Go to Facebook and sign in, search “7 On Your Side” and I am on the commercial about the Landlord problem. I will be on the 11 PM news “7 On Your Side” with Nina Pinada. (that’s in NYC).
May3
Author Archives: purelysimplewords
Apr28
Ending Relationships
What a touchy subject. Sometimes we end relationships or the other ends relationships. The relationship could be personal or casual or business. Either way its difficult. Emotions are usually raw especially if the ending is unexpected. Actually even if it is remotely expected the end still hurts. I wouldn’t even begin to say ” I know what you are going through because I went through it too” ( I have been through it many times) because reactions are as unique as the individuals involved. But there are some common characteristics in each ending.
Endings are:
Sad, Mad, Angry, Heavy, overwhelming.
A sudden growth spurt in letting go.
About growing up.
A show of strength and character.
Not the end of the world even it may seem so.
Endings are about closure on the stuff you don’t need.
It’s a time out to examine what happened.
About learning detachment.
Take a look at what worked and leave the rest.
I’m sure there may be more but in the end the bad time is guaranteed to pass. It may pass quick or slow. But it will pass. A page in your life will turn. There will be many pages turned because change is part of life. So let time pass, seek out supportive people, read encouraging literature, and do whatever it takes to heal.
Peace
Apr12
Thoughtful Thursdays #15
Thoughtful Thursday #15
Among other bizarre things that are happening in my life my youngest pet cat Munchkin got sick. She was nine years old. She got sick suddenly. I noticed yesterday that she was lethargic and not eating and seemed to have lost so much weight. I thought she caught a stomach virus from drinking out of my dog’s water bowl. Then I worried she had something worse.
My daughters and I took her to the vet and the prognosis was grim. She apparently had heart disease and her body made clots, which traveled and clogged the blood flow to her legs. There we were in the exam room crying and watching her slowly pass away from lack of blood to her heart. The doctor said she was in pain and there were not too many options for her recovery. We opted to put her to sleep. She died peacefully.
How very sad to watch an animal you care so much about die. After she pass away we sat in the exam room for a long time crying, petting her, kissing her, carrying her and telling her how much we love her. We told her what a good girl she is. We held her and looked at her lifeless body. We told her we were sorry about her being so sick.
After a long while we had the nurse shave some hair from her neck. She put it in an opaque tan pill bottle. We chose the individual cremation so we can take her ashes home and still have her with us. Plus a paw print.
I just wanted to say to you Munchkin how much we all love you and will miss you tremendously. That loud meow. The running away from us when we tried to catch you. Watching you sit by the window in the sun. Sometimes you would sit for so long just looking at the activity outside. Or curl up on the cushion at the windowsill and sleep so contently. Catch flies and run after toys. Scratched the heck out of the windowsill sharpening your nails.
I hope we were a good family for you and hope you were happy with us. We certainly enjoyed every minute with you. In the spirit land of kitties we hope you are relieved of your pain and are sweetly happy. We will always love you Munchkin and remember you.
We are already preparing a place for Munchkins remains. We have pictures and candles ready for her return. With the raw emotions my daughters and I feel we need this ritual to help us through this mourning period. I look forward to her return even if its in a different form.
To our darling sweet Munchkin we love you forever.
Mar7
Thoughtful Thursdays #14
Expectations:
I’ve always disagreed with the expression ” Have no expectations of anyone and you won’t be disappointed” because it sounds so strange. It doesn’t make sense. How can you not have expectations of anyone? That expression would mean never expect the bank teller to get your deposit right. Or not expecting to trust a doctor with your health. But I have recently changed my mind because now I understand the expression a little more deeply. This expression means not to have any expectation of a person to be anything but themselves.
For example, let’s say you know someone who is a thief and a liar. You leave this person alone with your purse and your wallet disappears. You ask where your wallet is and this person lies saying that he/she doesn’t know where your wallet is. Here’s where the expectation comes in. You expected this person to be trustworthy when you knew, on some level, that this person is not trustworthy. This is where disappointment comes in. You forgot the true character of this person. This person is a thief and liar. Unless by some miracle this person changes his/her character all actions will remain that of a thief and liar.
Simply put, don’t expect others to be anything other than who they are and you won’t be disappointed.
