Tag Archives: kindness

Jan7

Thoughful Thurdays # 114 – Three Kinds of Laziness

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I have been reading “The Places That Scare You” by Pema Chodron and Chapter Sixteen is about three kinds of laziness.

I will sum each one up.

  1. Comfort Orientation-we use quick fixes in order not to inconvenience ourselves. For example, our car breaks down and we become enraged at the inconvenience.
  2. Loss of Heart-this is hopelessness and have poverty thinking. We drink, smoke, eat, watch TV, etc. The inability to get ourselves moving into breaking free from hopelessness.
  3. Couldn’t Care Less-this is about resentment. We become aggressive and defiant. We are not getting what we deserve. So the hell with everyone. This turns into depression.

There are three futile strategies in dealing with this laziness.

  1. We attack ourselves for being lazy.
  2. We indulge ourselves by self-doubt and inadequacy.
  3. We ignore, space out and go numb. We will do anything not to deal with the lazy behavior.

These ways of behaving lazy and these ineffective strategies have become a habit.

The answer-become curious about what your behavior is. Ask yourself why you are suffering. Experiment with different ways of behaving that will bring happiness rather than suffering. Sit with the feelings and listen to what they are telling you. Explore your own mind. The answers lie there.

Read Pema Chodron’s books or any others on human behavior. You are worth the effort.

Dec10

Thoughtful Thursdays #110 Spiritual Inventory

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There are people in this world who are genuine enough to pay attention to their own behavior. Those who are aware that how their words, actions and thoughts have an impact on those they interact with.

Here is a small list to read at the end of the day to see if you want to change or develop some of your behavior. Pick no more than two or three at a time.

Was I free from anger and judgement?

Did I give anyone sorrow or take any sorrow?

How much negative thinking was I wrapped up in?

Was I stable or unstable.

What did I bring into my interactions today? Was I positive?

Did I respect everyone regardless of name and fame?

Did I take a moment here and there to reflect on what I was thinking.

You can add more suggestions to the list. You can make a chart to fill out at the end of the day. Either way your behavior is so much more dynamic than you realize.

So be positive and joyful.

 

Nov2

Pain

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The point of pain is

to show you where

you undervalued,

overlooked, ignored,

abandoned, ignored,

postponed, neglected,

deferred, forgotten,

cast aside, shunned,

disregarded, uncared for,

despised, unwanted,

dismissed and unloved

yourself.

Stop doing that. Please.

Oct22

Thoughtful Thurdays # 107 – Curiosity

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Curiosity Killed the Cat

But Satisfaction Brought Him Back

 

I love curiosity. Where would humanity be without it. Back in the stone age I would guess.

Curiosity is  a gift, a magical and logical way to solve problems.

Curiosity is creative thinking and the answer to most questions.

Aren’t you curious about why your life is the way it is?

Aren’t you curious about how things work, how mankind evolved orfinding answers to your own burning questions?

This is a free talent we are born with. Use it. It is where you will find your path and answers to your own personal questions.

Curiosity is how you change your personal world and the world at large.

Your curiosity is important. Because you are curious you unwittingly add to the evolution of the world.

Be curious and never let anyone stop you.

 

 

Oct9

Thoughtful Thursdays #106 – Habits

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How much of your behavior is a habit? Do you  eat because the clock says it’s mealtime but you aren’t really hungry? Do you buy stuff- just because? Did some behavior become common because everyone else is doing it?

Do you have routines that you do by rote without thinking? Did you learn somewhere in your life that certain things are only done a certain way?

Did you forget to stop and observe what you are doing? What habit is not working for you anymore? What habit does not resonate with your life at this time? What is the habit that is holding you back and you know in your gut it has to go?

What’s the best way to kill a habit? Maybe cold turkey. Maybe negotiating with our minds to slowly back off of the habit. Maybe getting angry at yourself for continuing the habit even though you know it’s bad for you. Maybe stopping but still doing the habit once in a while risking full-blown relapse. Maybe finding a support group.

Definitely some courage is necessary, some realistic self talk and some determination even when you don’t feel like it.

There is no right or wrong way to kill a habit. Just as long as you kill it. Killing a habit is acceptable, necessary and holistic. Killing a bad habit with a new good habit is the easiest way to permanently kill a bad habit.

You’ll gain confidence and the new habit of persistence and personal strength. Which helps in all areas of your like.

It won’t be easy in the beginning. Habits are evil and don’t play nice. There is no reasoning with habits. Especially bad ones.

But you are the boss not them. So go for it. You will win in the end because a bad habit is a fear and a fear is a lie. The bad habit will eventually go away and you will be the victor.

Congratulations you win.

You knew that anyway.

Didn’t you?

 

Jul27

Peer Pressure

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Children are not the only group to succumb to peer pressure.

I recently saw peer pressure at work at my office. One person clearly expressed a personal desire. Not anything out of the ordinary and announced he wanted to pursue an action to improve his life. The second  person became so enraged with jealousy because he did not think of it first and is making the first persons life miserable. Unfortunately, person one is subordinate to person two.

The first person is now quiet and dejected, embarrassed and ostracized for the moment. It will change because person one has bent over to peer pressure and the threat of financial ruin.

How stupid it is to be jealous and use your power to hurt someone else especially in a professional environment. The second person won’t get anywhere. The only thing accomplished was a show of power.

How sad and frustrating it is to be forced to act fake in order to survive. How sad to live in fear of being whipped and beaten by a nobody who thinks they are entitled to beat down others for ego purposes.

What is the resolve? I don’t know at the moment. I hope person one gets what they want and person two gets what they deserve.

 

 

 

Jul7

10 Ways To Tell The Truth About What is Bothering You

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We all tell little white lies in order to avoid a confrontation or not to hurt someone’s feelings. When that no longer works we must fess up and tell the truth. Here are some ways to do that.

1. Say what you have to say peacefully with caring.

2. Before speaking be honest with yourself and what you have to say. Respond don’t react.

3. Write it down first to clear your mind.

4. Trust yourself and your ability to speak truthfully.

5. Expect the other person to get angry. Don’t say anything if you are angry.

6. It will feel uncomfortable to speak the truth at first. But stay strong. Don’t buckle under to anger or guilt.

7. Follow your heart.

8. Feel the sensations in your body. This is where you feel the surrounding energy.

9. Talk it out with someone first.

10. Ask a question to start a conversation about the subject.

Ignoring what bothers you has a band-aid effect on problems. It doesn’t last.

Don’t wait. Find a way to say what you need to say. It will clear the air and allow for positive movement.

 

 

May28

Thoughtful Thursdays – #95 Death and My Kids

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My children’s father passed away today just shy of his 60th birthday. He had a long battle with cancer and fought valiantly.

At this time all I can say is I am so proud of my kids. They stayed with him to the end. Their behavior was mature and showed a level of forgiveness that most people never reach.

As sad as it is to lose a loved one, they loved their father and showed it freely and generously. They will always have his spirit with them. They will always remember him with love.

I am lucky to have such brave kids and so was he.

 

 

May4

Your Very Own Super Powers

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I bet you didn’t know that you have super powers.

You have the power to not let anything disturb you.

You have the power to go with the flow of life.

You have the power to see an obstacle as a stepping stone.

You have the power to discern what is true and what is false.

You have the power to walk away.

You have the power to create the life you want.

Go on and do what it takes to make a wonderful life.

You are a superhero.

May3

Death

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From Pema Chrodon

Death is Certain

The hour of Death is not Certain

Pick what is Important