Tag Archives: relationships

Jessica Whitley-Aquatics Director and Head Swim Coach at John Jay College of Criminal Justice

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jessica john jay picture

I would like you to meet Jessica Whitley. I have known her for quite a few years now, as my daughters swim coach at her alma mater John Jay College of Criminal Justice. Jessica is a dedicated coach and director, she has motivated many teams, my daughters included, to win college championships and serious college competitions. She builds the all girls swim team to understand what it means to be a team and work together to be winners in the pool and out of the pool. She also maintains a professional and positive attitude with the team that the team absorbs.

Jessica has such a positive attitude and a superior motivator that after graduation my daughter joined her as assistant coach.

Let’s get to know Jessica better.

PSW: How did you become a college swim coach?

JW: Nothing quite beats the thrill of a competitive swim race! I am a former swimmer who decided to become a coach after calling time on my competitive career.

Becoming a college swim coach was not on my radar until I attended John Jay College for my master’s degree. I met Dr. Jane Katz poolside, where I lifeguarded a few hours per week. Suddenly, Dr. Katz husband passed away and she had to take a leave of absence. The head of the physical education department read through my resume and wanted me to take over her college swimming classes as well as coach the swim team.

After meeting the very few ladies on the team, it amazed me to see that the swimmers were able to attend full time school, have a full time job and support their families at home. Coaching is more than telling the athletes to complete practices and swim fast at meets, it is about the coach believeing in the athletes so they feel important and appreciated. I quickly realized that my knowledge of swimming and being a Seton Hall Graduate can really make an impact these your athletes in a positive way. I decided to commit myself to the team members and make them understand that swimming well guide them to a successful careet, structure their lives, and their therapy when they need it.

PSW: How long have you been a college coach?

JW: I am in my 8th season now.

PSW: What is your day like?

JW: My day starts at 4:15 am. I reside in PA so it takes me about an hour and a half to get to work. I start at 6-6:15 and begin planning for the day. Practice is from 8 to 10 am. I am also the Aquatics Director so I maintain, schedule and operate the pool. I have a lifeguard and staff of 7 that I scheducle and train.

PSW: What are your job duties?

JW: Women’s Swim Team Coach responsibilities are:  team training and the focal point for all new activities.

I work extensive hours to coordinate all team practices and clinics.

Collect and summarize team statistics and attend numerous away clinics to gain more knowledge.

As Aquatics Director I manage the pool facility, oversee the pool, lockers and deck area, Oversee a staff of seven. Plan and host events that occur in the pool area.

PSW: What are the challenges of being a college swim coach?

JW: The challenges of being a college swim coach are the athletes not buying into my program and not seeing the benefits right away. I have to gain their trust and let them know that there will be a positive outcome throughout and at the end of the season.

My yearly goal is to have 100% success rate both in the pool and in the classroom. With hard work and support, the athletes will see a major difference from start to finish.

PSW: What are the benefits?

JW: There are so many! Here’s a list:

The swimmers are happy
They commit and stick to the program
Their grades improve
Their swim times improve
Their life imporves
Their communication improves
Their dedication improves
They gain confidence, structure, organization skills

PSW: Are there opportunities for advancement?

JW: There are many opportunities for advancement. I started as a lifeguard, became an Adjunct Professor and Head Coach, moved up to Aquatics Director and Head Coach. There are always opportunities at any workplace, you just work hard and prove that you are doing your job and doing it well.

PSW: Do you have any hobbies?

JW: I do like to run. Ever since I completed my four years as a college athlete, I enjoy running. I also play with my dogs and cats. I am a family person and enjoy being in my new home with the people I love.

PSW: Describe your team assistants and team members?

JW: My team assistants are my former 4 year athletes. I put them on staff because I realized how dedicated they were to the sport. They proved themselves being on my team for 4 years. They are my co-coaches and my support. I always tell them “a head coach is only as good as their assistants.” I trust my assistants to run everything. If I cannot be present, they will take over practice and/or meets efficiently. My assistants have shown me their drive and their commitment to the team. They have been with me for three years now and the team has strengthened because of them

My team members are students. They enter college struggling (all students do at any college) and learn how to organize structure and gain strength to complete a four year degree. They are hard workers, exceptional students and great athletes.

PSW: Are there any special rules to be in a team?

JW: Yes, you must be a full time student. You must swim a 50 (2 laps) freestyle under 45 seconds. You must be able to commit to all practices and meets. You must have a yearly physical done. You must keep your GPA above 2.0.

PSW: Do you have any advice to those who want to be a college swim coach?

JW: My advice, for any job, would be to set a goal and complete that goal. A realistic goal is important. Pay attention to your strengths and weaknesses and focus on improving both. Fight for what you want in life and never, ever give up. With or without support, you can meet your goals. Surround yourself with people who are positive and continue to be who you are and be open to critiques. No one is perfect.

