not easy but step by step you will become how you are meant to be.

 

Dec27

Thoughtful Thursday #240 – Mind Your Mind

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Paying attention to what you are thinking is an important step in a healthy mind.

Mindyourmind.org has some steps to help you have a healthy mind.

Top 10 Easy, Everyday Ways to Improve Your Mental Health

  1. Spend Time Outdoors
  2. Share a Laugh
  3. Express Gratitude
  4. Get Quality Sleep
  5. Exercise
  6. Dance
  7. Talk (to a friend, to your cat…)
  8. Take a Break
  9. Sing (in a choir, in the shower…)
  10. Your idea here!

From Psychology Today: The mind can sometimes be a wonderful, creative instrument. However usually, the inner dialogue is anything but constructive. Remember – you are not your mind, and never let yourself be tricked by it.

Quote by Denis Avey, Author: The mind is a powerful thing. It can take you through walls.

Buddha: “It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.” “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” “There is nothing so disobedient as an undisciplined mind, and there is nothing so obedient as a disciplined mind.”

We can never stop thinking but we can pay attention to what the chatter is all about and allow us to be a little more detached. Having a healthy mind is a lifelong journey. A journey so worth the effort.

 

Dec13

Thoughtful Thursday #239 – Secret History

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Now hang in there with me as I explain what a secret history is: a secret history is your hidden beliefs.

The beliefs that are not even conscious, the beliefs that come from fear or terror or emotional hurt. Our beliefs try to protect us from being hurt again, You can hear it say, don’t go there, remember what happened last time. Don’t talk to her, she looks mean, Don’t take that risk, you will fail like all the other times. Don’t talk to him, you’re too shy, ugly, dumb, less than everyone else.  On and on these beliefs hold us prisoner and not allowing us to live up to our full potential.

Some beliefs we would never vocalize. It’s too dangerous for anyone to know how we really feel. Some beliefs we go to our graves with.

This is your secret history of  negative beliefs. It’s time to examine them one by one, scary as it is. Perhaps we can reverse the negative beliefs into positive ones.

I am worthy to be in the world, let me smile at her, I can take a tiny risk, it’s OK to fail because it’s a learning experience. I can express my love and feelings without worrying about rejection. What can I do to help someone else.

Hopefully we will be creating a new secret history of positive beliefs and be a light for ourselves and someone who may need it.

Nov29

Thoughtful Thursday #237 – Bad News Good News

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Bad News : trauma recovery work never ends. Trauma stays in your DNA, in your subconscious, in your dreams, in your worries, in your decision-making, in your choices. Trauma is embedded in your cells.

Good News : trauma recovery is indeed possible, trauma recovery is uncomfortable and our defenses will throw many distractions at us because they think it’s dangerous to feel. When we are ready and can sit with being uncomfortable without running away something happens. We become healed, because we didn’t run away, we allowed and trusted the organic process of feeling what we have avoided for so long and allowed the experience to fade away. Is recovery a simple linear process, not at all. The results are worth the effort.

Nov15

Thoughtful Thursday #235 – Mind Blindness

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Mind blindness is my code for believing anything you are told or believe to be true, especially when it is not.

Mind blindness causes prejudice, destructive false beliefs, tons of fear, missed opportunities, misrepresentation, isolation, sadness and creates many reasons to thwart camaraderie and friendship.

It is no easy feat to see our own mind blindness yet so easy to see it in others. It is easier to judge rather than see our own huge false beliefs disguised by mind blindness.

First, let’s start by uncovering our own false beliefs about ourselves, let’s stop beating ourselves up as not good enough, or rich enough, or wise enough or good-looking enough.

Let’s acknowledge that we have our blind spots but we have so much to add to the world. Let’s be open and honest enough to examine and question our own mind blindness.

Ask questions, why do I believe as I do, why do those I know act as they do, what is the truth behind that mystery that is bothering you.

You may be very surprised at the result of questioning your own mind blindness. The more we question what we believe the more open we we are to understanding no only ourselves but most other people too.

 

Nov8

Thoughtful Thursday – #234 – Emotional Triggers

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Sometimes we feel weird all of a sudden and don’t know why. This can be an emotional trigger. Perhaps you were reminded of a bad time in your life and the feelings and memories are buried deep in your mind and body.

If you can detach from the trigger for a moment by writing or some other grounding activity you will get a better perspective of how your inner world is working. Remember: a lot of recall is subconscious and it usually comes up as a feeling then a thought then an action.

With compassion, acknowledge what your inner world is sharing with you  and thank it for sharing the hurt and trauma of a long-held memory.

By this method you can process and rearrange any painful memories.

 

 

 

 

Oct18

Thoughtful Thursday #232 Grief

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It is not easy to feel grief, we avoid it at all costs with distractions galore.

Allowing yourself to feel grief and cry and rage and weep are very healing actions to take you forward.

Grief that is not felt is invisible and holds you back. Clues that you are not feeling grief is lots of unfounded fear, perhaps you feel numb, anxious.

How can you get to a point where you can organically feel grief? Writing, talking to someone you trust, exercise, getting educated on recognizing grief, find a support group, being really good to yourself because you are hurting.

Grief work is a very personal journey, there is no timeframe, no right and wrong to process grief and your coping strategy will belong only to you. Only you have to validate this.

Is grief work easy, no it is not. It’s uncomfortable, the good news is that every opportunity you have to process and express grief the quicker it goes away.

 

Oct12

Thoughtful Thursday #231 – Questions

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Question everything you do. What is the reason and purpose of your behavior.

Question the motives of others. Ask why, ask for clarification.

It’s perfectly acceptable to try to make sense of your life and circumstances.

If someone has a problem with you asking questions, ask why?

You have the right and responsibility to yourself and your life to make it the best, you never need to justify bettering your life and life education to anyone.

You only have to answer to yourself.