Tag Archives: resistance

Jan26

Thoughtful Thursdays #150 – Talking To Myself

Posted on by
Standard

It is my opinion and experience that there are many parts to me. In a schizophrenic way we are all made up of many internal parts to greater or lesser degrees. We have the part that we show to the everyday world, a part that is the child, the part that is wounded, the love seeker, the angry one and many others. How do we know who is out and who isn’t?

If you feel stuck and frustrated there is probably and internal conflict going on between your inner parts.

The fastest way to figure out what you are thinking is to write. Sit down with a pen or at your computer and bang out what you are thinking and feeling. This will allow your inner parts a voice. At some point you will experience a window of space, of expansiveness where you will be insightful. This happened because you allowed your inner parts a voice and they get quiet. This type of writing is done frequently. The more you write from your inner parts the better you feel and more likely to change for the better.

You are worth the time and effort it takes to learn about yourself. It’s time to grow.

Jan19

Thoughtful Thursdays #149 – Remembering and Forgetting

Posted on by
Standard

Our awareness is busy all the time. It is so easy to be distracted by meaningless stuff. At some point we remember important internal stuff that needs to be addressed. This internal stuff is for your growth and happiness.  But we forget that our needs are important and keep getting distracted.

How do we remember to be good to ourselves?

Write lists, set an alarm, schedule that class, claim time for yourself, put up strong boundaries, protect your own interests, say no if necessary, have an unending interest in growing. You will end up remembering far more than forgetting.

Happy growing.

Jan5

Thoughtful Thursdays # 148 – Working On Ourselves.

Posted on by
Standard

It is not easy to examine ourselves. It can be torture. We can automatically wipe away the deep reasons we act out. We say “Why the heck did I do that?” Most of the time we can’t find a conscious reason so we shrug our shoulders, raise our hands and walk away.  We are uncomfortable with ourselves not knowing exactly what is going on beneath the surface of our thinking. But there is this gnawing, strange feeling that something is not right.

Pay attention to that feeling, it’s trying to tell you something. It is telling you to slow down and listen. It’s that small voice that is telling you why you do the things you do. When you hear it stop what you are doing and write down what was said.

Your mind will begin it’s chatter again but you will have the message to refer to anytime.

It’s not easy to ask those tough questions: Why am I not happy, why did I react that way, why, why, why. Ask without judgement and when you find the answer examine it without judgement.

It’s up to you to change or not. Just try in tiny steps and take those steps without judgement. Become a witness to you own motives. You may be surprised at what to observe.

Dec29

Thoughtful Thursdays #147 – Happy New Year

Posted on by
Standard

Another year is gone and for most of us it has had many ups and downs. Next year will be full of resolving those ups and downs with endings and new beginnings. Don’t hold on to the past because you are afraid. It is so much easier to go with the flow. It will not be easy. It will be temporarily difficult. So……………………….

Happy New Year

To You and Yours

Welcome

2017

 

Dec8

Thoughtful Thursdays – #145 Beliefs

Posted on by
Standard

Beliefs are a big thing. It’s also and unconscious big thing. We don’t even realize what we believe. Are our beliefs internalized by our environment? Or based on trauma? Or accumulated by social interactions?

Beliefs are formed in these ways and many others. You won’t know what your beliefs are until you examine what you do believe. This is not easy. We do behaviors usually by habit. Beliefs are a habit too.

For this moment think about your beliefs. Are they helpful? Are they hurtful? Are you allowing or not allowing all life experiences to come into your life so you can grow or are you hiding behind some false belief?

Do you believe you are an important part of life? Because you are important. You deserve all of life’s good stuff. Sometimes our beliefs get in the way.

Next time you feel a resistance to an experience take a look if it’s your belief. You might be surprised that it is a false belief.

It’s OK to get rid of those outdated beliefs.  Do it as soon as possible.

Dec1

Thoughtful Thursdays #144 – Depression

Posted on by
Standard

Depression – Ugh – That feeling that nothing matters and all is hopeless. But lets take another look. Depression just might be your friend. It is probably telling you something is wrong. Maybe its your job, relationships, the drug you use, the lifestyle you have, and that it’s time for a change.