PSW: Thank you so much Jessica. I especially like your advice of fighting for what you want in life and never, ever give up, with or without support. And be open to critiques because no one is perfect.

Jessica Whitley is a role model for anyone who wants to advance in both their career and life. Jessica teaches all who come into her world how to be better than before. Her enthusiam, dedication and care is rare. She is an exceptional teacher and wonderful human being.

I hope Jessica Whitley is an inspiration to you and you will take some of her advice to change your life.

Her contact information is jkolackovsky@jjay.cuny.edu

Thoughtful Thursdays #82 – Hurting Others

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No one attacks without the intent to hurt. Cruelty becomes protection. You mean to hurt others  to have freedom. You attack because of fear. Fear of invasions or fear of a feeling. You are looking for freedom from fear. Freedom from feeling your own inadequacy.

If it is you that is lashing out, talk it out with someone who is sympathetic to you. If you are the victim of this type of lashing out let it go because they are hurting and have bad people skills.

Let it go.

This is paraphrased from a section in a Course In Miracles.  Poor behavior is reflection of the person doing the wrong action. It is not a reflection on the intended victim.

We All Have Schizophrenia

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This is going to sound strange but yes we are all schizophernic to one degree or another.

Google Definition:

schiz·o·phre·ni·a
ˌskitsəˈfrēnēə,ˌskitsəˈfrenēə/Submit
noun
a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behavior, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation.
(in general use) a mentality or approach characterized by inconsistent or contradictory elements.

For example, we can have a mental disorder that leads to breakdown in thought, emotion and behavior when we fall in love or  have murderous rage.

Inappropriate actions and feelings can come from having our egos brused and wishing death and destruction to the offender and acting on those feelings. These are common stories in the news paper.

Withdrawal from reality in relationships can come from going into denial that you may be in a bad relationship, job, etc.

Inconsistent or contradictory elements can come from being frozen with indecision that you are paralized.

I am not negating the severity of schizophrenia but we all have different aspects of ourselves.

We can be the parent, the child, the protector, the killer, the compassionate one or more. Pay attention to how you behave in your interactions in your daily routine. These aspects will become visible if you pay attention.

We are a blend of aspects in our psyche and that is normal. Some aspects are more pronounced than others. Sometimes we are mostly sweet or angry, sad or outgoing or any other role. We all have flashes of insight and can choose whatever behavior we want.

It is our job to accept all aspects of ourselves and deny nothing. In this way we are in touch with our humanity and the humanity of others.

Happy exploring.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays # 80 – New Year Resolutions

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I don’t do well with New Year Resolutions because I feel like I am being forced to do something just because every one else is. I was never one to follow the crowd.

These resolutions seem like a set up for beating yourself up if you don’t follow through on an empty promise you made to yourself.I don’t beat myself up and neither should you.

Instead expand on what has been working in your life and leave behind what does not work.

This is the time for year for new ideas, new feelings and new adventures.

Happy New Year 2015.

Equanimity

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Equanimity is viewing

those we love

and those we hate

and wanting both to be happy.

Shi Wuling

Love

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You don’t need

a reason

to love someone.

You just do.

g.piazza

Thoughtful Thursdays #79 – Going with the Flow

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I wonder if anyone else goes through this. I find when I push and try to force an event, it usually doesn’t work.

When I go with the flow of events, things work out perfect.

I must remind myself that stepping back and letting life flow without my interuption is the better way to get what is perfect and necessary.

Happy flowing.

 

 

Fate

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do not resent the heavens for ones’s fate.

do not blame our problems on others.

realize the negative cause

lies within us,

was created by us,

can only be changed by us,

resolved by us with

understanding,

diligence,

love.

Shi Wuling

We Are One

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we are one,

all part of one another.

if one part suffers and feels pain then

we also suffer and feel pain.

we are one.

Shi Wuling

Thoughtful Thursdays # 78 Compassion

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Inspired by the book: The Tibetan Book of the Living and Dying” I was reading about Tonglen Meditation. It is mostly about compassion.

Compassion is one of my favorite subjects. How do we have compassion? How is it beneficial?

1. Remember a time when you felt deep love, just remember the feeling. Or read something that invokes the feeling. Stay with it and extend it to yourself, environment, friends, loved ones and even your enemies.
2. Remember that others are the same as you are. We all want happiness and be free from suffering.
3. Put yourself in the other persons place. We all bleed suffering the same way.
4. Actions speak louder than words. If it is possible try to help others in a practical way.

All beings everywhere suffer, let your heart go out them. Compassion is greater that pity. Honor those who suffer.

You are no better or greater than anyone else. Dedicate your positive actions for the welfare of others.

It will benefit all beings and return to you ten fold.