Category Archives: Uncategorized

How Blogging Saved my Sorry Writer’s Ass

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writerchick's avatarAnita Rodgers Mystery Writer

words

Started out innocent enough. A writer friend was going on vacation, could I cover his blog while he was gone? A blog? WTF is a blog? He showed me the ropes:

  • Where to find images
  • How to post a blog
  • What categories and tags were
  • How to respond to comments

Back then you needed a handle, a blogger’s name, an avatar. Because you know, back then we didn’t use our actual names. Privacy and all that, right? So for lack of a better idea I went with Writer Chick (who knew it would stick?).

So….I blogged for him. I wrote about whatever came into my head. My first post was called Cream Boogers.  Surprisingly, people liked it.

After a week of this, I kinda got the blogging bug. So when he came back I started my own blog. I was scared. It was weird. I mean, who’d want to…

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Thoughtful Thursdays # 89 Commitment

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What is commitment?

Dedication to a cause.  It is loyalty, devotion, a promise, a pledge, an action that transform something into reality.

We can commit to pay our bills on time.

We can promise to be faithful to someone.

We can pledge to self-improvement.

So why is it so hard to transform our actions into a realistic outcome?

Because we don’t commit with our whole being. Commitment requires a certain amount of fearlessness and being uncomfortable with change. So how do we start?

Slowly, very slowly because with small changes, tiny choices one by one eventually become the commitment to change anything for the better.

 

 

FAQ – Does the Narcissist Miss You After No Contact?

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Kim Saeed's avatarLet Me Reach with Kim Saeed

Sad Woman

A large percentage of people who’ve implemented No Contact with their Narcissistic partner will inevitably ask this question.  Why?  Because they are often consumed with missing the Narcissist, and they wonder if he or she has the same feelings of loss and sorrow…perhaps wondering if there’s a chance to rekindle the relationship.

The short answer is no.  When we wonder if the Narcissist misses us, we are projecting our loving, caring feelings onto them.  The important thing to remember is that Narcissists do not think the way we do, nor experience the same emotions.  They operate solely from ego, so the usual emotions of missing someone or feelings of sadness and regret typically don’t affect them.  Below are the most common stages (emotional and physical) a Narcissist goes through when one has implemented No Contact (**These are not listed in order of rank.   These stages are for reference and can manifest…

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Waking Up

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Waking up to who we are is too important to ignore.

In Buddhism and psychology there is a method of healing that is easy in theory but difficult to do, unless you have trust.

I recently had some recurring flashbacks from the past. These feelings were a mystery that I have had since I was a child. My body felt like it was stinging. My mind was racing with desperation and longing, unidentifiable restlessness. I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was such a familiar feeling full of pain, hot tears and wanting an end to the pain.

I got still and trusted myself enough to be quiet and detached.

I let my mind go to that dark place where these feelings began and I had  a revelation that the feelings I relived were of abandonment. On a gut level I knew I was revisiting trauma from the past in what seems to be many years ago and almost an eternity ago. The memories flooded my mind. All the poor decisions based on my abandonment issues saturated my being. I understood how abandonment effected me. How abandonment was pervasive. I was not sad, just relived. I was fortunate enough to trust myself to sit with the feelings without running away from them.

Not running away from my feelings was the perfect way to get through the things that were holding me back on a very deep level.

Conclusion: Trust your mind it knows what it needs to heal.

 

 

 

Music Is Healing

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There is a ton of information out there about how the power of music is healing. Music has had a healing effect on me too. When I started meditation I listened to groups like Bliss and Carmen Warringtons meditation music. My favorite listening music is Jazz. Each has it’s place and I have been touched and healed by music in amazing ways.

Here’s my take in the subject.

1. Rythum is primal. The beat of a drum can be hypnotic or wild. Depending on the movement emotions can be intense or calm.

2.Tone is the rate of vibration of a sound. Tone has an effect physically and psychological effect on our being. Tone has the invisable effect that words can’t touch.

3. Melody is a group of notes put together to form a score. A melody can produce emotions, inspire imagination , bring up urges, effect our bodies and its functions.

Everyone listens to music and is influenced by it.

What most people don’t realize is that music touchs a higher level consciousness that is beyond worldly concerns.

It’s the times when you hear a song or hear lyrics that resonate in a place in your being that has no words. You could feel elation or serious sadness, love, empowerment, peace or centeredness.

Music has been called forth to be the language of the gods. It’s the language of the heavens and the universal language of the earth.

