Tag Archives: freedom

Jul7

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 129 Trying To Live In Peace

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I like to mind my own business mostly unless I am dragged into situations where I have to defend myself. I like being friendly and accommodating except where I am being taken advantage of. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect my life to have good times except when it doesn’t .

Most of us want to get along and live in reasonable peace. However, we don’t all have the same awareness. Which shows up when we are interacting with others.

We meet each other at these different levels and that’s where the problems begin.  We can’t understand someones indifference or cruelty or insincere remark. Why did they gossip or take belongings or leave with no warning?

How is it that some things are so obvious to us but not to them?

Simple yet not so simple. Awareness. Some of us are simply more aware than others. It’s impossible to know where the other is coming from completely. But it is possible to know about yourself. And that is all that matters because you end up being open to those who resonate with you. You become a light of awareness for others. You have a better set of boundaries. You gain unshakable confidence to live the life you want.

You can’t stop others from being who they are.

Others can’t stop you from being who you are.

So carry on with your bad self.

Peace.

 

 

May12

Thoughtful Thursdays #126 – To Forgive or Not To Forgive – That Is The Question

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Forgiveness is one of my pet peeves. Frankly I don’t think forgiveness is necessary or possible in many cases. I think it’s stupid to forgive someone who sees no problem with their behavior.

The anger felt can’t be glossed over because feelings are not logical. If you automatically forgive because it’s uncomfortable then you are not holding the offender accountable for their actions.

If the offender recognizes the problem and genuinely apologizes and changes their behavior then repair can begin. Perhaps trust is very broken but the relationship can be saved.

Most of the time there is no acknowledgement from the offender and life goes on as if nothing has happened. What happens then? You need to protect yourself and find a healthy way to deal with the pain and hurt like going to therapy and putting up strong boundaries against the offender.

Focusing on your own life and make your life the best possible for you. That’s the best way to get build back what has been lost by the hurt.

And it’s perfectly OK not to forgive, ever, if you don’t want to.

Here’s and excellent article that aptly explains the process of forgiveness and the article today’s post is based on.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2016/03/5-reasons-forgiveness-does-not-work/

 

 

Apr28

Thoughtful Thursdays – #125 – Ten Things You May Not Know About Meditation.

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I have benefited from meditation since 2005. The benefits have been profound and permanent. Here I’ll share some of the benefits I have experienced.

  1. It takes just a few meditation sessions to reach a deep peacefulness.
  2. From the peacefulness comes the ability to be detached.
  3. Being detached gives the ability to non reaction.
  4. Meditation does not require any religious belief.
  5. A few minutes a day is all you need to be quiet.
  6. Being in nature has the same effect as a meditation session.
  7. You won’t be hit over the head with enlightenment but you will understand yourself and others better.
  8. You know you are doing it right when you feel relaxed and alert. Not sleepy. If you are sleepy you need sleep.
  9. You get to separate your wandering mind from your intuition.
  10. You can stay in the present moment for longer and longer periods.

Here’s another observation. You can’t stop you mind from thinking. So as you meditate you learn to observe the thoughts and not be dragged down by them. Meditation will boost your creativity and lower stress. Increase focus and better your health.

Meditation is my medicine, I keep it in my life. If you can’t make it to a group that does meditation, there’s plenty of meditation videos on youtube.

Give it a try for three months and you will see the benefits. You will feel better and even better the more you do it.

OM

 

 

Apr21

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 124 Types of Beliefs

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Beliefs are concepts we take as true and never question. Sometimes there is no logical reason to believe it.

There are several types of beliefs.

The belief in your own weakness and shortcomings. I am not good, smart, pretty or rich enough.

Survival beliefs. Let me take and take and give nothing in return without seeing the repercussions.

Creating blocks because we believe others have hurt us, so we cut off the flow of energy to them.

The belief that we are strong and can accomplish, finish or create something.

Core beliefs about ourselves as spiritual beings. We understand ourselves and others.

Check your beliefs. Are they true, do they apply to who you are now? Question why you believe what you believe. Did you learn it from your own experience or absorb it? Do you need to believe the same stuff now?

If you don’t need the belief where you stand now then let it go. There’s so much more to learn if you let go of stuff you don’t need to believe.

