Happy Thanksgiving
No matter how you choose to spend it,
Be thankful for who you are and all you have done.
Have a wonderful day.
Nov24
Tag Archives: wisdom
Nov10
Thoughtful Thursdays #141 – Control
This election has been quite a surprise. Some citizens are happy, some citizens are sad. And that is OK. We have lived through many questionable presidents.
There is nothing you can do about who is president. Not even your vote counted because the Electoral College is the one who really picks the president. Don’t believe me? Check for yourself. The only reason you vote is to express your opinion to the Electoral College. Therefore, how much control did you really have when you voted. Not much. That was an illusion.
Control of others is an illusion. Period. You can influence but not control. I am talking adults here. How frustrating it is to know that you mostly can’t control conditions outside of you. You are probably shouting at this post right now saying she doesn’t know what she is talking about. But you can’t control what I write nor can I control how you view my writing.
Controlling yourself is the best way to effect your own life for the better. You have control over your effort, lifestyle, job, relationships and any other choice you make for yourself. That is the power you have right now that can be used at anytime.
Focusing on your own life is vastly more important than who is president. Focus on what is in your control not what is outside of it.
Oct20
Thoughtful Thursdays # 139 – Following Your Dreams
I can’t stand broad generalizations about what to do with your life. Most of the time these phrases are tongue in cheek sayings that mean nothing because there are no specifics. In the case of “Follow Your Dreams”: of course it’s true but my dream is different from yours. What is meaningful to you is not meaningful to me. So what to do.
- Be specific about what your dream is.
- What are the steps needed to fulfill that dream.
- Believe it’s achievable.
- Decide on a timeline to get there.
- If you need help, ask for it.
- Stay focused.
I am sure you could flesh this out to fit your plan. Instead of “Follow Your Dreams” how about “Let’s Make A Plan”.
I like that.
Happy planning.
Sep29
Thoughtful Thursdays # 137 – Habits
Some habits are so ingrained that we are completely unaware of them. Like taking the easy way or the familiar way. Continuing to do the same things over and over with only the wish to get through the day. One day you wake up and say where did the last 10 years go and looking back it was all the same. Habits do that.
There were times you were uneasy about something, a feeling that there needed to be a shift. A new way of doing things but you didn’t listen. You kept up the habits because it was automatic and seemed to make sense. After all why change when what you were doing worked.
One day your routine habit is interrupted. Probably something not in your control. Havoc and chaos is now your companion not your habit. There’s that pesky shift, the unwanted change, the inconvenience of doing things differently.
That is what life is about. Shifts and change and movement. If you are unaware of your habits then when change happens you will be terribly afraid. If you are aware that old habits leave and new ones arrive you will be ease into it.
Be open to new ways of being and doing and learning. Rigidity will give you health problems and an overall gloomy outlook. There is so much to learn and experience. Get out of your habits and be alive.
Happy Exploring.
Aug18
Thoughtful Thursdays #133 – All Parts Are Good
We all have different parts of us. Our lives are experienced through these different parts. We have the party part, the defender, the analyzer, critic, comedian, intuitive, loving part, parent, child, adult and peacemaker are just a few. These parts can work with each other or alone.
We are not strange for having these parts. All of us have them. Each part gives us information about who we are, what we believe and many possible explanations of our actions.
All parts are good and make up our special-ness. Problems shows up when we deny these different parts. All our parts have a purpose. To help us figure things out, even if you are uncomfortable.
Trust yourself and all your parts. They are on your side and have your best interests at heart.
Jul28
Thoughtful Thursdays – # 131 Hero Of Our Own Life
We play many roles in our lives. This world drama is acted out on this beautiful stage, Earth. Every day there are millions of dramas happening at once. Some drama directly affects us and some drama does not.
Where the drama involves us we have the opportunity to be a hero and effect the outcome in the best way possible. In this way we are the hero of our own lives and create our own destiny. At the same time being a hero in your own life directly affects a positive influence on others.
We are all given a hero’s role and the power to live our days as we choose. Each day give us many chances to change, shape, act and respond to the world.
Sometimes a hero’s journey is challenging, sometimes it’s easy. However, we all have that special role, the hero role. Make the most of this life and all we encounter and be a powerful hero.
Jul7
Thoughtful Thursdays – # 129 Trying To Live In Peace
I like to mind my own business mostly unless I am dragged into situations where I have to defend myself. I like being friendly and accommodating except where I am being taken advantage of. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect my life to have good times except when it doesn’t .