It’s good to be hopeful that people are basically good and well intentioned because you can expect the the bank teller and doctor will do their best for you. However, some people are not. It takes time to really get to know who you are dealing with. It’s safer to be detached and slowly get to know the other person.
There is no magic formula to protect yourself from those who are untrustworthy. It is risky to trust others. Sometimes we are desperate to trust someone. But using the skills of detachment, objectivity and trusting your gut will help in deciding if someone is trustworthy. And don’t let fear of being taken advantage of stop you from trusting. Most interactions with others are just fine. But the minute you see or feel something is not right, get out of the situation quickly. Trust yourself first and you will ultimately find the truth of anything.
Peace.
Feb28
Maybe someone out there can help me.
I live in Queens, NY and the landlord in my building has shut off the heat, hot water and now we have no water. I have been to court many times over the past 15 months and to no avail we still have no services. Today I am going to court again for this. I have contacted every court and agency I can think of. This is all part of an illegal eviction because the owners are divorcing. Even my councilman can’t seem to help. Is there anyone out there that can give me some ideas for the next step?
Feb25
Calmness and the Dept of Motor Vehicles
It makes a difference how people react to you when you are calm. For the most part you don’t know what another person is going through. Perhaps they don’t feel well, have worries, just got bad news, or have just plain big egos. So your gift to that person is to stay calm no matter what happens. To do this takes a special level of awareness. It is not easy especially when you don’t feel well, have worries or just got bad news and your ego is just as big.
By staying calm you give your self the same gift. With calmness comes peace and with peace comes clarity of mind. My mantra today is to “stay calm”. Especially since I am on my way to the Dept of Motor Vehicles here in Queens, NY. I am sure this will be a test of my resolve.
Oh my!
Feb18
Love
What a loaded subject. There are so many different definitions of love that no one knows for sure what it means. Love is defined as physical attraction, falling in love with the shoes in a department store window, a pet, a person, a lifestyle, an emotion, the list is endless.
I am now going to put an end to all false notions of what love is. Here goes:
Love is an attitude. It’s the choice to be kind hearted even when others are not.
Chew on that for a while.
Feb18
The Holidays are over.
As much as I like the holidays I am always glad they are over. Too much work, stress and not enough resting. Now it’s back to a regular routine, work, bills and still no rest.
I am not a goal person. I just do what needs to be done and change what needs to be changed. So in the spirit of the new year it’s time for me to re-evaluate what needs to be changed and then just do it.
Happy New Year
Feb17
Family Albums
I just read the blog post of “Write Change Grow” about holding on to family portraits and pictures. Here are some of my thoughts on whether one should or should not hold on to those pictures.
I have held on to many pictures. I have a special photo album with a silver metal cover that I keep hidden and inside holds pictures of my family and significant others at various times of my life. When I look at them I become sentimental and recall the good times. Not the bad times. It’s a chance to think fondly of these people who in some way influenced me in either a positive or negative way. The album makes me wish for a better time and not the constant drama of egos. The album is a chance to send good wishes and pure feelings to those who I can’t find the words to express how I feel or of those who are not willing to listen to how I feel. Keeping these pictures is a form of therapy. In my opinion it’s a form of grief therapy. Which is probably why I keep the album hidden. It’s the opportunity to go through the five stages of grief, namely, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
It’s safe way of dropping denial and believing that it wasn’t that bad, yes, it was that bad. Being angry at a safe distance, bargaining with invisible ghosts of those I wish I could speak to or even an unavailable higher power called upon to help but never shows up. Getting depressed about what might have been and all the lost time spent trying and hoping things would work out. It’s a way of feeling better about the disappointments surrounding those relationships. And finally after a long time accepting what is. Not having any more unrealistic hopes and dreams about the present moment. And realizing that relationships turn out the way they are supposed to and if those relationships had continued perhaps it would have been worse. Ultimately the celebration that I am strong and so is everyone else who has such an album whether hidden or on the coffee table.
As crushing or seemingly supportive each relationship was it has taught me that change always happens and with each ending or beginning I grow.
Happy Growing and keep those pictures until you are ready to dump them.
Feb7
It occured to me
That writing is like ice cream. Some you like. Some you don’t.
purelysimplewords 