Musical sound is on the level of thoughts. Incognito but felt. Sound is the bases of the universe. There is sound everywhere whether you are conscious of it or not.

You have a choice to pay attention or ignore what sounds are effecting you.

In the store, in your place of worship, dance, in nature, on a seaside, on your radio, anywhere. Classical, Jazz, Tribal, Popular, Ethnic and many more.

Music is there just listen.

 

 

Jessica Whitley-Aquatics Director and Head Swim Coach at John Jay College of Criminal Justice

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jessica john jay picture

I would like you to meet Jessica Whitley. I have known her for quite a few years now, as my daughters swim coach at her alma mater John Jay College of Criminal Justice. Jessica is a dedicated coach and director, she has motivated many teams, my daughters included, to win college championships and serious college competitions. She builds the all girls swim team to understand what it means to be a team and work together to be winners in the pool and out of the pool. She also maintains a professional and positive attitude with the team that the team absorbs.

Jessica has such a positive attitude and a superior motivator that after graduation my daughter joined her as assistant coach.

Let’s get to know Jessica better.

PSW: How did you become a college swim coach?

JW: Nothing quite beats the thrill of a competitive swim race! I am a former swimmer who decided to become a coach after calling time on my competitive career.

Becoming a college swim coach was not on my radar until I attended John Jay College for my master’s degree. I met Dr. Jane Katz poolside, where I lifeguarded a few hours per week. Suddenly, Dr. Katz husband passed away and she had to take a leave of absence. The head of the physical education department read through my resume and wanted me to take over her college swimming classes as well as coach the swim team.

After meeting the very few ladies on the team, it amazed me to see that the swimmers were able to attend full time school, have a full time job and support their families at home. Coaching is more than telling the athletes to complete practices and swim fast at meets, it is about the coach believeing in the athletes so they feel important and appreciated. I quickly realized that my knowledge of swimming and being a Seton Hall Graduate can really make an impact these your athletes in a positive way. I decided to commit myself to the team members and make them understand that swimming well guide them to a successful careet, structure their lives, and their therapy when they need it.

PSW: How long have you been a college coach?

JW: I am in my 8th season now.

PSW: What is your day like?

JW: My day starts at 4:15 am. I reside in PA so it takes me about an hour and a half to get to work. I start at 6-6:15 and begin planning for the day. Practice is from 8 to 10 am. I am also the Aquatics Director so I maintain, schedule and operate the pool. I have a lifeguard and staff of 7 that I scheducle and train.

PSW: What are your job duties?

JW: Women’s Swim Team Coach responsibilities are:  team training and the focal point for all new activities.

I work extensive hours to coordinate all team practices and clinics.

Collect and summarize team statistics and attend numerous away clinics to gain more knowledge.

As Aquatics Director I manage the pool facility, oversee the pool, lockers and deck area, Oversee a staff of seven. Plan and host events that occur in the pool area.

PSW: What are the challenges of being a college swim coach?

JW: The challenges of being a college swim coach are the athletes not buying into my program and not seeing the benefits right away. I have to gain their trust and let them know that there will be a positive outcome throughout and at the end of the season.

My yearly goal is to have 100% success rate both in the pool and in the classroom. With hard work and support, the athletes will see a major difference from start to finish.

PSW: What are the benefits?

JW: There are so many! Here’s a list:

The swimmers are happy
They commit and stick to the program
Their grades improve
Their swim times improve
Their life imporves
Their communication improves
Their dedication improves
They gain confidence, structure, organization skills

PSW: Are there opportunities for advancement?

JW: There are many opportunities for advancement. I started as a lifeguard, became an Adjunct Professor and Head Coach, moved up to Aquatics Director and Head Coach. There are always opportunities at any workplace, you just work hard and prove that you are doing your job and doing it well.

PSW: Do you have any hobbies?

JW: I do like to run. Ever since I completed my four years as a college athlete, I enjoy running. I also play with my dogs and cats. I am a family person and enjoy being in my new home with the people I love.

PSW: Describe your team assistants and team members?

JW: My team assistants are my former 4 year athletes. I put them on staff because I realized how dedicated they were to the sport. They proved themselves being on my team for 4 years. They are my co-coaches and my support. I always tell them “a head coach is only as good as their assistants.” I trust my assistants to run everything. If I cannot be present, they will take over practice and/or meets efficiently. My assistants have shown me their drive and their commitment to the team. They have been with me for three years now and the team has strengthened because of them

My team members are students. They enter college struggling (all students do at any college) and learn how to organize structure and gain strength to complete a four year degree. They are hard workers, exceptional students and great athletes.