Most of us want to get along and live in reasonable peace. However, we don’t all have the same awareness. Which shows up when we are interacting with others.
We meet each other at these different levels and that’s where the problems begin. We can’t understand someones indifference or cruelty or insincere remark. Why did they gossip or take belongings or leave with no warning?
How is it that some things are so obvious to us but not to them?
Simple yet not so simple. Awareness. Some of us are simply more aware than others. It’s impossible to know where the other is coming from completely. But it is possible to know about yourself. And that is all that matters because you end up being open to those who resonate with you. You become a light of awareness for others. You have a better set of boundaries. You gain unshakable confidence to live the life you want.
You can’t stop others from being who they are.
Others can’t stop you from being who you are.
So carry on with your bad self.
Peace.
Jun9
Thoughtful Thursdays – #127
The path to self discovery cannot be found in a crowd. A crowd is the opposite of self. Self if just me and a crowd is a group.
If I am to find my own path I must stand alone, which is uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because there is no crowd to hide in. I will feel groundless because are no guideposts, I will feel unsure because I must make my own decisions. I will feel insecure because I have to inspire myself.
And that is OK. It means you will grow to a well-rounded individual. You will become an inspiration to others. You will be strong enough to stick to your decisions.
Your path is to know who you are in all aspects, your thoughts, words, actions. Your path is in the things you love and the things you hate. Your path is to stand alone and not follow the crowd because the crowd has its own journey. Following the crowd is the easy way out of the uncomfortable work of finding your own path.
It’s OK to bounce from here to there and not really knowing which way is your way.
It’s supposed to be that way. Your job is to look for the signs. If it doesn’t work move away from it. Start of the beginning again. It’s OK. It’s supposed to be that way. Look for your own answers. If something doesn’t fit with you get rid of it.
Once I heard a story about a woman who cut off the end of her ham before she cooked it. Her husband asked why she did that. Her reply was because that was the way her mother always cooked ham. The husband suggested they ask why the mother did this. The mother replied because the ham didn’t fit her roasting pan.
Have you unconsciously absorbed someone elses way of doing things.
What do you want, what do you need to make your life interesting? Whatever it is take the steps to change. It’s well worth it and you don’t need to explain your actions to anyone.
It’s your life. Make the best of it.
May12
Thoughtful Thursdays #126 – To Forgive or Not To Forgive – That Is The Question
Forgiveness is one of my pet peeves. Frankly I don’t think forgiveness is necessary or possible in many cases. I think it’s stupid to forgive someone who sees no problem with their behavior.
The anger felt can’t be glossed over because feelings are not logical. If you automatically forgive because it’s uncomfortable then you are not holding the offender accountable for their actions.
If the offender recognizes the problem and genuinely apologizes and changes their behavior then repair can begin. Perhaps trust is very broken but the relationship can be saved.
Most of the time there is no acknowledgement from the offender and life goes on as if nothing has happened. What happens then? You need to protect yourself and find a healthy way to deal with the pain and hurt like going to therapy and putting up strong boundaries against the offender.
Focusing on your own life and make your life the best possible for you. That’s the best way to get build back what has been lost by the hurt.
And it’s perfectly OK not to forgive, ever, if you don’t want to.
Here’s and excellent article that aptly explains the process of forgiveness and the article today’s post is based on.
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2016/03/5-reasons-forgiveness-does-not-work/
Apr28
Thoughtful Thursdays – #125 – Ten Things You May Not Know About Meditation.
I have benefited from meditation since 2005. The benefits have been profound and permanent. Here I’ll share some of the benefits I have experienced.
- It takes just a few meditation sessions to reach a deep peacefulness.
- From the peacefulness comes the ability to be detached.
- Being detached gives the ability to non reaction.
- Meditation does not require any religious belief.
- A few minutes a day is all you need to be quiet.
- Being in nature has the same effect as a meditation session.
- You won’t be hit over the head with enlightenment but you will understand yourself and others better.
- You know you are doing it right when you feel relaxed and alert. Not sleepy. If you are sleepy you need sleep.
- You get to separate your wandering mind from your intuition.
- You can stay in the present moment for longer and longer periods.
Here’s another observation. You can’t stop you mind from thinking. So as you meditate you learn to observe the thoughts and not be dragged down by them. Meditation will boost your creativity and lower stress. Increase focus and better your health.
Meditation is my medicine, I keep it in my life. If you can’t make it to a group that does meditation, there’s plenty of meditation videos on youtube.
Give it a try for three months and you will see the benefits. You will feel better and even better the more you do it.
OM
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