Tag Archives: love

Sep29

Thoughtful Thursdays # 137 – Habits

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Some habits are so ingrained that we are completely unaware of them. Like taking the easy way or the familiar way. Continuing to do the same things over and over with only the wish to get through the day. One day you wake up and say where did the last 10 years go and looking back it was all the same. Habits do that.

There were times you were uneasy about something, a feeling that there needed to be a shift. A new way of doing things but you didn’t listen. You kept up the habits because it was automatic and seemed to make sense. After all why change when what you were doing worked.

One day your routine habit is interrupted. Probably something not in your control. Havoc and chaos is now your companion not your habit. There’s that pesky shift, the unwanted change, the inconvenience of doing things differently.

That is what life is about. Shifts and change and movement. If you are unaware of your habits then when change happens you will be terribly afraid. If you are aware that old habits leave and new ones arrive you will be ease into it.

Be open to new ways of being and doing and learning. Rigidity will give you health problems and an overall gloomy outlook. There is so much to learn and experience. Get out of your habits and be alive.

Happy Exploring.

Aug11

Thoughtful Thursdays #132 – Taking Care of Yourself

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It’s the easiest thing to get distracted with day to day activities and forget about yourself.

Here’s some simple things to do:

  1. Drink more water.
  2. Take the stairs.
  3. Seek out positive people.
  4. Meditate
  5. Avoid mood altering substances.
  6. Sleep
  7. Write
  8. Do art.
  9. Listen to Music.
  10. Be Peaceful.

Feel free to add more. It’s your time and your life. You are worth the effort.

Jul7

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 129 Trying To Live In Peace

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I like to mind my own business mostly unless I am dragged into situations where I have to defend myself. I like being friendly and accommodating except where I am being taken advantage of. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect my life to have good times except when it doesn’t .

Most of us want to get along and live in reasonable peace. However, we don’t all have the same awareness. Which shows up when we are interacting with others.

We meet each other at these different levels and that’s where the problems begin.  We can’t understand someones indifference or cruelty or insincere remark. Why did they gossip or take belongings or leave with no warning?

How is it that some things are so obvious to us but not to them?

Simple yet not so simple. Awareness. Some of us are simply more aware than others. It’s impossible to know where the other is coming from completely. But it is possible to know about yourself. And that is all that matters because you end up being open to those who resonate with you. You become a light of awareness for others. You have a better set of boundaries. You gain unshakable confidence to live the life you want.

You can’t stop others from being who they are.

Others can’t stop you from being who you are.

So carry on with your bad self.

Peace.

 

 

May12

Thoughtful Thursdays #126 – To Forgive or Not To Forgive – That Is The Question

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Forgiveness is one of my pet peeves. Frankly I don’t think forgiveness is necessary or possible in many cases. I think it’s stupid to forgive someone who sees no problem with their behavior.

The anger felt can’t be glossed over because feelings are not logical. If you automatically forgive because it’s uncomfortable then you are not holding the offender accountable for their actions.

If the offender recognizes the problem and genuinely apologizes and changes their behavior then repair can begin. Perhaps trust is very broken but the relationship can be saved.

Most of the time there is no acknowledgement from the offender and life goes on as if nothing has happened. What happens then? You need to protect yourself and find a healthy way to deal with the pain and hurt like going to therapy and putting up strong boundaries against the offender.

Focusing on your own life and make your life the best possible for you. That’s the best way to get build back what has been lost by the hurt.

And it’s perfectly OK not to forgive, ever, if you don’t want to.

Here’s and excellent article that aptly explains the process of forgiveness and the article today’s post is based on.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/childhood-neglect/2016/03/5-reasons-forgiveness-does-not-work/

 

 

Apr21

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 124 Types of Beliefs

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Beliefs are concepts we take as true and never question. Sometimes there is no logical reason to believe it.

There are several types of beliefs.

The belief in your own weakness and shortcomings. I am not good, smart, pretty or rich enough.

Survival beliefs. Let me take and take and give nothing in return without seeing the repercussions.

Creating blocks because we believe others have hurt us, so we cut off the flow of energy to them.

The belief that we are strong and can accomplish, finish or create something.

Core beliefs about ourselves as spiritual beings. We understand ourselves and others.

Check your beliefs. Are they true, do they apply to who you are now? Question why you believe what you believe. Did you learn it from your own experience or absorb it? Do you need to believe the same stuff now?

If you don’t need the belief where you stand now then let it go. There’s so much more to learn if you let go of stuff you don’t need to believe.

 

Apr14

Thoughtful Thursdays #123 – Can and Will

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What is the difference between can and will.

Can implies the ability to do something in the present tense. Will implies an action in the future tense.

I can do work effectively. I will do work effectively. See the difference? Which brings to mind ……………

What (ability) can I do now that (make something happen) will help my situation be better. You fill in the blanks of what you want to be better.

Just try one thing, not a complete over haul. The idea is to bring your future tense (will) into the present tense (can). The end result will be freedom. The freedom to have a life you created. You can do it.

Carry on.

 

Mar17

Thoughtful Thursdays #121- A Real Life Buddhist Perspective On Dealing With Annoying People

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I had lunch with  Dr. Cho and a few of our friends yesterday. Dr. Cho is a devout Buddhist. We have a mutual acquaintance who has acted in hurtful ways to him, myself and others. I am very vocal in my opinion in removing this person from our lives. but Dr. Cho disagrees. He made a point. In Buddhism there are no bad people only those that have lost their way. This person has lost their way. You can bring the hurtful actions to their attention but if they are not willing to see an issue with it you must walk away and not make it any worse. Better to let the person alone and allow karma to come to them.

This person is not violent or a threat of any kind so this view is appropriate.  This person is just so very unaware of their own behavior which is vert  annoying  but their behavior is not in my control.

Buddhism and basic psychology  say the same thing you can only control your response to situations. As far as this person is concerned things will change eventually.

While we wait, we will still go to lunch, be happy and move forward.

 

 

 

Feb4

Thoughtful Thursdays #118-Income Tax

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I have just spent the whole day gathering the majority of my information to file income tax. It was grueling and I am still not done.

I procrastinated for one year and I am feeling the pain now. Why did I procrastinate for a year knowing full well that it would be torture to get this work done.

I am sure I am not alone in this. We all procrastinate because of going out of our comfort zone, basic laziness and fear.

I’ve learned my lesson. I’m done procrastinating.

Back to work.

Jan28

Thoughtful Thursdays #117 – Recognizing Resistance

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It’s easy to recognize resistance in someone else. You watch them hem and haw, twitch and bolt, lie and freeze. You don’t understand the problem in them. No matter what you do you can’t show them their resistance.

It’s the same with you. You will resist that which is uncomfortable, threatening and revolting. Your own resistance is based on fear. Your own history makes these fears. This resistance is based on the false belief that you can’t take care of your self. Which is not true. You can handle anything. You are brave, give yourself some credit.

The moment you recognize resistance it is the signal not to hold back. It’s the compass pointing true north. It’s where you need to go.

Recognizing resistance is part of everyone’s journey. It’s a resource and teaching tool that is in everyone. It’s part of how our brains function to show us where we need to go next.

What are you resisting, where’s your next adventure?

Zoom – Zoom

Dec24

Thoughful Thursdays #112 – That Time of Year

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Wishing you and yours a fantastic and transformative 2016.

May you find the courage to trust your journey

With peace in your heart and wings on your feet,

HAPPY HOLIDAYS.