Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Feb25

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 119 – Taking Inventory

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Benjamin Franklin did it. All 12 Step programs do it. You do it in therapy. When something rattles your life you do it.

Take inventory.

Painful yet tremendously healing.

Taking inventory is not punishment or to shame or hurt you. Taking inventory is to step back from situations and see why you react and behave in certain ways that are less than desirable. What do you feel? Is the feeling reminiscent of the past? Do you need to continue reacting or can you stop and walk away or just be present in the moment.

What behaviors have I learned that no longer serve my higher purpose? What can I change about me that will move me to a higher level? How can I remove any toxic reactions from my behavior?

Taking inventory removes mind blindness and makes you more mindful and present. Taking inventory invites you to be you. A healthy, productive, kind and individual person you are meant to be. Put up boundaries, create movement, learn new things, don’t stagnate.

BE THE PERSON YOU ARE MEANT TO BE. You are not meant to be a clone or shadow to anyone or anything. You are meant to be you.

So take inventory. Do it often and stay open to your inner guide. And be you.

 

Jan28

Thoughtful Thursdays #117 – Recognizing Resistance

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It’s easy to recognize resistance in someone else. You watch them hem and haw, twitch and bolt, lie and freeze. You don’t understand the problem in them. No matter what you do you can’t show them their resistance.

It’s the same with you. You will resist that which is uncomfortable, threatening and revolting. Your own resistance is based on fear. Your own history makes these fears. This resistance is based on the false belief that you can’t take care of your self. Which is not true. You can handle anything. You are brave, give yourself some credit.

The moment you recognize resistance it is the signal not to hold back. It’s the compass pointing true north. It’s where you need to go.

Recognizing resistance is part of everyone’s journey. It’s a resource and teaching tool that is in everyone. It’s part of how our brains function to show us where we need to go next.

What are you resisting, where’s your next adventure?

Zoom – Zoom

Dec10

Thoughtful Thursdays #110 Spiritual Inventory

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There are people in this world who are genuine enough to pay attention to their own behavior. Those who are aware that how their words, actions and thoughts have an impact on those they interact with.

Here is a small list to read at the end of the day to see if you want to change or develop some of your behavior. Pick no more than two or three at a time.

Was I free from anger and judgement?

Did I give anyone sorrow or take any sorrow?

How much negative thinking was I wrapped up in?

Was I stable or unstable.

What did I bring into my interactions today? Was I positive?

Did I respect everyone regardless of name and fame?

Did I take a moment here and there to reflect on what I was thinking.

You can add more suggestions to the list. You can make a chart to fill out at the end of the day. Either way your behavior is so much more dynamic than you realize.

So be positive and joyful.

 

Nov19

Thoughtful Thursdays #109 – Hope

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Do you have an expectation or hearts desire? Do you want something to happen? Do you long for, wish for, desire for a personal fulfilment.

That is hope. I hope this situation goes in my favor. My heart longs for a better whatever. I have desired that goal forever.

Until the very last-minute of our lives there is hope. Hope for a change. Hope for our longings. Hope for our desires. Hope for our lives to be better.

Hope is also trust. It is trusting ourselves and the movement of life. Hope is not a wishful thinking state of mind. One must be active in observing our own actions and the actions surrounding us. Hope is hanging in there when we don’t know the answers. Hope is an antidote and answer to disbelief, doubt, despair, fear and hatred.

With that I hope you have all that makes your life better.

Your life is not over yet.

Time to hope for the best.

 

 

Oct16

It’s All In Your Mind

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This is an old adage. For millenia philosophers, sages and ordinary folk understand on a fundamental level that everything begins and ends in the mind.

We are talking about thinking. Not magical thinking or wishes. This is thinking with action.

It’s making up our minds and acting on it.

Of course this is simpler said than done. If you are fed up with the same negative results over and over again then it’s time to change some small action. One small change will kick in the domino effect. One thing affects another and so on.

Keep in mind it takes about six weeks for any change to become effective. So have patience.

Change demands boundaries and commitment and movement in a gentle way. In a non-judgemental way.

It’s OK if you fall short of your objective. It’s OK if you start again from square one. It’s OK if you re-adjust again and again to get to your objective.

