Tag Archives: truth

Jul21

Thoughtful Thursdays – #130 – Mother Nature

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I am always amazed at Mother Nature. After a natural disaster Nature begins its own restoration. A blade of grass here and a flower there. A sudden tree where there was none, a bird making a new home.

It’s the same with us. When disasters happen in our lives we become swept away with confusion and grief. Just as in Nature after a disaster there will be new situations that emerge. We are the same as the blade of grass or bird.What is gone is gone and what is new is necessary at the moment.

Nature is very wise. It always seeks balance. We are part of Nature physically, emotionally spiritually. When our Nature become unbalanced change will happen to restore that balance.

Rebalancing is the reason for change or simply put change happens to restore balance. Even if you don’t understand why.

When strange things happen for no particular reason remember to just go with it. Don’t fight it because Nature is restoring balance. The quicker you accept what is happening the quicker restoration happens. And while you’re at it pay attention to Nature and its magnificent restorative ability. She is doing the same thing for you.

Jul7

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 129 Trying To Live In Peace

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I like to mind my own business mostly unless I am dragged into situations where I have to defend myself. I like being friendly and accommodating except where I am being taken advantage of. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect my life to have good times except when it doesn’t .

Most of us want to get along and live in reasonable peace. However, we don’t all have the same awareness. Which shows up when we are interacting with others.

We meet each other at these different levels and that’s where the problems begin.  We can’t understand someones indifference or cruelty or insincere remark. Why did they gossip or take belongings or leave with no warning?

How is it that some things are so obvious to us but not to them?

Simple yet not so simple. Awareness. Some of us are simply more aware than others. It’s impossible to know where the other is coming from completely. But it is possible to know about yourself. And that is all that matters because you end up being open to those who resonate with you. You become a light of awareness for others. You have a better set of boundaries. You gain unshakable confidence to live the life you want.

You can’t stop others from being who they are.

Others can’t stop you from being who you are.

So carry on with your bad self.

Peace.

 

 

Jun23

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 128 – Thinking For Yourself

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That’s a hard one. Most of the time we stick with what is easy. We are not even aware that we can choose something different.  So we continue to pick what is easy and not go against what the current society rules.

Thinking for yourself involves the following:

figuring out who you really are

figuring out where you want to spend your precious time

figuring out what to get rid of

and

taking the steps to combine all of the above.

You can live with the way things are or you can change them.

For me taking the steps is the hardest and sticking with it. That’s OK because it takes time to find where you belong.

Happy adventures.

 

Jun9

Thoughtful Thursdays – #127

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The path to self discovery cannot be found in a crowd. A crowd is the opposite of self. Self if just me and a crowd is a group.

If  I am to find my own path I must stand alone, which is uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because there is no crowd to hide in. I will feel groundless because are no guideposts, I will feel unsure because I must make my own decisions. I will feel insecure because I have to inspire myself.

And that is OK. It means you will grow to a well-rounded individual. You will become an inspiration to others. You will be strong enough to stick to your decisions.

Your path is to know who you are in all aspects, your thoughts, words, actions. Your path is in the things you love and the things you hate. Your path is to stand alone and not follow the crowd because the crowd has its own journey. Following the crowd is the easy way out of the uncomfortable work of finding your own path.

It’s OK to bounce from here to there and not really knowing which way is your way.

It’s supposed to be that way. Your job is to look for the signs. If it doesn’t work move away from it. Start of the beginning again. It’s OK. It’s supposed to be that way. Look for your own answers. If something doesn’t fit with you get rid of it.

Once I heard a story about a woman who cut off the end of her ham before she cooked it. Her husband asked why she did that. Her reply was because that was the way her mother always cooked ham. The husband suggested they ask why the mother did this. The mother replied because the ham didn’t fit her roasting pan.

Have you unconsciously absorbed someone elses way of doing things.

What do you want, what do you need to make your life interesting? Whatever it is take the steps to change. It’s well worth it and you don’t need to explain your actions to anyone.

It’s your life. Make the best of it.

May12

Thoughtful Thursdays #126 – To Forgive or Not To Forgive – That Is The Question

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Forgiveness is one of my pet peeves. Frankly I don’t think forgiveness is necessary or possible in many cases. I think it’s stupid to forgive someone who sees no problem with their behavior.

The anger felt can’t be glossed over because feelings are not logical. If you automatically forgive because it’s uncomfortable then you are not holding the offender accountable for their actions.

If the offender recognizes the problem and genuinely apologizes and changes their behavior then repair can begin. Perhaps trust is very broken but the relationship can be saved.

Most of the time there is no acknowledgement from the offender and life goes on as if nothing has happened. What happens then? You need to protect yourself and find a healthy way to deal with the pain and hurt like going to therapy and putting up strong boundaries against the offender.

Focusing on your own life and make your life the best possible for you. That’s the best way to get build back what has been lost by the hurt.

And it’s perfectly OK not to forgive, ever, if you don’t want to.

