Tag Archives: writing

Dec14

Thoughtful Thursdays #192 – Prisoner Of Your Own Mind

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Any kind of entrapment feels uncomfortable. You can become a prisoner of your own mind too. Do you have obsessive thoughts? Are you adamant about your beliefs and won’t listen to other points of view? Do you have self-defeating tendencies?

The good news is being a prisoner of your mind is mostly artificial.  A lot  these thoughts are based on fear and insecurities.

The work to open that cell door comes from grounding yourself in some way. Here are some suggestions:

  1. Writing.
  2. Redirecting your thoughts.
  3. Exercise.
  4. Making art.
  5. Talking to a mental health professional.
  6. Meditation.

I am sure you can add to the list. The idea is to be in the present moment for as long as possible so your mind does not hijack you back to being a prisoner.

This takes effort, consistency, and even scary at times to go into this new territory.  The results are so worth it and will strengthen you. Go for it.

Dec8

Thoughtful Thursdays # 191 – Today is not over yet.

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If your heart is beating, if your lungs are breathing, if you are still alive… then it is not too late to do something kind, creative, generous, satisfying, and courageous. Today.

It is not too late to behave like the person you want to be — instead of continuing in a cycle of behavior that you will regret.

You might feel sleepy. It might be tough. It could seem preferable to just sit this one out.

But…

Today is not over yet.

http://www.alexandrafranzen.com

Nov16

Thoughtful Thursdays #188 – Move Closer

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There are some pretty scary emotions that we run from. Our minds race with one disaster after another. Our society almost demands that we let it go and move on from tragedy or trauma. Letting go and moving on is not possible if we smother the very emotions we need to move closer to. Emotions like fear, abandonment, isolation and worthlessness.

Move closer to the parts of you that you exiled. Move closer to the very emotions that scare you. Move closer to approval for all strange events you survived. Move closer to being curious about your behavior. Move closer to the parts that are so hard to accept and love. Move closer to having compassion and kindness for yourself. Move closer to being intimate with our own courage. Move closer to deeply knowing who you are because you can’t help anyone else without helping yourself first.

It won’t be easy but so worth the effort. Your thinking will become more integrated and grounded. And an important perk to this effort is you will become more productive, understanding and confident.

Nov9

Thoughtful Thursday #187 – Pain and Shame

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Pain and shame are the hardest feelings to sit with. We will do anything not to feel them.

When we are willing to go to these frightening places something wonderful happens. We have the chance to witness past and present events and their impact with a new, clearer sight. Which illuminates  our thinking about close relationships in the present.

You may even become determined in changing those relationships and becoming free to choose healthier alternatives.

All it takes is a little bit of curiosity and courage to look at those scary emotional places and a baby step toward a new direction.

Oct26

Thoughtful Thursdays #184 – Inner World – Outer World

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We all have an inner and outer world. In our head there are so many thoughts and voices it’s hard to identify which way is the most effective way.

We all have an outer world that reflects your inner world. The mess, confusion, the paralysis.

How to get the both in sync is to find your way of grounding yourself.

To start: In whatever task you are doing direct your thoughts to the present moment.

For example: I am washing the dishes, I am cutting an onion, I am driving my car, I am walking the dog. Bring attention to your breathing. Let the thoughts come with no judgement. Don’t judge yourself either.

The idea is to get out of your head for a little while and find a sense of peace away from racing thoughts and impulsive actions.

Your inner world and outer world will thank you for the peace.

Oct19

Thoughtful Thursdays #183 – Road Rage

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Road rage is never about the traffic incident, it’s about underlying, unresolved anger that is misplaced.

Over reacting to any situation is usually about unresolved hurt, anger,  oppression or any other uncomfortable feeling of  frustration.

I am not minimizing that a particular event like road rage is not meaningful.

These trigger events are meaningful because they show you where you have been hiding, and not dealing with uncomfortable stuff.

