Tag Archives: relationships

Dec1

Thoughtful Thursdays #144 – Depression

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Depression – Ugh – That feeling that nothing matters and all is hopeless. But lets take another look. Depression just might be your friend. It is probably telling you something is wrong. Maybe its your job, relationships, the drug you use, the lifestyle you have, and that it’s time for a change.

The reason you feel so bad is that you refuse to listen to the changes you need to make. Change is hard but it’s better than living in a constant state of misery and hopelessness.

Don’t believe the lies that your fear will tell you that you are helpless to change. That is not true. You are capable of doing anything you want to do.

Now get out there and make a plan. Do one baby step. Only baby steps. Only baby steps work. You can do it.

Nov10

Thoughtful Thursdays #141 – Control

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This election has been quite a surprise. Some citizens are happy, some citizens are sad. And that is OK. We have lived through many questionable presidents.

There is nothing you can do about who is president. Not even your vote counted because the Electoral College is the one who really picks the president. Don’t believe me? Check for yourself. The only reason you vote is to express your opinion to the Electoral College. Therefore, how much control did you really have when you voted. Not much. That was an illusion.

Control of others is an illusion. Period. You can influence but not control. I am talking adults here. How frustrating it is to know that you mostly can’t control conditions  outside of you. You are probably shouting at this post right now saying she doesn’t know what she is talking about. But you can’t control what I write nor can I control how you view my writing.

Controlling yourself is the best way to effect your own life for the better. You have control over your effort, lifestyle, job, relationships and any other choice you make for yourself. That is the power you have right now that can be used at anytime.

Focusing on your own life is vastly more important than who is president. Focus on what is in your control not what is outside of it.

Oct20

Thoughtful Thursdays # 139 – Following Your Dreams

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I can’t stand broad generalizations about what to do with your life. Most of the time these phrases are tongue in cheek sayings that mean nothing because there are no specifics. In the case of “Follow Your Dreams”: of course it’s true but my dream is different from yours.  What is meaningful to you is not meaningful to me. So what to do.

  1. Be specific about what your dream is.
  2. What are the steps needed to fulfill that dream.
  3. Believe it’s achievable.
  4. Decide on a timeline to get there.
  5. If you need help, ask for it.
  6. Stay focused.

I am sure you could flesh this out to fit your plan. Instead of “Follow Your Dreams”  how about “Let’s Make A Plan”.

I like that.

Happy planning.

Aug18

Thoughtful Thursdays #133 – All Parts Are Good

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We all have different parts of us. Our lives are experienced through these different parts. We have the party part, the defender, the analyzer, critic, comedian, intuitive, loving part, parent, child, adult and peacemaker are just a few. These parts can work with each other or alone.

We are not strange for having these parts. All of us have them. Each part gives us information about who we are, what we believe and many possible explanations of our actions.

All parts are good and make up our special-ness. Problems shows up when we deny these different parts. All our parts have a purpose. To help us figure things out, even if you are uncomfortable.

Trust yourself and all your parts. They are on your side and have your best interests at heart.

Jul28

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 131 Hero Of Our Own Life

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We play many roles in our lives. This world drama is acted out on this beautiful stage, Earth. Every day there are millions of dramas happening at once. Some drama directly affects us and some drama does not.

Where the drama involves us we have the opportunity to be a hero and effect the outcome in the best way possible. In this way we are the hero of our own lives and create our own destiny. At the same time being a hero in your own life directly affects a positive influence on others.

We are all given a hero’s role and the power to live our days as we choose. Each day give us many chances to change, shape, act and respond to the world.

Sometimes a hero’s journey is challenging, sometimes it’s easy. However, we all have that special role, the hero role. Make the most of this life and all we encounter and be a powerful hero.

 

 

 

Jul21

Thoughtful Thursdays – #130 – Mother Nature

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I am always amazed at Mother Nature. After a natural disaster Nature begins its own restoration. A blade of grass here and a flower there. A sudden tree where there was none, a bird making a new home.

It’s the same with us. When disasters happen in our lives we become swept away with confusion and grief. Just as in Nature after a disaster there will be new situations that emerge. We are the same as the blade of grass or bird.What is gone is gone and what is new is necessary at the moment.

Nature is very wise. It always seeks balance. We are part of Nature physically, emotionally spiritually. When our Nature become unbalanced change will happen to restore that balance.

Rebalancing is the reason for change or simply put change happens to restore balance. Even if you don’t understand why.

When strange things happen for no particular reason remember to just go with it. Don’t fight it because Nature is restoring balance. The quicker you accept what is happening the quicker restoration happens. And while you’re at it pay attention to Nature and its magnificent restorative ability. She is doing the same thing for you.

Jul14

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 130 A Work In Progress

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Your life is a work in progress.

It is the process of uncovering your own natural essence. You will uncover who you are and how you feel. Your mind and heart will open and what you need will come to you if you stay open to your own essence.

In being open you will realize, beyond doubt, that you already have everything you need. Intelligence, wisdom and goodness. That’s all you really need.

If you feel uncomfortable being open then you are on the right track. It’s a new skill.

Keep practicing. You have everything you need.

 

May12

Thoughtful Thursdays #126 – To Forgive or Not To Forgive – That Is The Question

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Forgiveness is one of my pet peeves. Frankly I don’t think forgiveness is necessary or possible in many cases. I think it’s stupid to forgive someone who sees no problem with their behavior.

The anger felt can’t be glossed over because feelings are not logical. If you automatically forgive because it’s uncomfortable then you are not holding the offender accountable for their actions.

If the offender recognizes the problem and genuinely apologizes and changes their behavior then repair can begin. Perhaps trust is very broken but the relationship can be saved.

Most of the time there is no acknowledgement from the offender and life goes on as if nothing has happened. What happens then? You need to protect yourself and find a healthy way to deal with the pain and hurt like going to therapy and putting up strong boundaries against the offender.

Focusing on your own life and make your life the best possible for you. That’s the best way to get build back what has been lost by the hurt.

And it’s perfectly OK not to forgive, ever, if you don’t want to.

Here’s and excellent article that aptly explains the process of forgiveness and the article today’s post is based on.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2016/03/5-reasons-forgiveness-does-not-work/

 

 

Apr21

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 124 Types of Beliefs

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Beliefs are concepts we take as true and never question. Sometimes there is no logical reason to believe it.

There are several types of beliefs.

The belief in your own weakness and shortcomings. I am not good, smart, pretty or rich enough.

Survival beliefs. Let me take and take and give nothing in return without seeing the repercussions.

Creating blocks because we believe others have hurt us, so we cut off the flow of energy to them.

The belief that we are strong and can accomplish, finish or create something.

Core beliefs about ourselves as spiritual beings. We understand ourselves and others.

Check your beliefs. Are they true, do they apply to who you are now? Question why you believe what you believe. Did you learn it from your own experience or absorb it? Do you need to believe the same stuff now?

If you don’t need the belief where you stand now then let it go. There’s so much more to learn if you let go of stuff you don’t need to believe.

 

Apr14

Thoughtful Thursdays #123 – Can and Will

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What is the difference between can and will.

Can implies the ability to do something in the present tense. Will implies an action in the future tense.

I can do work effectively. I will do work effectively. See the difference? Which brings to mind ……………

What (ability) can I do now that (make something happen) will help my situation be better. You fill in the blanks of what you want to be better.

Just try one thing, not a complete over haul. The idea is to bring your future tense (will) into the present tense (can). The end result will be freedom. The freedom to have a life you created. You can do it.

Carry on.