Here’s and excellent article that aptly explains the process of forgiveness and the article today’s post is based on.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2016/03/5-reasons-forgiveness-does-not-work/

 

 

Apr28

Thoughtful Thursdays – #125 – Ten Things You May Not Know About Meditation.

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I have benefited from meditation since 2005. The benefits have been profound and permanent. Here I’ll share some of the benefits I have experienced.

  1. It takes just a few meditation sessions to reach a deep peacefulness.
  2. From the peacefulness comes the ability to be detached.
  3. Being detached gives the ability to non reaction.
  4. Meditation does not require any religious belief.
  5. A few minutes a day is all you need to be quiet.
  6. Being in nature has the same effect as a meditation session.
  7. You won’t be hit over the head with enlightenment but you will understand yourself and others better.
  8. You know you are doing it right when you feel relaxed and alert. Not sleepy. If you are sleepy you need sleep.
  9. You get to separate your wandering mind from your intuition.
  10. You can stay in the present moment for longer and longer periods.

Here’s another observation. You can’t stop you mind from thinking. So as you meditate you learn to observe the thoughts and not be dragged down by them. Meditation will boost your creativity and lower stress. Increase focus and better your health.

Meditation is my medicine, I keep it in my life. If you can’t make it to a group that does meditation, there’s plenty of meditation videos on youtube.

Give it a try for three months and you will see the benefits. You will feel better and even better the more you do it.

OM

 

 

Apr14

Thoughtful Thursdays #123 – Can and Will

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What is the difference between can and will.

Can implies the ability to do something in the present tense. Will implies an action in the future tense.

I can do work effectively. I will do work effectively. See the difference? Which brings to mind ……………

What (ability) can I do now that (make something happen) will help my situation be better. You fill in the blanks of what you want to be better.

Just try one thing, not a complete over haul. The idea is to bring your future tense (will) into the present tense (can). The end result will be freedom. The freedom to have a life you created. You can do it.

Carry on.

 

Mar17

Thoughtful Thursdays #121- A Real Life Buddhist Perspective On Dealing With Annoying People

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I had lunch with  Dr. Cho and a few of our friends yesterday. Dr. Cho is a devout Buddhist. We have a mutual acquaintance who has acted in hurtful ways to him, myself and others. I am very vocal in my opinion in removing this person from our lives. but Dr. Cho disagrees. He made a point. In Buddhism there are no bad people only those that have lost their way. This person has lost their way. You can bring the hurtful actions to their attention but if they are not willing to see an issue with it you must walk away and not make it any worse. Better to let the person alone and allow karma to come to them.

This person is not violent or a threat of any kind so this view is appropriate.  This person is just so very unaware of their own behavior which is vert  annoying  but their behavior is not in my control.

Buddhism and basic psychology  say the same thing you can only control your response to situations. As far as this person is concerned things will change eventually.

While we wait, we will still go to lunch, be happy and move forward.

 

 

 

Mar3

Thoughtful Thursdays # 120 – When You Were Little You Believed Some False Stuff

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When you were little you learned lots of stuff. How to play and cooperate and dream. However, if you have had a childhood you have had a trauma. What happens when there is neglect and harassment and trauma?

All memories are held in your body. Your mind does not have to recall exact situations but your body will remember. For example, have you ever heard, smelled or tasted something reminiscent of the past? Did it make you sick to your stomach or happy? Those are held memories in your body.

At some point, if situations are too much, your mind may shut down to protect you. Your body will remember seeing your pet killed. Your body will remember verbal abuse. Your body will remember everything that had a negative impact. Your mind will see something similar to the trauma experienced and you will feel it in your body.

Any belief about abuse being normal is never true. The person doing the abuse believes that its OK to abuse. That is a false belief. The child takes on the belief that they deserve to be abused. That is a false belief. These false beliefs become intrinsic as if they are normal and true. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The truth is if your life is less than desirable and you are stuck, examine your beliefs. Look for an experienced trauma therapist. Find it in yourself to learn why you make the choices that you do.

One of the simplest free ways of healing is to listen to mediation videos or music. There’s plenty on youtube.com and with the help of a therapist you will transcend false beliefs and live a much happier life.

 

Feb25

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 119 – Taking Inventory

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Benjamin Franklin did it. All 12 Step programs do it. You do it in therapy. When something rattles your life you do it.

Take inventory.

Painful yet tremendously healing.

Taking inventory is not punishment or to shame or hurt you. Taking inventory is to step back from situations and see why you react and behave in certain ways that are less than desirable. What do you feel? Is the feeling reminiscent of the past? Do you need to continue reacting or can you stop and walk away or just be present in the moment.

What behaviors have I learned that no longer serve my higher purpose? What can I change about me that will move me to a higher level? How can I remove any toxic reactions from my behavior?

Taking inventory removes mind blindness and makes you more mindful and present. Taking inventory invites you to be you. A healthy, productive, kind and individual person you are meant to be. Put up boundaries, create movement, learn new things, don’t stagnate.

BE THE PERSON YOU ARE MEANT TO BE. You are not meant to be a clone or shadow to anyone or anything. You are meant to be you.

So take inventory. Do it often and stay open to your inner guide. And be you.