These trigger events are your reminder of where you are not looking to be healed.

These trigger events are your teachers.

These trigger events are monumental in transforming your life.

Look where you are hurting, go to the places that make you uncomfortable, be willing to be curious about what is triggering you.

You may have to change some stuff: do you need to remove yourself from a situation, do you need to protect yourself, do you need to have a difficult conversation. Then by all means do it, it’s going to hurt temporarily, but you will be so much better off in the long run.

Welcome Road Rage and any other Rage into your life. It’s the place you need to change something.

Sep22

Thoughtful Thursdays #180 – Emotional Trauma in the Body

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It is common information about emotional trauma being trapped in the body. Google it or go to the library for reading material.

However, how do we uncover emotions without the long stretches in therapy or costly physical therapies?

Start with walking more, take the stairs, swim, dance, rent a bike, work out, walk your neighbor’s dog, garden, yoga on youtube.

The next step to exorcise those pesky emotions that sneak up on you and settle in your body, sit with paper and pen or open a word document  and pour your mind onto a page.

By exercising you can release trauma from your body which is connected to your mind.

By writing you exorcise trauma from your mind which is connected to your body.

Find your balance.

Sep14

Thoughtful Thursdays # 179 – 15 Minutes

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If you have 15 minutes for yourself what would you do?

Call a friend, Mend some clothing, Paint a picture, Sing a song, Write in stream of consciousness, Meditate, Listen to you favorite music, Draw a picture, Write a positive note to your significant other, Feed your pet some treats, Gaze at the night sky, Sit still in the morning hours before daylight, Read something interesting, Count the stars, Sip a hot beverage, Send good wishes to those in need, Not complain in your voice or head, Just listen intently to your environment.

Finish the list of your favorites.

And you do have 15 minutes anytime you want. Indulge happily.

Aug24

Thoughtful Thursdays #176 – Internalized Oppression

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Internalized oppression is when we  have been oppressed and unwittingly use the methods of the oppressor against ourselves. The oppressor could be family of origin, your unfulfilling job, negative friends, or any other area that feels oppressive. Wow that is a heavy realization.

How do we recognize this internalized oppression?

  1. Where am I punishing myself. Am I continuing a behavior that is keeping me down.
  2. Are my beliefs based on an oppressors opinion?
  3. Do I want to assimilate or  fit in with my oppressors to feel of value?
  4. Do you have oppressive views of your identity?
  5. Do you believe you have no power?

Here are some remedies. I am sure there are many more.

  1. Stop a negative behavior and sit with the feeling. There’s a good chance there is shame and guilt present. Express any feelings that come up.
  2. You now have permission to have your own opinions and don’t need any validation but your own.
  3. You are not supposed to fit in, you are supposed to be your own person without apologies.
  4. Your identity is your own, no one can tell you who you are.
  5. Power can be overwhelming, take baby steps in reclaiming your personal power.

We learn to oppress ourselves, and it can be unlearned. This is the work of an empowered adult.

So get to work, you are worth it.

 

Aug10

Thoughtful Thursdays – #174 – Sins and Secrets

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Sin = wrongdoing, transgression, crime, offense.

Secret = not meant to be known or seen by others

To my understanding a sin is an action done out of ignorance.

To my understanding secrets can be surrounded by shame.

Ignorance does not protect us from consequences.

Shame keeps secrets in place.

If we have a secret that causes shame it may cause ignorant actions with many consequences.

We all have “sins and secrets” we want to go the grave with. But the burden of carrying “sins and secrets” is so very painful. Here are some safe ways of releasing the pain.

  1. Write your heart out without censure.
  2. Find a therapist or someone you can really trust to talk it out.
  3. Don’t beat yourself up, have compassion for yourself.
  4. Research the issues you are dealing with.
  5. Change what you can, leave the rest alone.

We are all human and we make mistakes, this is part of life. And every day is a new chance to change.