 

Apr14

Thoughtful Thursdays #123 – Can and Will

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What is the difference between can and will.

Can implies the ability to do something in the present tense. Will implies an action in the future tense.

I can do work effectively. I will do work effectively. See the difference? Which brings to mind ……………

What (ability) can I do now that (make something happen) will help my situation be better. You fill in the blanks of what you want to be better.

Just try one thing, not a complete over haul. The idea is to bring your future tense (will) into the present tense (can). The end result will be freedom. The freedom to have a life you created. You can do it.

Carry on.

 

Feb4

Thoughtful Thursdays #118-Income Tax

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I have just spent the whole day gathering the majority of my information to file income tax. It was grueling and I am still not done.

I procrastinated for one year and I am feeling the pain now. Why did I procrastinate for a year knowing full well that it would be torture to get this work done.

I am sure I am not alone in this. We all procrastinate because of going out of our comfort zone, basic laziness and fear.

I’ve learned my lesson. I’m done procrastinating.

Back to work.

Jan28

Thoughtful Thursdays #117 – Recognizing Resistance

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It’s easy to recognize resistance in someone else. You watch them hem and haw, twitch and bolt, lie and freeze. You don’t understand the problem in them. No matter what you do you can’t show them their resistance.

It’s the same with you. You will resist that which is uncomfortable, threatening and revolting. Your own resistance is based on fear. Your own history makes these fears. This resistance is based on the false belief that you can’t take care of your self. Which is not true. You can handle anything. You are brave, give yourself some credit.

The moment you recognize resistance it is the signal not to hold back. It’s the compass pointing true north. It’s where you need to go.

Recognizing resistance is part of everyone’s journey. It’s a resource and teaching tool that is in everyone. It’s part of how our brains function to show us where we need to go next.

What are you resisting, where’s your next adventure?

Zoom – Zoom

Jan21

Thoughtful Thursdays #116 Now Is The Time

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Now is the time to stop scaring yourself.

Now is the time to put an end to any kind of abuse.

Now is the time to finish old things that are not working.

Now is the time to celebrate who you are.

Now is the time to choose your own happiness.

Now is the time to change your life to the way you want it.

You got this.

Jan7

Thoughful Thurdays # 114 – Three Kinds of Laziness

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I have been reading “The Places That Scare You” by Pema Chodron and Chapter Sixteen is about three kinds of laziness.

I will sum each one up.

  1. Comfort Orientation-we use quick fixes in order not to inconvenience ourselves. For example, our car breaks down and we become enraged at the inconvenience.
  2. Loss of Heart-this is hopelessness and have poverty thinking. We drink, smoke, eat, watch TV, etc. The inability to get ourselves moving into breaking free from hopelessness.
  3. Couldn’t Care Less-this is about resentment. We become aggressive and defiant. We are not getting what we deserve. So the hell with everyone. This turns into depression.

There are three futile strategies in dealing with this laziness.

  1. We attack ourselves for being lazy.
  2. We indulge ourselves by self-doubt and inadequacy.
  3. We ignore, space out and go numb. We will do anything not to deal with the lazy behavior.

These ways of behaving lazy and these ineffective strategies have become a habit.

The answer-become curious about what your behavior is. Ask yourself why you are suffering. Experiment with different ways of behaving that will bring happiness rather than suffering. Sit with the feelings and listen to what they are telling you. Explore your own mind. The answers lie there.

Read Pema Chodron’s books or any others on human behavior. You are worth the effort.

Dec10

Thoughtful Thursdays #110 Spiritual Inventory

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There are people in this world who are genuine enough to pay attention to their own behavior. Those who are aware that how their words, actions and thoughts have an impact on those they interact with.

Here is a small list to read at the end of the day to see if you want to change or develop some of your behavior. Pick no more than two or three at a time.

Was I free from anger and judgement?

Did I give anyone sorrow or take any sorrow?

How much negative thinking was I wrapped up in?

Was I stable or unstable.

What did I bring into my interactions today? Was I positive?

Did I respect everyone regardless of name and fame?

Did I take a moment here and there to reflect on what I was thinking.

You can add more suggestions to the list. You can make a chart to fill out at the end of the day. Either way your behavior is so much more dynamic than you realize.

So be positive and joyful.