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Thoughtful Thursdays #32 Change

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What does it take to change? Your mind that is. Why is it so hard to change your Mind? There are tons of information on the internet and in books on the subject. And it’s one of the questions that has literally plagued mankind for centuries.

Change is hard. Sometimes.

The simple answers is we are hard wired to stay safe, be obedient and compliant because societies need this type of cooperation in order to survive It is also much easier to go with the crowd because it is truly nerve wracking to be who you truly are. There is nothing wrong with staying safe but it’s a hindrance to personal growth.

There is a nagging voice in us that says what is really important for our growth. Most of the time the voice is really quiet so we miss it. But it is always there. Our loud mouth egos are always yelling at us for some reason or another. The loud ego flits from one thing to another. Whatever is holding its interest is the mode of the moment. When we listen to the ego and we get into trouble is the moment we can step back and listen once more to the quiet voice.

Here is where effective change can take place. its not easy to change and changing always involves small steps. Sometimes there are moments of sweeping change but this is rare. In the small steps is where we make the most progress.

Try this, instead of listening to the loud chatter, Tell it to stop and replace the chatter with positive thought.

For example, a sneaky little negative thought popped into your head and you are feeling stuck and overwhelmed. Don’t fret.

Don’t listen to it. Replace the negative thought with a positive one. It won’t work the first few times but repeat a positive thought again and again. Eventually your mind will cooperate with you and your life will change for the better.

Happy changing.

Family Albums

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I just read the blog post of “Write Change Grow” about holding on to family portraits and pictures. Here are some of my thoughts on whether one should or should not hold on to those pictures.

I have held on to many pictures. I have a special photo album with a silver metal cover that I keep hidden and inside holds pictures of my family and significant others at various times of my life. When I look at them I become sentimental and recall the good times. Not the bad times. It’s a chance to think fondly of these people who in some way influenced me in either a positive or negative way. The album makes me wish for a better time and not the constant drama of egos. The album is a chance to send good wishes and pure feelings to those who I can’t find the words to express how I feel or of those who are not willing to listen to how I feel. Keeping these pictures is a form of therapy. In my opinion it’s a form of grief therapy. Which is probably why I keep the album hidden. It’s the opportunity to go through the five stages of grief, namely, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

It’s safe way of dropping denial and believing that it wasn’t that bad, yes, it was that bad. Being angry at a safe distance, bargaining with invisible ghosts of those I wish I could speak to or even an unavailable higher power called upon to help but never shows up. Getting depressed about what might have been and all the lost time spent trying and hoping things would work out. It’s a way of feeling better about the disappointments surrounding those relationships. And finally after a long time accepting what is. Not having any more unrealistic hopes and dreams about the present moment. And realizing that relationships turn out the way they are supposed to and if those relationships had continued perhaps it would have been worse. Ultimately the celebration that I am strong and so is everyone else who has such an album whether hidden or on the coffee table.

As crushing or seemingly supportive each relationship was it has taught me that change always happens and with each ending or beginning I grow.

Happy Growing and keep those pictures until you are ready to dump them.

The Human Heart

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The human heart is so easily broken. All it takes is one unjustified surprise to break it. Hearts can destroy just as easy as build. It’s wonder how one heart can even exist in a world of pain.

Sometimes our own fear takes over and it seems nothing is working.

The remedy: Stop the thinking. Detach and be very objective. Get a good nights sleep, get quiet, be very good to yourself and your knowing will kick in. Knowing the next step and the restoration of your peace of mind