Just start and try. You can always change your mind.

 

 

Sep15

Free Thinking

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Most of us feel trapped in our decisions as if there are no alternatives.

Not true.

Where do you feel trapped? Maybe in your job, relationships, lifestyle, trauma, beliefs. What worries you? What grates on your nerves? What precipitates your addictions? What keeps you going round and round instead of forward?

Try this.

Free write about each concern.

Free role play possible outcomes.

Free your child mind with crayons on paper.

Free yourself with music you have never heard.

Free your spirit with twenty minutes of silence.

Free your body with dancing.

Free yourself of addiction by sitting with uncomfortable feelings.

Freely choose something different instead of habits.

Freely be different.

Free your heart by speaking your mind.

Freely think of all possible outcomes.

Freely share yourself with the world.

Freely divorce yourself from negativity.

Freely choose what is purposeful for you.

Freely reach out to others when you are needy.

Your life is meant to be meaningful. You are important. When you choose alternatives that make you life better you give others permission to do so also.

Get it?

Good.

Carry on.

Sep3

Thoughtful Thursdays #102 Trauma

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“Trauma survivors have symptoms instead of memories.” (Harvey, 1990) Adapted from Bremner & Marmer, 1998, Copyright 2007 Dr. Fisher

Trauma comes in many forms. Violence of any kind, addictions in both the user and observer, unavailable caregivers, isolation, and poverty are just a few ways of experiencing trauma.

Trauma is toxic mentally and physically because it stops you from maturing and living a full life.  The symptoms of trauma are depression, irritability, loss of interest, numbing, decreased concentration, insomnia, emotional overwhelm, hopelessness, shame and worthlessness, little or no memories, nightmares, flashbacks, hyper-vigilance, mistrust, anxiety, panic attacks, chronic pain, headaches, substance abuse, eating disorders, feeling unreal and out-of-body, self-destructive, loss of a sense of “Who I am”.

That’s a lot of information and possible triggers but they are symptoms of something that holds you back. Trauma effects everything you do with and without your awareness.

To heal from trauma is obvious. Find a trauma therapist. There are tons of information available to read and passionate therapists who want to help you heal.

If you realize you have been a victim that’s good. You will move from victim to survivor to one who thrives to a warrior.

You are strong, reach out and heal.

Sep3

The Benefit of Feeling Safe

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If you don’t feel safe in your own skin, in your environment, in your mind, in any situation (other than life threatening) then you will not see opportunities to grow.

If you feel safe there is a sense of freedom. There is the belief that there are many possibilities. There is courage to try new things. There is hope. There is generosity.

Safety has a lot to do with what you believe. If your beliefs have made it difficult to feel safe, it’s time to examine these beliefs. Challange them, look them square in the eye and tell them to move over it’s time for a change. A change for the better.

Your freedom is precious, protect it, honor it, it belongs to you. You are free to choose anything. Start small and in a short time your courage will make you feel safe.

Safe enough it change your world. Wow.

You Rock!!!!!!

Aug16

The Sins of the Father Explained

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The Sins of the Father are not an ancient curse. It is the human condition of repeating the same old negative patterns over and over for generation after generation.

For example, pervasive abuse on any level will stay intact as long as the abuse is seen as normal. Many times abuse is accepted as a way of life. As if there is no other way of living. Therefore, the cycles of abuse remain for a long time, until someone finally realizes this is enough.

Family systems are complicated. People are complicated. Humans are a product of habit and fear.

Except when whether in secret or out in the open someone reaches out for a better way of living. Eventually the cycle is broken.

All it takes is some courage, please try. You know in your gut what you need to move forward. Please try to have the courage to break the cycle of abuse.

Aug11

Freedom

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So many times we feel stuck. Nothing is working out. We are confused about which way to go. Bored and restless.

Reminder: your options are not limited. Ignore naysayers and your own resistance. Think out side of the norm.

To free yourself from your actual or perceived restrictions: Choose.

Choose any direction. Any direction will lead you to freedom. Even if it is as simple a decision as what to eat for breakfast.

Feeling you have no control in your life could be based on your own actions. But more likly because of your inaction.