Category Archives: trauma

Down the Rabbit Hole of Self-Discovery: Our Alice Days

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Have you ever woken up feeling like a stranger in your own skin? I have. It’s what I call an “Alice Day” – a journey into the wonderland of self-transformation that leaves us dizzy, disoriented, and questioning everything we thought we knew.

Just like Alice in Lewis Carroll’s beloved tale, we find ourselves growing and shrinking in unexpected ways. Our sense of identity becomes as fluid as the Cheshire Cat’s grin, fragmenting and reassembling with each new experience. I remember the day I realized half my opinions weren’t even my own – they were echoes of voices I’d internalized without question. “Who in the world am I?” I asked myself, echoing Alice’s bewilderment.

In our personal Wonderlands, we encounter our own versions of the Mad Hatter, the Queen of Hearts, and the cryptic Caterpillar. They come in the form of challenging relationships, societal expectations, and inner demons that make us question our reality. “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast,” the White Queen boasted. How many impossible beliefs have we swallowed without thinking?

But like Alice, we have tools to maintain our sanity amidst the chaos. Critical thinking becomes our sword, cutting through the nonsense. Adaptability is our shield, protecting us from the onslaught of change. Logic and reason are the breadcrumbs we follow home when we’re lost in the woods of confusion.

I’ve had my share of Alice Days – days when nothing made sense, when I felt like a collection of mismatched puzzle pieces. Perhaps you’ve experienced them too: the disorienting aftermath of a major life change, the vertigo of challenging a long-held belief, or the surreal haze of grief or trauma.

Yet, Alice’s journey teaches us that these days of confusion are not just normal – they’re necessary. They’re the cocoon stages of our personal metamorphosis. “It’s no use going back to yesterday,” Alice realized, “because I was a different person then.” Each Alice Day is an opportunity to shed an old skin, to question, to grow.

Thoughtful Thursday #290 – Resistance and Recovery

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Resistance is an unwillingness to deal in any way with uncomfortable psychological stuff.

Sometimes we are aware of our resistance but many times the resistance is totally unconscious.

Perhaps we know there is something off in the way we feel but can’t figure out what it is.

There are ways of finding and uncovering what is hidden in the subconscious.

  1. find a therapist you feel comfortable with.
  2. research mental health.
  3. write, write, write, you will feel resistance but write anyway.
  4. exercise
  5. look at cat videos, no really do activities that make you happy.
  6. do more of what makes you proud of yourself.

It’s time to recover your true self, and this is a lifelong journey, there are no quick fixes in self care. You will always need to take care of yourself, time will pass so you might as well start now.

You are worth it.

Thoughtful Thursday #275 – Getting Unstuck – Outside of the Box Techniques

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I have an extensive trauma history and trauma recovery, my mother was schizophrenic and my father was an addict so I have spent years undoing the damage they created in my life.

I write to the dissociated parts of my inner world, for example, when one grows up in a chronically unsafe environment our thinking becomes separated into different parts so we can function, we become many different parts rather than a cohesive thinking person. For more information on this read Dr. Richard Schwartz who popularized the Internal Family System method of therapy. This actually saved me, I have had dramatic results since beginning this therapy.

To get in touch with my inner parts who are exiled children and young versions of myself, also the stealth defenses and disassociation I experience, I write to them.

Dear Inner Children, Thank you for hanging in there during the tremendous pain you had to endure and keeping us alive, you did not deserve any of that bad treatment, you are safe now, if there is anything you want to share I am always listening.

Dear Defenses: you have done a splendid job in keeping me safe by isolating me from very harmful situations, I am truly thankful, we are safe now and if there is anything you want to share I am always listening.

I write everyday and much deeply buried information comes to light and I become free and unburden from the fears and entrapment of living in the past.

I also meditate on a regular basis, it is one way of grounding, I practice my art everyday and that is grounding. I go to therapy and speak to anyone who will listen about how important mental health is.

Do whatever you need to do to heal what is weighing heavy on your mind, you don’t deserve to be so troubled and afflicted. You deserve a wonderful happy life, find what you need to be a whole functioning person. You are so worth it.