Category Archives: purelysimplewords

A blog about Life as a DIY project.

Apr28

Ending Relationships

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What a touchy subject. Sometimes we end relationships or the other ends relationships. The relationship could be personal or casual or business. Either way its difficult. Emotions are usually raw especially if the ending is unexpected. Actually even if it is remotely expected the end still hurts. I wouldn’t even begin to say ” I know what you are going through because I went through it too” ( I have been through it many times) because reactions are as unique as the individuals involved. But there are some common characteristics in each ending.

Endings are:
Sad, Mad, Angry, Heavy, overwhelming.
A sudden growth spurt in letting go.
About growing up.
A show of strength and character.
Not the end of the world even it may seem so.
Endings are about closure on the stuff you don’t need.
It’s a time out to examine what happened.
About learning detachment.
Take a look at what worked and leave the rest.

I’m sure there may be more but in the end the bad time is guaranteed to pass. It may pass quick or slow. But it will pass. A page in your life will turn. There will be many pages turned because change is part of life. So let time pass, seek out supportive people, read encouraging literature, and do whatever it takes to heal.

Peace

Apr12

Thoughtful Thursdays #15

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Thoughtful Thursday #15

Among other bizarre things that are happening in my life my youngest pet cat Munchkin got sick. She was nine years old. She got sick suddenly. I noticed yesterday that she was lethargic and not eating and seemed to have lost so much weight. I thought she caught a stomach virus from drinking out of my dog’s water bowl. Then I worried she had something worse.

My daughters and I took her to the vet and the prognosis was grim. She apparently had heart disease and her body made clots, which traveled and clogged the blood flow to her legs. There we were in the exam room crying and watching her slowly pass away from lack of blood to her heart. The doctor said she was in pain and there were not too many options for her recovery. We opted to put her to sleep. She died peacefully.

How very sad to watch an animal you care so much about die. After she pass away we sat in the exam room for a long time crying, petting her, kissing her, carrying her and telling her how much we love her. We told her what a good girl she is. We held her and looked at her lifeless body. We told her we were sorry about her being so sick.

After a long while we had the nurse shave some hair from her neck. She put it in an opaque tan pill bottle. We chose the individual cremation so we can take her ashes home and still have her with us. Plus a paw print.

I just wanted to say to you Munchkin how much we all love you and will miss you tremendously. That loud meow. The running away from us when we tried to catch you. Watching you sit by the window in the sun. Sometimes you would sit for so long just looking at the activity outside. Or curl up on the cushion at the windowsill and sleep so contently. Catch flies and run after toys. Scratched the heck out of the windowsill sharpening your nails.

I hope we were a good family for you and hope you were happy with us. We certainly enjoyed every minute with you. In the spirit land of kitties we hope you are relieved of your pain and are sweetly happy. We will always love you Munchkin and remember you.

We are already preparing a place for Munchkins remains. We have pictures and candles ready for her return. With the raw emotions my daughters and I feel we need this ritual to help us through this mourning period. I look forward to her return even if its in a different form.

To our darling sweet Munchkin we love you forever.

Mar7

Thoughtful Thursdays #14

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Expectations:

I’ve always disagreed with the expression ” Have no expectations of anyone and you won’t be disappointed” because it sounds so strange. It doesn’t make sense. How can you not have expectations of anyone? That expression would mean never expect the bank teller to get your deposit right. Or not expecting to trust a doctor with your health. But I have recently changed my mind because now I understand the expression a little more deeply. This expression means not to have any expectation of a person to be anything but themselves.

For example, let’s say you know someone who is a thief and a liar. You leave this person alone with your purse and your wallet disappears. You ask where your wallet is and this person lies saying that he/she doesn’t know where your wallet is. Here’s where the expectation comes in. You expected this person to be trustworthy when you knew, on some level, that this person is not trustworthy. This is where disappointment comes in. You forgot the true character of this person. This person is a thief and liar. Unless by some miracle this person changes his/her character all actions will remain that of a thief and liar.

Simply put, don’t expect others to be anything other than who they are and you won’t be disappointed.

It’s good to be hopeful that people are basically good and well intentioned because you can expect the the bank teller and doctor will do their best for you. However, some people are not. It takes time to really get to know who you are dealing with. It’s safer to be detached and slowly get to know the other person.

There is no magic formula to protect yourself from those who are untrustworthy. It is risky to trust others. Sometimes we are desperate to trust someone. But using the skills of detachment, objectivity and trusting your gut will help in deciding if someone is trustworthy. And don’t let fear of being taken advantage of stop you from trusting. Most interactions with others are just fine. But the minute you see or feel something is not right, get out of the situation quickly. Trust yourself first and you will ultimately find the truth of anything.

Peace.

Feb7

It occured to me

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That writing is like ice cream. Some you like. Some you don’t.

Sep26

Wise Words

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“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” ~Denis Waitley

Aug7

The Human Heart

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The human heart is so easily broken. All it takes is one unjustified surprise to break it. Hearts can destroy just as easy as build. It’s wonder how one heart can even exist in a world of pain.

