Tag Archives: wise words

Jan7

Thoughful Thurdays # 114 – Three Kinds of Laziness

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I have been reading “The Places That Scare You” by Pema Chodron and Chapter Sixteen is about three kinds of laziness.

I will sum each one up.

  1. Comfort Orientation-we use quick fixes in order not to inconvenience ourselves. For example, our car breaks down and we become enraged at the inconvenience.
  2. Loss of Heart-this is hopelessness and have poverty thinking. We drink, smoke, eat, watch TV, etc. The inability to get ourselves moving into breaking free from hopelessness.
  3. Couldn’t Care Less-this is about resentment. We become aggressive and defiant. We are not getting what we deserve. So the hell with everyone. This turns into depression.

There are three futile strategies in dealing with this laziness.

  1. We attack ourselves for being lazy.
  2. We indulge ourselves by self-doubt and inadequacy.
  3. We ignore, space out and go numb. We will do anything not to deal with the lazy behavior.

These ways of behaving lazy and these ineffective strategies have become a habit.

The answer-become curious about what your behavior is. Ask yourself why you are suffering. Experiment with different ways of behaving that will bring happiness rather than suffering. Sit with the feelings and listen to what they are telling you. Explore your own mind. The answers lie there.

Read Pema Chodron’s books or any others on human behavior. You are worth the effort.

Dec24

Thoughful Thursdays #112 – That Time of Year

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Wishing you and yours a fantastic and transformative 2016.

May you find the courage to trust your journey

With peace in your heart and wings on your feet,

HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

Dec17

Thoughtful Thursdays # 111 – The Language of Feelings

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Read the rest of this entry →

Dec10

Thoughtful Thursdays #110 Spiritual Inventory

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There are people in this world who are genuine enough to pay attention to their own behavior. Those who are aware that how their words, actions and thoughts have an impact on those they interact with.

Here is a small list to read at the end of the day to see if you want to change or develop some of your behavior. Pick no more than two or three at a time.

Was I free from anger and judgement?

Did I give anyone sorrow or take any sorrow?

How much negative thinking was I wrapped up in?

Was I stable or unstable.

What did I bring into my interactions today? Was I positive?

Did I respect everyone regardless of name and fame?

Did I take a moment here and there to reflect on what I was thinking.

You can add more suggestions to the list. You can make a chart to fill out at the end of the day. Either way your behavior is so much more dynamic than you realize.

So be positive and joyful.

 

Nov19

Thoughtful Thursdays #109 – Hope

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Do you have an expectation or hearts desire? Do you want something to happen? Do you long for, wish for, desire for a personal fulfilment.

That is hope. I hope this situation goes in my favor. My heart longs for a better whatever. I have desired that goal forever.

Until the very last-minute of our lives there is hope. Hope for a change. Hope for our longings. Hope for our desires. Hope for our lives to be better.

Hope is also trust. It is trusting ourselves and the movement of life. Hope is not a wishful thinking state of mind. One must be active in observing our own actions and the actions surrounding us. Hope is hanging in there when we don’t know the answers. Hope is an antidote and answer to disbelief, doubt, despair, fear and hatred.

With that I hope you have all that makes your life better.

Your life is not over yet.

Time to hope for the best.

 

 

Nov5

Thoughtful Thursdays #108 – Time

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How often do we complain about not having enough time? I do it all the time. No pun intended. However, There is the same amount of time every day, the same twenty four hours again and again.

Maybe the issue is not time but distractions. I get redirected by chores, mini and maxi crisis, unexpected detours in my plans, becoming too tired to continue, making time for others and a million and one extra steps in the dance of my day.

The struggle to do the things that are necessary for me and distractions is a contant juggling act. My life feels like a circus act.

When these distractions happen I pick a time that is for me. I handle whatever needs to be handled and move my actions to the time I picked for myself.

It’s not easy but it works every time.

Pick time for what is important for you. No one else will. Carry On.

Oct9

Thoughtful Thursdays #106 – Habits

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How much of your behavior is a habit? Do you  eat because the clock says it’s mealtime but you aren’t really hungry? Do you buy stuff- just because? Did some behavior become common because everyone else is doing it?

Do you have routines that you do by rote without thinking? Did you learn somewhere in your life that certain things are only done a certain way?

Did you forget to stop and observe what you are doing? What habit is not working for you anymore? What habit does not resonate with your life at this time? What is the habit that is holding you back and you know in your gut it has to go?

What’s the best way to kill a habit? Maybe cold turkey. Maybe negotiating with our minds to slowly back off of the habit. Maybe getting angry at yourself for continuing the habit even though you know it’s bad for you. Maybe stopping but still doing the habit once in a while risking full-blown relapse. Maybe finding a support group.

Definitely some courage is necessary, some realistic self talk and some determination even when you don’t feel like it.

There is no right or wrong way to kill a habit. Just as long as you kill it. Killing a habit is acceptable, necessary and holistic. Killing a bad habit with a new good habit is the easiest way to permanently kill a bad habit.

You’ll gain confidence and the new habit of persistence and personal strength. Which helps in all areas of your like.

It won’t be easy in the beginning. Habits are evil and don’t play nice. There is no reasoning with habits. Especially bad ones.

But you are the boss not them. So go for it. You will win in the end because a bad habit is a fear and a fear is a lie. The bad habit will eventually go away and you will be the victor.

Congratulations you win.

You knew that anyway.

Didn’t you?

 

Oct1

Thoughtful Thursdays #105 Relationships

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What a loaded subject. If you want peace in all your relationships remember:

The other person’s behavior towards you tells you how they feel about themselves.

Their behavior has nothing to do with your value.

If you remember this, as time goes on you’ll stop reacting in your realtionships and start enjoying your relationships.

Sep15

Free Thinking

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Most of us feel trapped in our decisions as if there are no alternatives.

Not true.

Where do you feel trapped? Maybe in your job, relationships, lifestyle, trauma, beliefs. What worries you? What grates on your nerves? What precipitates your addictions? What keeps you going round and round instead of forward?

Try this.

Free write about each concern.

Free role play possible outcomes.

Free your child mind with crayons on paper.

Free yourself with music you have never heard.

Free your spirit with twenty minutes of silence.

Free your body with dancing.

Free yourself of addiction by sitting with uncomfortable feelings.

Freely choose something different instead of habits.

Freely be different.

Free your heart by speaking your mind.

Freely think of all possible outcomes.

Freely share yourself with the world.

Freely divorce yourself from negativity.

Freely choose what is purposeful for you.

Freely reach out to others when you are needy.

Your life is meant to be meaningful. You are important. When you choose alternatives that make you life better you give others permission to do so also.

Get it?

Good.

Carry on.

Sep10

Thoughtful Thursdays #103 – Worry

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Who told you to worry?

Who said you can not stop worrying?

Worry is stressful. Worry tenses the body and causes pain.

Most of the stuff you worry about never happens.

Worry puts you on the path of over thinking, panic, the downward spiral of depression. In no time at all you will be paralyzed.

As soon as you start to worry, replace the thoughts with positive gentle words. At first your mind will fight you. Soon you will see that worrying is just a habit and habits can be changed.

Worry is just fear. You are stronger than any fear.

For one day say nothing negative about yourself in your thoughts or out loud. Then try it for another day, and another and another until it becomes a habit.

Have patience, it takes time to change a negative habit into a positive habit.

You can do it. Just try.