Tag Archives: courage

Oct16

It’s All In Your Mind

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This is an old adage. For millenia philosophers, sages and ordinary folk understand on a fundamental level that everything begins and ends in the mind.

We are talking about thinking. Not magical thinking or wishes. This is thinking with action.

It’s making up our minds and acting on it.

Of course this is simpler said than done. If you are fed up with the same negative results over and over again then it’s time to change some small action. One small change will kick in the domino effect. One thing affects another and so on.

Keep in mind it takes about six weeks for any change to become effective. So have patience.

Change demands boundaries and commitment and movement in a gentle way. In a non-judgemental way.

It’s OK if you fall short of your objective. It’s OK if you start again from square one. It’s OK if you re-adjust again and again to get to your objective.

Just start and try. You can always change your mind.

 

 

Oct9

Thoughtful Thursdays #106 – Habits

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How much of your behavior is a habit? Do you  eat because the clock says it’s mealtime but you aren’t really hungry? Do you buy stuff- just because? Did some behavior become common because everyone else is doing it?

Do you have routines that you do by rote without thinking? Did you learn somewhere in your life that certain things are only done a certain way?

Did you forget to stop and observe what you are doing? What habit is not working for you anymore? What habit does not resonate with your life at this time? What is the habit that is holding you back and you know in your gut it has to go?

What’s the best way to kill a habit? Maybe cold turkey. Maybe negotiating with our minds to slowly back off of the habit. Maybe getting angry at yourself for continuing the habit even though you know it’s bad for you. Maybe stopping but still doing the habit once in a while risking full-blown relapse. Maybe finding a support group.

Definitely some courage is necessary, some realistic self talk and some determination even when you don’t feel like it.

There is no right or wrong way to kill a habit. Just as long as you kill it. Killing a habit is acceptable, necessary and holistic. Killing a bad habit with a new good habit is the easiest way to permanently kill a bad habit.

You’ll gain confidence and the new habit of persistence and personal strength. Which helps in all areas of your like.

It won’t be easy in the beginning. Habits are evil and don’t play nice. There is no reasoning with habits. Especially bad ones.

But you are the boss not them. So go for it. You will win in the end because a bad habit is a fear and a fear is a lie. The bad habit will eventually go away and you will be the victor.

Congratulations you win.

You knew that anyway.

Didn’t you?

 

Oct1

Thoughtful Thursdays #105 Relationships

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What a loaded subject. If you want peace in all your relationships remember:

The other person’s behavior towards you tells you how they feel about themselves.

Their behavior has nothing to do with your value.

If you remember this, as time goes on you’ll stop reacting in your realtionships and start enjoying your relationships.

Sep28

Procrastination

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I am an expert in procrastination. It is something I manage to do every day. I find myself doing what needs to be done after I have spent too much time Facebook, socializing and anything else that wastes time. But at the end of the day I have done very little for my hearts desire.

Then there are some days ( not enough of them ) where I am in the zone. Creating, painting, writing, expanding, whirling, expressing and all is well.

Occasionally I do fifty percent of what has to be done and fifty percent of creating. These are ideal days. Also not enough of them.

I find myself trying to figure out how to balance my art with my responsibilities and I have come to the conclusion: Make plans to do the art but know that life happens and I must be flexible. I can always restart where I left off.

 

Sep10

Thoughtful Thursdays #103 – Worry

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Who told you to worry?

Who said you can not stop worrying?

Worry is stressful. Worry tenses the body and causes pain.

Most of the stuff you worry about never happens.

Worry puts you on the path of over thinking, panic, the downward spiral of depression. In no time at all you will be paralyzed.

As soon as you start to worry, replace the thoughts with positive gentle words. At first your mind will fight you. Soon you will see that worrying is just a habit and habits can be changed.

Worry is just fear. You are stronger than any fear.

For one day say nothing negative about yourself in your thoughts or out loud. Then try it for another day, and another and another until it becomes a habit.

Have patience, it takes time to change a negative habit into a positive habit.

You can do it. Just try.

Sep3

Thoughtful Thursdays #102 Trauma

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“Trauma survivors have symptoms instead of memories.” (Harvey, 1990) Adapted from Bremner & Marmer, 1998, Copyright 2007 Dr. Fisher

Trauma comes in many forms. Violence of any kind, addictions in both the user and observer, unavailable caregivers, isolation, and poverty are just a few ways of experiencing trauma.

Trauma is toxic mentally and physically because it stops you from maturing and living a full life.  The symptoms of trauma are depression, irritability, loss of interest, numbing, decreased concentration, insomnia, emotional overwhelm, hopelessness, shame and worthlessness, little or no memories, nightmares, flashbacks, hyper-vigilance, mistrust, anxiety, panic attacks, chronic pain, headaches, substance abuse, eating disorders, feeling unreal and out-of-body, self-destructive, loss of a sense of “Who I am”.

That’s a lot of information and possible triggers but they are symptoms of something that holds you back. Trauma effects everything you do with and without your awareness.

To heal from trauma is obvious. Find a trauma therapist. There are tons of information available to read and passionate therapists who want to help you heal.

If you realize you have been a victim that’s good. You will move from victim to survivor to one who thrives to a warrior.

You are strong, reach out and heal.

Sep3

The Benefit of Feeling Safe

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If you don’t feel safe in your own skin, in your environment, in your mind, in any situation (other than life threatening) then you will not see opportunities to grow.

If you feel safe there is a sense of freedom. There is the belief that there are many possibilities. There is courage to try new things. There is hope. There is generosity.

Safety has a lot to do with what you believe. If your beliefs have made it difficult to feel safe, it’s time to examine these beliefs. Challange them, look them square in the eye and tell them to move over it’s time for a change. A change for the better.

Your freedom is precious, protect it, honor it, it belongs to you. You are free to choose anything. Start small and in a short time your courage will make you feel safe.

Safe enough it change your world. Wow.

You Rock!!!!!!

Aug13

Thoughtful Thursdays # 101 – Bravery

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True bravery is letting go of what is familiar.

True bravery is trying new things.

True bravery is living closest to your heart’s calling.

True bravery is leaving what is not working.

True bravery is telling yourself the truth.

True bravery is no following the crowd.

There are many reasons to stay stuck, to get unstuck start small. The change will feel uncomfortable. That’s OK. Just sit with it.

Aug11

Freedom

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So many times we feel stuck. Nothing is working out. We are confused about which way to go. Bored and restless.

Reminder: your options are not limited. Ignore naysayers and your own resistance. Think out side of the norm.

To free yourself from your actual or perceived restrictions: Choose.

Choose any direction. Any direction will lead you to freedom. Even if it is as simple a decision as what to eat for breakfast.

Feeling you have no control in your life could be based on your own actions. But more likly because of your inaction.

Aug4

Commitment

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I am not going to preach about commitment. Most of the time I am not very good at it unless it is really important or necessary.  I usually focus on what I can get by with.

It is common to focus on the small window of activities in our lives because we are so busy doing actions to keep our heads above water.

Is society the cause? Is the economy the cause? Is  fear the cause? Distractions? There are as many reasons and justifications as there are people.

For me, I am willing to commit to situations I either love or really enjoy or as a result of a crisis.  Is that enough, probably not because I stay in my comfort zone. Let’s be reasonable. How much time does one have in a day.

The solution is to make an effort to get out of one’s comfort zone. Easier said than done. But so noticeable necessary.

Just try……..that’s the only requirement in a commitment.