Tag Archives: emotional pain

Jul16

Healthy and Unhealthy Boundaries

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Boundaries can be subtle or obvious. Here’s a partial list adapted from LoveEngineer.com.

Trust everyone or no one vs developing appropriate trust over time.

Black and white thinking vs realizing nothing is black and white.

Expecting others to automatically meet your needs vs communicating your wants and needs. (with the possibility of them being declined).

Self abuse vs treating yourself with respect and dignity.

Giving too much or not at all vs respect for others generosity.

Believing others can read your mind vs recognizing others can’t read your mind.

These are just a few boundary issues prevalent in our lives. Let’s add to the list and change what we can to foster our own growth.

Jul5

10 Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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We have all been involved with someone who has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. ‘

A co-worker, boss, significant other, relative, teacher etc. They are everywhere. Here are some of the traits of the disorder.

Abusive

Acts superior

Arrogant

Over Dramatic

Hostile

Violent

Wrathful

Thoughtless

Sneaky

Sadistic

You can add to the list, however, these are some of the red flags.

Don’t be nice to these people, just walk away. You’ll be so much more at peace.

Jun5

Thoughful Thursdays #96 – Signals

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We live such small lives compared to what we are capable of. We become complacent and stay in our comfort zone. We wish and long for other things we think are better for us but do nothing to change our lives.

There are signals that crop up from time to time ushering us to move in a certain direction. Focus on the signals, this is the easy way to change.

Signals come from a chance meeting, words in a book, something said, inspiration, serendipity, these are just a few signals,  Pay attention to the signals, they are there for you to act upon. You are being led and sent to your next destination.

You can be led willingly or kicking and screaming. It is up to you.

This destination may not be conventional. You may not understand it in the beginning.

Sometimes there is no logic, no reason, no guideposts as to where you are being led and that is OK.

This destination is only for you, no one else. Relax and enjoy the ride. You will arrive when its necessary.

 

 

 

May14

Thoughtful Thursdays #93 Success

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My definition of success is different from your definition of success.

Perhaps you want financial success, or health success or relationship success. What ever it is you want there is one truth that applies to all success.

You have to be willing to make effort in transformation.

Transforming your self means to change. Change is not easy. We naturally resist change even when it is good for us.

Success is guaranteed by steady transforming actions. Learning from each situation will slowly bring success. Taking risks will bring success.  Getting out of your comfort zone will bring success.

The willingness to hold your own hand in personal transformation will bring success. Looking negativity in the eye will bring success.

Define your idea of success and bring up what needs to be transformed.

Be the creature you want to be. Go ahead, it won’t hurt. A little scary maybe but what you become will out weight any fear you have been holding.

Happy transformation.

 

 

May7

Thoughtful Thursdays #92 – Change

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Change is one of my favorite subjects. Change is the only thing that is consistent in this earthly life.

Nothing is stagnant. Nature does not give up on surviving. It is just creative in how to survive. Look at those creepy bugs that have been around for millennia. Or a flower growing in the ground after a volcano.

We are the same way. In a moment your life can change for the better or worse. Our survival skills kick in here and if you are the first to respond with kindness to yourself and others change is easier to digest.

Change is not easy sometimes it comes in subtly at other times it is a roaring river or tornado. Either way if you are kind without attachment to the results change is easier to go along with.

 

 

 

May5

Out Of Your Comfort Zone

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Every now and then something comes into our lives to question everything we believe.

The ending of a relationship, loss of a job, falling in love, illness and you can add many more to the list.

Big changes are  really uncomforable emotionally and we want the pain to stop now, right now.

At times like these we can fall back into old patterns of denial, addictions, anger, self centeredness and running away.

We can hide behind religion, fake self righteous beliefs or hide behind anything outside of our unease. We can fight for things to stay the same.

As you are being pushed out of your comfort zone there is a message from the pain.

Everything changes,

We are not meant to stay stagnant.

We are meant to grow.

Hence the reason for the upset. Life is movement and changes all the time.

You are meant to be happy and grow. Life is designed for that. You have the freedom to do as you wish.

We all  have responsibilites and the problem of fitting in the world to feel safe. The truth is you have made choices that put you where you are.

You can choice differently. It won’t be easy but it will equip you with deep understanding of yourself.  In turn you will understand others and be a better human citizen. You will be put in your rightful place in your world.

Go ahead,

choose one small thing

and change it.

May4

Your Very Own Super Powers

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I bet you didn’t know that you have super powers.

You have the power to not let anything disturb you.

You have the power to go with the flow of life.

You have the power to see an obstacle as a stepping stone.

You have the power to discern what is true and what is false.

You have the power to walk away.

You have the power to create the life you want.

Go on and do what it takes to make a wonderful life.

You are a superhero.

May3

Death

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From Pema Chrodon

Death is Certain

The hour of Death is not Certain

Pick what is Important

May2

Uncertainity

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There is a huge amount of uncertainty in living.

In a moment your life can change for better or worse.

Sometimes there are situations beyond our control.

Uncontrollable situations arise out of nowhere sending us into despair.

Even if the situation is painful,

space is being made for something better.

Space is being made for insight, intuition and understanding.

Go gently.

Align yourself with what is important to you.

You will find your way.

May1

Fear

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The places that scare you are not meant to hurt you.

Fear is meant to get your attention.

For example, worry and procrastination are forms of fear. Find a way to detach from the worry and procrastination. Detach emotionally, be an observer.

In that place you will find the lie that you are not good enough.

Don’t believe lies because they come from fear.

Face the fear and move in any direction that will help you be the person you are most happy to be.