PSW: Are there any special rules to be in a team?

JW: Yes, you must be a full time student. You must swim a 50 (2 laps) freestyle under 45 seconds. You must be able to commit to all practices and meets. You must have a yearly physical done. You must keep your GPA above 2.0.

PSW: Do you have any advice to those who want to be a college swim coach?

JW: My advice, for any job, would be to set a goal and complete that goal. A realistic goal is important. Pay attention to your strengths and weaknesses and focus on improving both. Fight for what you want in life and never, ever give up. With or without support, you can meet your goals. Surround yourself with people who are positive and continue to be who you are and be open to critiques. No one is perfect.

PSW: Thank you so much Jessica. I especially like your advice of fighting for what you want in life and never, ever give up, with or without support. And be open to critiques because no one is perfect.

Jessica Whitley is a role model for anyone who wants to advance in both their career and life. Jessica teaches all who come into her world how to be better than before. Her enthusiam, dedication and care is rare. She is an exceptional teacher and wonderful human being.

I hope Jessica Whitley is an inspiration to you and you will take some of her advice to change your life.

Her contact information is jkolackovsky@jjay.cuny.edu

Medicine Buddha Invocation

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Tashi Nyima's avatarGreat Middle Way

I prostrate to the King of Peaceful Radiance, the Master of Healing, the Perfectly Awakened! You benefit all living beings, protect us from the miseries of inferior realms, and dispel the three poisons and their resultant ailments by the power of your Name. I pray to the Supreme Healer, victorious over the three poisons! 

You hold in your right hand a stem of myrobalan, the antidote to all physical ailments, and in your left hand a bowl of nectar to purify the mind. The rays emanating from your body penetrate all directions of cyclic existence to bless and cure all sentient beings of physical and mental disorders, and dispel negative karma. 

For all beings, may your Name, the nectar of all healing, always be on our lips! May it subdue the four hundred and four diseases caused by physical imbalances. May it also subdue the one thousand…

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Courage

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Tashi Nyima's avatarGreat Middle Way

Courage is the mental and moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty in the face of opposition, shame, scandal, and discouragement.

Courage manifests as the Three Minds:
1. THE SINCERE MIND —the willingness to acknowledge our own fundamental goodness without arrogance, knowing that all sentient beings share Natural Perfection; and to recognize our innate stains without despair, knowing that we have the capacity to overcome and control our afflicted emotions and obscurations.
2. THE DEEP MIND —the ability to maintain full conviction and faith in the grace received from the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, regardless of doubts, obstacles, or difficulties, and to act according to our highest understanding of the Dharma.
3. THE ASPIRING MIND —the determination to dedicate this and all future lives to benefit others, tame our afflictions, open wide all the gates to the Dharma, and embody the path to enlightenment for every sentient…

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For The Benefit Of Others

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Tashi Nyima's avatarGreat Middle Way

Lord-Kshitigarbha-V1_2_1-723x1024Bodhisattvas work for the benefit of others in eleven ways:

  1. befriending the friendless;
  2. counseling the confused;
  3. helping the helpless;
  4. protecting the fearful;
  5. comforting the grieving;
  6. sharing with the destitute;
  7. mentoring those who seek spiritual guidance;
  8. accompanying those traversing the path;
  9. praising the prudent;
  10. admonishing the rash; and
  11. subduing those who will not yield to good counsel.

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Forms of Compassion

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Tashi Nyima's avatarGreat Middle Way

ThangkaIf there are sentient beings who need someone in the form of a Buddha in order to be liberated, Chenrezig (Avalokiteshvara, Kwan Yin, Kannon) immediately manifests as a Buddha and speaks the Dharma for them. If they need someone in the form of a Solitary Realizer to be liberated, the Bodhisattva immediately manifests as a Solitary Realizer and exemplifies the Dharma for them. If they need a Disciple to be liberated, the Bodhisattva immediately manifests as a Disciple and speaks the Dharma for them. 

If they need a powerful god, a great general, a heavenly king, a worldly king, an elder, a layperson, a minister, a priest, a monk, a nun, a female elder, a female layperson, a female minister, a priestess, a young boy, a young girl, a celestial being, a dragon, a human being, a non-human being, or an indestructible deity to be liberated, the…

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