Sometimes our own fear takes over and it seems nothing is working.

The remedy: Stop the thinking. Detach and be very objective. Get a good nights sleep, get quiet, be very good to yourself and your knowing will kick in. Knowing the next step and the restoration of your peace of mind

Jun21

Thoughtful Thursdays # 13

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Hey Gang.

Yes it’s been a while since Thoughtful Thursdays was posted. Today’s post is about the Queensborough Public Library

I have loved the library since I was little. Every week since forever ( since I was little) I have taken out library books. Even today I took out books. This is my own public plug for all libraries.  Where can you get books Like Seth Godin’s enormous collection of business books? Or Christine Perillo’s cookbook series. And classics like Shakespeare, Dante, Madeline, Curious George, Dr. Seuss. 

Any book I have an interest in I check with the library first. 99% of the time they have it. Right now I am reading Margaret Atwoods “Negotiating with the Dead” suggested reading from Stephen King’s book “On Writing”. Both books I got from the library.

With the onset of e books, Nooks, IPads and such the library is not going anywhere. They will keep up to date with technology for sure. There’s nothing like the comfort of knowing the library will continue to be around for a long time.

So go there, get a library card, meet the great people who work there, cool off or warm up. It’s a place to learn or just socialize.

Happy Reading.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jun21

Thoughtful Thursdays #13

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this post disappeared.

Mar8

New York City Weather

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Here in New York City we haven’t had much of a winter. Not that I am complaining because we have had our share of bad winters. I’m sure we will have more normal winters but this year the jet steam has favored us. I noticed that the little green buds are already out on the bushes, crocus are already blooming and the trees are shedding winter and the wind is blowing the old winter air away. The weekend we turn the clocks forward.

Spring is here again. Time for new beginnings and happy endings. It’s time to start something new. To begin anew one must start small. Really small and build upon that. Like walking a little extra to move those tired bones. Swing those arms to get the blood flowing. Don’t worry about looking foolish, in fact, others will follow your lead.

Have you ever noticed, as soon as the weather gets nice, tons of people are out. Walking, running, biking, dog walking, shopping, chatting, gardening, car washing, deeply breathing in and out.

So get outside and do outside stuff. Before it rains.

Happy Spring.

 

 

Aug11

Thoughtful Thursdays # 11

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Here’s an art activity I had fun with.

Find a Stone and Change It In Some Way

I might have mentioned I have a very big dog. His name is Rocky and he is half Labrador and half Rottweiler. He is also 123 pounds and three years old. Needless to say he’s a handful.
So, everyday, about two times per day if I can make it we go to the dog park in Long Island City. That’s the rich part of town and just about everyone has a dog. This park is right on the Hudson River. This area has about 12,000 square feet of dirt and gravel and has been a dog park for about five years. It’s beautiful there but the NYC development has taken it over to make affordable housing. In the meantime we still go there.
There are tons of rocks in all sizes and colors. I chose a fairly big one. Its about six pounds and shaped something like a triangle. However, when I washed it I saw that it was stippled and streaked with green, gray, beige and black colors. Perhaps this rock is from ancient times hidden in the ground until a bulldozer brought it up. I wonder where and how long this rock had been there. I could feel how it was in the earth. This stone has majesty and life. I was stunned to feel nature. It is so rare I get to be in nature that I am reminded of how much I miss in nature by living in the city. I looked really hard at the stone and thought how I would change it. That’s when I saw a face. I took my black magic marker and made a face. This had to have been the simplest art I have ever done. Much to my amazement it looks like a Roman Emperor. I think its Marcus Aurelius. He ruled Rome from 161 to 180 AD. I have read the book “Meditations” that was put together from his diary. It reminds me of the now ancient ruins in Rome. It reminds me of when I was about 8 and in the building were we lived there was a gigantic pink beige rock in my backyard. I would wonder if it came from dinosaur time and wonder how it got there. No one knew where it came from. It was a real mystery. This lead me to remember how I would look up in the summer sky with my friend Billy and we would ask serious questions as to where the stars came from. We were so young and so wondrous ourselves. We never did answer those questions but it was so much fun to ask. It never occurred to us to ask an adult these questions. Because both of us knew our families would just be annoyed. His father was an alcoholic and his mother co dependent and Billie ended up marrying an alcoholic woman and had four kids last I heard many years ago. His mother could cook. She was Spanish and her husband was German. She would follow her husband all over creation picking him up at every bar in town. But her food was fantastic. Sometimes my mother would make lasagna and Billie’s mom would make chicken and rice and they would exchange dishes. We would visit each other by going over the roof. We lived in side-by-side 6 families; three story buildings and each of us lived on the third floor. We lost touch many years ago. These faded memories are some of the good ones.
The stone is strong, stoic and sees time moving by. The stone will live on for a very long time. I’m not sure if I’ll return the stone to the park. It makes a really good paperweight.