The reason you feel so bad is that you refuse to listen to the changes you need to make. Change is hard but it’s better than living in a constant state of misery and hopelessness.

Don’t believe the lies that your fear will tell you that you are helpless to change. That is not true. You are capable of doing anything you want to do.

Now get out there and make a plan. Do one baby step. Only baby steps. Only baby steps work. You can do it.

Nov18

Thoughtful Thursdays #142 – Anxiety

Posted on by
Standard

Everyone has anxiety at one time or another. Anxiety can come up unexpectedly or with good reason. No one is immune to its effects. There is a secret to ridding your self of anxiety.

Anxiety is actually not an emotion.

Anxiety is a response to hidden emotions.

What is the hidden emotion that you are afraid of feeling? Usually anxiety is brought about by thoughts. When the thoughts get too uncomfortable anxiety takes over. Sometimes we aren’t ready to examine our thoughts and emotions and that is OK. Eventually when the anxiety becomes too much we must take the time to feel what we are running away from.

You may bet uncomfortable but the more you practice examining what you are thinking the better you will feel.

Nov10

Thoughtful Thursdays #141 – Control

Posted on by
Standard

This election has been quite a surprise. Some citizens are happy, some citizens are sad. And that is OK. We have lived through many questionable presidents.

There is nothing you can do about who is president. Not even your vote counted because the Electoral College is the one who really picks the president. Don’t believe me? Check for yourself. The only reason you vote is to express your opinion to the Electoral College. Therefore, how much control did you really have when you voted. Not much. That was an illusion.

Control of others is an illusion. Period. You can influence but not control. I am talking adults here. How frustrating it is to know that you mostly can’t control conditions  outside of you. You are probably shouting at this post right now saying she doesn’t know what she is talking about. But you can’t control what I write nor can I control how you view my writing.

Controlling yourself is the best way to effect your own life for the better. You have control over your effort, lifestyle, job, relationships and any other choice you make for yourself. That is the power you have right now that can be used at anytime.

Focusing on your own life is vastly more important than who is president. Focus on what is in your control not what is outside of it.

Oct20

Thoughtful Thursdays # 139 – Following Your Dreams

Posted on by
Standard

I can’t stand broad generalizations about what to do with your life. Most of the time these phrases are tongue in cheek sayings that mean nothing because there are no specifics. In the case of “Follow Your Dreams”: of course it’s true but my dream is different from yours.  What is meaningful to you is not meaningful to me. So what to do.

  1. Be specific about what your dream is.
  2. What are the steps needed to fulfill that dream.
  3. Believe it’s achievable.
  4. Decide on a timeline to get there.
  5. If you need help, ask for it.
  6. Stay focused.

I am sure you could flesh this out to fit your plan. Instead of “Follow Your Dreams”  how about “Let’s Make A Plan”.

I like that.

Happy planning.

Sep29

Thoughtful Thursdays # 137 – Habits

Posted on by
Standard

Some habits are so ingrained that we are completely unaware of them. Like taking the easy way or the familiar way. Continuing to do the same things over and over with only the wish to get through the day. One day you wake up and say where did the last 10 years go and looking back it was all the same. Habits do that.

There were times you were uneasy about something, a feeling that there needed to be a shift. A new way of doing things but you didn’t listen. You kept up the habits because it was automatic and seemed to make sense. After all why change when what you were doing worked.

One day your routine habit is interrupted. Probably something not in your control. Havoc and chaos is now your companion not your habit. There’s that pesky shift, the unwanted change, the inconvenience of doing things differently.

That is what life is about. Shifts and change and movement. If you are unaware of your habits then when change happens you will be terribly afraid. If you are aware that old habits leave and new ones arrive you will be ease into it.

Be open to new ways of being and doing and learning. Rigidity will give you health problems and an overall gloomy outlook. There is so much to learn and experience. Get out of your habits and be alive.

Happy Exploring.